The World Wide Rant


Click Here


March 2007
February 2007
January 2007
December 2006
November 2006
October 2006
September 2006
August 2006
July 2006
June 2006
May 2006
April 2006
March 2006
February 2006
January 2006
December 2005
November 2005
October 2005
September 2005
August 2005
July 2005
June 2005
May 2005
April 2005
March 2005
February 2005
January 2005
December 2004
November 2004
October 2004
September 2004
August 2004
July 2004
June 2004
May 2004
April 2004
March 2004
February 2004
January 2004
December 2003
November 2003
October 2003
September 2003
August 2003
July 2003
June 2003
May 2003
April 2003
March 2003
February 2003
January 2003
December 2002
November 2002
October 2002
September 2002
August 2002
July 2002
May 2002
March 2002


Happy New Year!
Mo' Babies, Mo' Babies, Mo' Babies
Parenting Lesson 317
People Are People
Depends on Whom You ask
That New Car Smell
Absolut Adorable
All Doughnuts Go to Heaven
Fa Ra Ra Ra Ra

« November 2005 | Main | January 2006 »

December 31, 2005

Happy New Year!

I have a cold. I'm going to bed with a book and some NyQuil and my petty jealousy toward those of you who aren't ill.

Posted by Andy at 10:42 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack (0)

December 30, 2005

Mo' Babies, Mo' Babies, Mo' Babies

My mostly-net-but-met-once-in-real-life friend Kris May recently had her first child, a daughter, named Samantha.

I think we need to get Ewan Quinn, Preston Davis, the Obnoxiously Cute but Apparently Nameless Baby, and Samantha together for a right good piss-up.

Posted by Andy at 03:27 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack (0)

Parenting Lesson 317

When your two and a half year old daughter* is sick with the flu and you've given her cough syrup, Vicks VapoRub**, and enough hugs and "I love you"'s to float a battleship***, there's not much else you can do.

But I'm trying: staying in her room with her, sleeping on her floor wrapped in a comforter, soothing her when she stirs and thinking that I have to be up in three hours so maybe I'll just take Friday off and we can both sleep in and recuperate.

So, anyone else awake out there?

* I suspect this parenting lesson applies to boys as well. Talk to me in about 28 months.

** I'm told that while I was at work, after her mom put her down for a nap, the wee Fiona found her way into the VapoRub to solve her own breathing issues. How rubbing it into her hair and clothes helped, I'm not certain, but there you go.

*** I've no idea of the physics behind floating warships on things other than water (and, admittedly, I know shite all about that), but I have it on good authority that it works. No lie.

Posted by Andy at 03:01 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)

People Are People

Tonight, we gathered around the hearth that is our widescreen HDTV with digital 5:1 surround sound, myself, the wife, the in-laws, and our two children, one sleeping peacefully and one with the flu, to partake of the 2005 Michael Bay movie "The Island."

After the horror of his movie "Pearl Harbor," I had more or less written off Bay as a CGI-loving hack with an eye for talent akin to the wandering one of Sandy Duncan (and, hey, having one bad eye, I can make such jokes). However, I enjoyed "The Island" more than I had expected to, even if my expectations were due to the rather poor showing at the box office and the teaser trailers that made it look exactly like what it wasn't (e.g. absolute crap).

I've been a fan of Ewan McGregor since 1996's "Brassed Off," to the point of naming my son after him (just kidding, all coincidence, I promise), and - well - Scarlett Johansson is just mighty mighty hot, particularly in futuristic clingy garb that seems all the rage in sci-fi nocturnal emissionary fantasies. My wife would argue that Ewan is a visual treat as well, but, honestly, who the hell cares?

So, yeah, anyway - "The Island."

A fun, action-thriller, quasi-morality play movie with lots of things that explode and moments of humanity that you just know will be mucked up by someone or something.

Points of interest to no one other than myself:

Now, a point that might interest you (or not, you never can tell with you people and your finicky ways)... Dr. Merrick makes a comment that the clones "have no souls" and thus their treatment as less than human is justified.


It immediately took me back to a discussion I had with a very-right-leaning Christian friend a few years ago on the topic of human cloning, a conversation during which he asserted, without hesitation, that clones would have no souls.

In essence, because they didn't come about by "godly" ways, they would be denied the opportunity to find favor with God. Let's forget, for the moment, that God is a fairy-tale and far too many of you are compartmentally delusional in that regard.

