Archive for the 'Guestbloggers' Category

Too Late, Again

Monday, February 12th, 2007

First, I wait too long and blow my chances with David of Resurrection Song fame.

Then, I fail in every way to board a plane for the Big Apple and The Retropolitan slips right through my slippery little fingers.

And now, *sigh*, and now Andy has returned to his post and I never even managed to bore wow you all with tales of my latest PTA adventures! Curses! Curse my poor timing!

And so I reluctantly hand back the wheels to you, Andy. But fear not, faithful readers. I shall return. I shall return soon and beg persuade you all to donate $15 to my kids’ school with the promise of seeing a Grammy award nominee in a venue roughly the size of, oh, Burger King.

Mwah hah hah!


Saturday, February 10th, 2007

So Barack Obama is officially in. Sure, he seems like a pleasant enough fella who gives good speeches (I checked my thesarus for alternatives to articulate…can’t appear to be racist, ya know), but all I hear from him are banal platitudes. It’s along the lines of, “The children are our future” and “We must work together to fulfill America’s promise as one nation.” Yawn. He never says anything of substance and is relying on the media-created persona to fool people. 45 years old, no competitive campaigns, a very liberal voting record, and two years of doing nothing in the Senate, and he wants to be President?

Forgive me, but anyone willing to consider such an empty-suit with a charming smile needs their head checked. People, don’t pay attention to a politician’s words! Examine their actions and votes before jerking off to him/her. Obama has nothing!

I don’t care for Hillary Clinton and she is clearly not as articulate as Obama (at least for a white person), but she does have a record. I respect her more for standing by it (mostly), than someone who’s the media flavor of the month.

My Dad Cried (and I couldn’t say anything)

Saturday, February 10th, 2007

My beloved Grandpa passed away in Denver last June at 92 years old, after suffering from two years of Alzheimer’s disease. He is considered the great man in our family…the one who set the standards for work ethic, personal responsibility, and love of family. My Dad gave the eulogy at his memorial and I’d like to share it with you. It’s in outline form, but try to imagine my Dad flowing through it effortlessly…until the end. (I’ve deleted the last name, of course.)

This is NOT How to Warm-up

Wednesday, February 7th, 2007

As mentioned in my post below, it’s always important to at least stretch or warm-up a little before the workout. Let’s just say this is not what I had in mind.

Via A funny gossip blog that I never read.

Body by Blake

Wednesday, February 7th, 2007

I just can’t write about politics right now. Let’s face it, politicians suck and they’re too easy of a target. However, I am happy to hear Ted Haggard has been cured of his homosexuality. I think he was inspired by the now infamous Snickers Super Bowl ad and ripped out his chest hair. Just to cover the bases, my parents forced me into a permanent hair-removal procedure when I was ten and it works. I’ve been straight ever since.

Anyway, as per the title, this will be a boring post about my workout/diet/supplement routine that began about three months ago and has been very effective. Since it may not interest you, I’m going to include the rest of the post in the extended entry. Feel free to read on, if you want. (It’s long.)

Bush vs. Edwards

Tuesday, February 6th, 2007

I’ll post my thoughts about the presidential contenders for 2008 sometime tomorrow, but when I was considering what to say about John Edwards, I remembered this hilarious video from the 2004 elections. You may have already seen it, but it’s worth another viewing. Please leave your political leanings at the door, turn on the speakers, watch the whole thing, and enjoy.

A Very Sophisticated, Educated Assessment of the Upcoming 2008 Campaign

Monday, February 5th, 2007

Sen. Hillary R. Clinton: I like her, I’ll admit it. She’s sassy and not afraid to say out loud that she hates to ever-living crap out of George Bush. She loathes him and it shows. That’s pretty balsy for a woman in politics and I am drawn to it. Honestly, really, truly honestly, I must admit that my vote for her would really be my vote for getting Bill back in the White House. I dig Bill Clinton. I think he was a good president and set a fine example for the next admistration to follow. Can you imagine where we’d be right now if W just got a decent blow-job every now & then? My guess? Not Iraq.

Sen. Barack Obama: I really like him. Like, a LOT. He just seems like a for real person, an actual American. He does good things. I just like him, OK?

Sen. Joe Biden: He is from Delaware. I am from Delaware. That kinda seals my vote, now doesn’t it?

Rep. Tom Tancredo: Seriously?? This ass-hat is thinking about running? I will seriously carve out every part of me that has touched American soil with a spoon and move to Eritrea if he gets elected.

Rudy Guiliani: Here’s where my dilemma lies. Not that I am a Democrat or anything, but dear god in heaven I am certainly not a Republican. But this guy, he’s a bit o’ alright, he is. He is smart and clever and he, well, if you can keep New York in order through what he did, you just might sway my vote. Sometimes I worry that he is too far up W’s heiney-hole to do what is best for our nation and not just what is expected, but hey, he’s a New Yorker. Ain’t no New Yorker too far up anybody’s heiney-hole.

Blake, I’d love it if you took the next four.

The Audacity of Caruso

Sunday, February 4th, 2007

For those of you who remember, I’ve expressed my disdain for the acting of David Caruso on CSI:Miami.

It is so over-the-top and ridiculous that it actually becomes enjoyable after your first vomit.

It’s strange…he was quite good as Det. John Kelly on NYPD Blue, but as Lt. Horatio Crane he basically plays the same character to an absurd extreme. The only saving grace of this show is Emily Proctor, who is not only gorgeous, but appears to have an orgasm every time she fires a gun. (At least in my perverted mind.) Anyway, the below clip perfectly encapsulates why my title fits Caruso.

How in the holy hell does an actor do this seriously and get work? Your job as a commenter is to list the reasons why this clip is so wrong.

A Chick Recaps the Superbowl …Badly

Sunday, February 4th, 2007

Well, Dorkafork, you were right.

Someone did, indeed, win the bowl. For those of you in Alabama on the moon, the Colts won. The Bears started off alright, but they really didn’t stand a chance.

I was rooting for both teams, I suppose, but being from The Mile Hi city, and seeing how proud the people here are of John Elway and the fact that he managed to squeeze in that Superbowl win before he retired, I have to say that I am happy for Peyton and I think he deserves this.

I remember when Freddy Couples won some big golf tournament many, many years ago. He was being interviewed afterward with his wife by his side. The journalist talking to him asked what he would remember most about this big day. He shot his wife a sideways glance, and with as much cockiness as I guess a man could muster, said only, with a wink into the camera, “Tonight.”

I bet Peyton’s thinking the same thing right about now.

Ann Althouse Likes Me

Saturday, February 3rd, 2007

I rarely comment on other blogs at all, but last night I couldn’t resist at one of my favorites, Ann Althouse.

Lo and behold, she got a kick out of it and updated her post to include my comment.

Check it out if you want here.

My only comment there and she likes it!

I think I’ll get drunk tonight.