Archive for the 'Uncategorized' Category

This is not a post!

Sunday, August 3rd, 2008

Just letting you know that, yep, the blog is still dead.

And, after coming back from a (generally, more or less) delightful two-week breather with the family, still have no intention of playing Jesus to my blog’s Lazarus.

I know you folks want to stay in the loop on such things.

Are You There, God? It’s Me, Andy.

Tuesday, May 13th, 2008

Just a heads-up, Yahweh.

I may be a modern day Job, but I’m still not going to bring back the blog!





Ah, yes, nothing like getting rear-ended at 50MPH and being pushed into the back of another vehicle.

Don’t worry, everyone walked away. I had the only injury, a scraped-up and bloody shin, although I suspect there will be much soreness and maybe even whiplash pain tomorrow. Time will tell.

On a happier note, it’s good to have friends with a sense of humor. See the photo below taken by my colleague who agreed to come give me a lift home.





I would have thought I’d be more upset by the whole event, but – you know what? – it’s just stuff. It’s just a car. It’s really not that important in the big picture.

I walked away, which seemed quite surprising to my insurance agent on the phone as I described the accident. It does make you realize that everything can be over so very, very quickly, should the fates or gods or laws of physics decide not to go your way.

Coming home, I’ve never been happier to see my family. I’ve never wanted to speak to my parents more than tonight.

And I swear this new found attitude is going to last a good 48-72 hours. You have my word!

Note: There are other ironic details to be told, but that might have to wait until all is settled and done. For now, let’s just be happy that everyone is alive and kickin’.

Note 2: I would also like to thank all of those other drivers who clearly saw that a very violent accident happened and did nothing to assist anyone involved, because – hey – your dinner was waiting.

May you all one day find yourself rapidly bleeding out with your head through the windshield while others just slow down to gawk at you.

Assholes, the lot of you.

Note 3: See, the neat thing about having stopped blogging is that I can just update this one post for ever and ever and IT DOESN’T REALLY COUNT.

Kids are funny.

Ewan (2 yrs old): “You broke the car, Dada!”

Fiona (5 yrs old): “Mama, when are you going to crash your car and get a new one?”

Jesus Loves Me, This I Know

Friday, February 8th, 2008

for the massive destruction and loss of life from this week’s tornadoes in the South tells me so.

JACKSON, Tenn. — God is not an abstraction at Union University. Here, business classes might begin with a prayer. Biology students are encouraged to take creationism as seriously as they do evolution.

So what does it say about the nature of God that the campus was shredded this week by a barrage of tornadoes? What does it say that no lives were lost, despite $40 million in damage?

What does it say that more than 50 lives were lost across the South this week? What does it say that the vast majority of homes and businesses (including, I am guessing, porn shops) were left untouched?

It says (drum roll): nothing.

Why?

Because, to the atheist, living and dying was a matter of dumb luck, the laws of physics, and building construction.

Because, to the theist, it’s all part of God’s good and loving plan and (for most of them) no amount of evidence to the contrary will change their mind.

“Basically, I know God kept everyone at this school safe,” said Amber Campagna, an 18-year-old freshman. “I don’t know why God let it happen — but I really believe he was testing every student here.”

Some people he tests. Some people he crushes to death under what used to be their home.

Because, hey, God is love.

C’mon, give the guy a kiss.

A Dean from the *cough* university *cough* continues:

God’s motive for destroying the school, he said, “is probably in the realm of the things that belong to the Lord. . . . But what we can say is, look at the solidarity here. Why do we have people from the whole country rallying around this cause? I think that says something about what God has revealed to us.”

Wow, so only fifty-something people had to perish and only millions upon millions of dollars of damage had to be done just to get the 2000 students at Union to come together. I am thinking perhaps a free concert by a popular band would have accomplished the same thing, without all the heartbreak.

Why are people around the country rallying to help out? Because we’re sympathetic animals, especially to the group, and particularly when the cost to us of feeling good about ourselves is little more than writing a small check and clasping our hands toward the heavens. I guess if world hunger and genocide can’t spur us humans to come together, revealing our inner goodness through natural disasters close to home is a close second.

And this guy’s the Dean? Wow, quite the education you kids must be getting there. Although, I suppose it’s pretty easy to calculate the various aspects of a circle when you think Pi is equal to three.

Later he discussed some of the lessons that could be taught. He spoke of Job, the good man who was so vexed when God allowed him to be burdened with great misfortunes.

He spoke of Rodney Stark, the contemporary sociologist who has argued that early Christian communities thrived in Greco-Roman cities thanks to the mutual aid they exhibited during disasters and plagues.

“It’s not a religion of fear,” Thornbury said.

Proverbs 1:7 says “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction.”

Whoops. So much for that. Guess that explains the general lack of knowledge in such institutions.

“Really, I’m just thankful I’m alive,” said Bare, 22, who was raised in Ecuador by Christian missionary parents. “These things don’t really matter at all. God completely protected our lives, and that’s what matters.”

And the people who God decided to smite? Well, they probably had it coming, huh?

Some people make me sick.

Well, Um

Thursday, January 24th, 2008

…duh?

NASA: Mystery Creature On Mars Is Wind-Carved Rock

Who thought otherwise?

Oh, that’s right: stupid people.

Because, Yes, I Like to Remind Myself How Old I Am On a Regular Basis

Wednesday, September 26th, 2007

Sure, it’s a bit dated (21 years or so), but here’s a video from David & David, “Welcome to the Boomtown,” the best somewhat-known cut from an under-appreciated album:


Every time I have iTunes make a random MP3 CD for me, one of their tracks seems to find its way on there, because Apple is all kinds of smart.

Except for that whole Apple TV venture.

And, uh, the way that there’s a bit of a major label backlash growing against their tyrannical market ways.

But when it comes to David & David?

Pure genius, baby.

Pure, sweet, 80s genius.

Somewhat Related: Another good way to feel the passage of time is to be throwing out old receipts and see that, in early 2000, you paid Amazon $972 for an Olympus digital camera with a whopping 3.2 megapixels. Although, you know, for my purposes it still takes some nice photos (and will continue to do for the next 50 years, because, damnit, I paid nearly $1000 for that thing).

More: I think I might have linked to this video before. More evidence that I’m getting old and forgetful.

Hey. Do I know you?

Really Old Archives

Saturday, September 8th, 2007

You can find the really old stuff in the dusty WWR archives.

All sorts of ancient WWR goodness to be found there.

Reluctant

Wednesday, August 8th, 2007

Far be it from me to say.

Obvious

Wednesday, August 8th, 2007

It goes without saying.

Things to Do Before I Die

Monday, July 16th, 2007

1. Swallow a live bunny brandishing a barbed wire whip.

2. Be molested by a brazen and sassy camel with a lisp.

3. Go on a cruise with the idiots and readers of the National Review.

Truth be told, I’m looking forward to numbers one and two more than number three.

Alongside #3, I’d probably also rank a medicinal cruise to Cuba with Michael Moore.

A Question for the Legal-Types Among You

Monday, June 11th, 2007

Let’s say you get called for jury duty.

And let’s say you end up on jury duty.

And let’s say it’s going to be a long trial.

Does the Court take into consideration that you’re the sole breadwinner for a family with two small children and a very pregnant wife, and that you’re facing some mounting medical bills this year?

Not that any of the above, except the first item, has happened yet, but I’m curious about options. I want to serve, just not for more than a few days, as it would – well – make life really, really difficult.