It struck me as odd, because I have little doubt that a fully cloned human would be - well - fully human. Entitled to the rights we ascribe to our fellow man. No matter what mark they bore or what the law might say, they would be human beings, not chattel for abuse nor ripe for the harvest when one more Red Hook IPA does in my liver.

As a secular atheist with humanist leanings, I simply can't see it any other way.

It scares me to think that some of the God-fearing can and - when the day of human cloning surely arrives - will think that way, happily oppressing human beings who aren't privileged enough to be born of natural blood and cottage cheese and Apgar scores.

So, let me wrap up this somewhat aimless ramble:

That's all.

Tags: , , , , , , , , , and .

Posted by Andy at 02:19 AM | Comments (10) | TrackBack (0)

December 29, 2005

Depends on Whom You ask

I'm sorry, but are we bloggers just a bunch of pajama-clad yahoos or the potential downfall of all mankind as we know it?

Kathleen Parker, hack columnist extraordinaire, believes bloggers are the latter.

I remember a few years ago, before blogs took off, Ms. Parker had a forum on her now-defunct personal website. It was a fine, fine place for sycophantic nitwits to come out and praise every word of wisdom that dripped from her pen, probably in the hope she'd post some cheesecake shots in return (hey, could be worse, imagine if Ann Coulter posted topless pics - *urgle!*). So, yes, 'twas a fine forum.

So fine that it didn't take long for her detractors to find it, particularly after she wrote an ignorant anti-atheist piece in the aftermath of 9/11.

One can't help notice the silence of atheists these days. Suddenly ''God'' is everywhere, as ubiquitous as American flags, spreading -- as Dan Rather said in a spasm of simile-rapture to describe rumors following the Sept. 11 attacks -- ''like mildew in a damp basement.''

War has that effect. There are no atheists in foxholes, we've always known. There were none in the World Trade Center on Sept. 11, we can guess. And now there are none anywhere to be found. America today is about God and country, but then it always has been. We just lost track.

A number of atheists and secularists visited her little piece of the internet landscape, myself included, to correct her. For the most part, the feedback she received was polite, yet obviously stern, as should be expected when one willfully misrepresents a segment of the population.

Her response? Close down the forum because her website was a "family" place. Apparently families revolve around toeing the line of Ms. Parker's particular brand of God-fearing kookery.

I'm hardly shocked that the open nature of the blogosphere would strike fear into her crusty lil' heart. But, hey, maybe this time we'll get some cheesecake.

(via Wizbang)

Tags: , , .

Posted by Andy at 12:03 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack (0)

December 28, 2005

That New Car Smell

fusion1.jpgSo, nearly ten years after swearing I'd never buy an American car, I'm thinking of buying an American car. In particular, the 2006 Ford Fusion.

I've been driving a 1996 Mazda MX-6 for the last near decade, and she's held up pretty well considering the 135,000 miles on her, trips up and down and right to left on a US map, and the general beating that a 25-year-old single guy put on her in the first year of ownership (not to mention that the car was an idiot magnet, resulting in a few fender benders, and let's not forget the tap-dancing dog that scratched up the paint something nice).

Built on the Mazda6 platform, the Ford Fusion is a roomy, four-door sedan with plenty of power and features at a price that strikes me as right (read: affordable).

fusion2.jpgFully loaded, the MSRP on the Fusion comes in under $26,000, so invoice will be even lower, minus any incentives in the offer (although you then have to add back in title, tax, destination charges, random charges and funny looks from the dealer, forfeiture of first-born son, etc). All in all, the Ford Fusion seems like a good value (you know, assuming I'm wrong about the random charges and first-born forfeiture thing).

I considered the 2006 Hyundai Sonata, having read many good things about it, but the one I test drove continually had battery issues, refusing to start, and while it drove well and with gusto, it just felt ... cheap... inside. I could also share the tale of why my salesman was assigned to the internet division of the dealership, but that would be mean.

See, I'm a nice guy. A teddy bear. Hug me.

Other considerations have been the Honda Accord (reliable but boring), Toyota Camry (reliable but even more boring), Mazda6 (like a Ford Fusion, but tack on a few grand for the Mazda name), and the Mazda RX-8 (quickly shot down when the wife reminded me we have two children with two carseats and, no, we can't just strap them on top).

So, here I am: Ford Fusion. Anyone have one? Like them? Love them? Hate them?

Also, does anyone know if the PhatBox is compatible with the 6-disc in-dash CD player?

I'm planning on contacting my various financial institutions tomorrow and Friday for loan quotes, aiming to make a purchase over the weekend (the Mazda has a new oil leak), so speak now or forever hold your peace.


(Images from the MSN Carpoint website)

Tags: , , , , .

Posted by Andy at 10:49 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)





LOVELAND - A man who works for a commercial tree trimming company was killed Wednesday when he fell into the chipper.
Given that my British in-laws are here, I'm almost inclined to make a macabre joke about falling into the "chippy" and ending up covered in a delightfully greasy deep-fried batter. But I won't.

So, um. Yeah. Ugh.

Posted by Andy at 10:45 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)

Absolut Adorable

The VodkaBaby has arrived.

Welcome Preston Davis Green to the world, won't you?

Blogger bashes just won't be the same now with all of us with our kids in tow. Of course, knowing us Rocky Mountain Bloggers, the kids are probably already naturals at bellying up to the bar, so maybe things won't change too much after all.

Posted by Andy at 06:02 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)

December 27, 2005

All Doughnuts Go to Heaven

Mr. Time-to-make-the-donuts has gone to the big Dunkin' Donuts in the sky, where archangels and other enforcers of God's law sit around drinking coffee that is never burnt, eating doughnuts that are delicious without being fattening, and yet still find a way to be the butt of jokes all across the Heavens.

Michael Vale, the actor best known for his portrayal of a sleepy-eyed Dunkin' Donuts baker who said "Time to make the doughnuts," has died. He was 83.

Vale died Saturday in New York City of complications from diabetes, according to son-in law Rick Reil.

Vale's long-running character, "Fred the Baker," for the doughnut maker's ad campaign lasted 15 years until he retired in 1997.

Godspeed, Mr. Vale, and may the powdered sugars that be find you worthy of entrance into the chocolate-glazed goodness of the deep fryer that lies beyond.*

At least we still have Mr. Whipple. Unless, you know, my mentioning that fact has jinxed him.

* Wow, that was pretty lame. So sue me.

Posted by Andy at 10:23 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack (0)

December 25, 2005

Fa Ra Ra Ra Ra

CNN is reporting that Chinese food is becoming a popular Christmas dish:

It's not exactly chestnuts roasting on an open fire. But for many people, Moo Goo Gai Pan or maybe even the Pu Pu Platter are traditional dishes for Christmas.

On Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and throughout the holidays, Chinese restaurants do some of their briskest business of the year.

"As the years went on, we became busier and busier during the holidays," said Stanley Wong, whose family has owned the Kowloon restaurant in Saugus for more than a half century.

I think this would be an obvious and inescapable trend to anyone who has watched, with heartfelt joy, once or more each year, the neo-traditional classic movie "A Christmas Story."

Who can forget when the family ends up having Christmas dinner at the Chop Suey Palace, entertained by waiters singing "Deck the Harrs with Barrs of Horry, Fa Ra Ra Ra Ra, Ra Ra Ra Ra...?" A holiday masterpiece, that movie.

I can't wait to make the kids watch it every year as they grow older.

Of course, I probably won't mention the career path taken by Scott Schwartz, who portrayed Flick, in an oddly foreshadowing scene in which he puts his tongue on a pole. He doesn't much like it the first time, but then I didn't really like beer at first and we all know how that turned out.

Posted by Andy at 11:33 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Ho Ho Ho

Merry Christmas, happy holidays, or joyous weekend to all of you.

I'm off to eat too much food, drink too much drink, and then sleep too much sleep (not that there is such a thing as too much sleep).

Posted by Andy at 01:00 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

December 24, 2005

A Holiday Message

What the heck are you doing reading a blog today? You should be with friends and family, drinking good drink and eating good food (by the way, I made an outstanding pork loin roast stuffed with spinach and parmesan cheese last night).

So, go on, turn off that PC and be sociable. If you happen to be alone this holiday season, go out and meet new people. If you're alone and agoraphobic, uh, maybe just talk to the people on the magic picture box and pretend.

Whatever you do, happy holidays from Mr. and Mrs. WWR, World Wide Runts #1 and #2, and the World Wide Canines and Kitties.

Posted by Andy at 05:54 PM | Comments (6) | TrackBack (0)

First Comes Love, Then Comes Marriage

Then comes having your father murder you because he places the respect of his backwards society over the love of his own children:

MULTAN, Pakistan (AP) - A father angry that his eldest daughter married for love slit her throat as she slept, then killed three other daughters in a remote village in eastern Pakistan, police said Saturday.

Nazir Ahmad, a laborer in his 40s, feared the younger girls, aged 4 to 12, would follow in their 25-year-old sister's footsteps, police officer Shahzad Gul said.

Yes, indeed, some cultures are better than others. Once Western civilization shakes off its myths that, among other things, praise a god that drowns wee babies and endorses the keeping of virgins as spoils of war, we'll be even better.

Now, before you get your panties in a twist, I'm not saying that Western culture is anything like the Islamic culture in question; however, that's largely because our actions don't match the barbarity of our myths. Or, hell, who knows - maybe Lot was just offering up his daughters as party entertainment.

Posted by Andy at 12:36 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

December 22, 2005

Squawk! Goddidit! Squawk!

Ripped from today's science headlines:

Parrots mirror human mental disorders
No mention, though, if Polly has his own belief in intelligent design.

Posted by Andy at 09:31 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack (0)

I Always Feel Like Somebody's Watching Me

Well, I don't, but the Brits should, as an Orwellian wet dream is on the way in the UK:

Britain is to become the first country in the world where the movements of all vehicles on the roads are recorded. A new national surveillance system will hold the records for at least two years.

Using a network of cameras that can automatically read every passing number plate, the plan is to build a huge database of vehicle movements so that the police and security services can analyse any journey a driver has made over several years.

See, because it's for your own good. Mmm, yeah, just like that Big Brother, you know how I like it. Whisper sweet "trust us, we're the government" lines in my ear. Oh yeah!

But wait, there's more!

The new national surveillance network for tracking car journeys, which has taken more than 25 years to develop, is only the beginning of plans to monitor the movements of all British citizens. The Home Office Scientific Development Branch in Hertfordshire is already working on ways of automatically recognising human faces by computer, which many people would see as truly introducing the prospect of Orwellian street surveillance, where our every move is recorded and stored by machines.
Yup, I'm thinking the wife and I will keep living Stateside for the foreseeable future. You know, until we grow bored of that whole "privacy" thing.

Update: Not that any of you good Brits out there are doing anything wrong, else you'd not be bothered by all of this, because - really - privacy is terribly overrated, but reader Sean says you might want to invest in one or two of these European PhotoShield plates.

Posted by Andy at 09:27 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack (0)

December 21, 2005

Why Do I Bother, Part 432.97

Discussing science with some folks is like asking the Pope for sex advice.

Update: Although, I have my suspicions that the Pope would at least understand the basic mechanics involved. Not so for my foil.

Update 2: Go on, click through, read it all. Apparently when I present evidence, I don't; when I refuse to do all of this person's learning for them, I don't know what I'm talking about; and when I answer their rebuttal line for line, I'm an incoherent fool.

Up is down. Black is white. And ID is science. It's a topsy-turvy world!

Update 3: LaShawn Barber chimes in with a response that is equal parts ignorance and arrogance, with comments disabled as well, because if she allowed discussion she might actually learn something.

From her dishonest quote mining of Charles Darwin, to her intellectually bankrupt conflation of abiogenesis and evolution, through her idiotic claim that the eye is "irreducibly complex," and across an entire post full of similar lies and distortions all for the good of Baby Jesus, even invoking the tired "atheists just hate authority!" bullshit, LaShawn continues to prove that when her fundy religion turns on, her critical thought turns off, and she becomes a babbling idiot.

Update 4: Arguing with the anti-science crowd is rather like shooting fish in a barrel. Particularly dim fish. Ones that keep coming back for another cap in they asses, yo.

Update 5: I'm a little fishy! Shoot me! Shoot me!

Update 6: Go on, click through that link just above and marvel as the ID camp quote-mines and plagiarizes, demonstrating once again their complete lack of intellectual honesty. I AM SHOCKED!

Posted by Andy at 09:47 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack (0)

Top 10 Signs You're Positively Insane

Hmmm, I'm thinking the restraining order might be in the wrong direction:

Lawyers for David Letterman want a judge to quash a restraining order granted to a Santa Fe woman who contends the CBS late-night host used code words to show he wanted to marry her and train her as his co-host.

A state judge granted a temporary restraining order to Colleen Nestler, who alleged in a request filed last Thursday that Letterman has forced her to go bankrupt and caused her "mental cruelty" and "sleep deprivation" since May 1994.

Nestler requested that Letterman, who tapes his show in New York, stay at least 3 yards away and not "think of me, and release me from his mental harassment and hammering."

Uh huh huh, she said "hammering."

Wow, Ms. Nestler, you are what we in the mental health industry* call a big-freakin'-wack-job.

I wonder, is there - somewhere out there, somewhere in this crazy, crazy blogosphere - a woman who is utterly convinced that everytime I bash creationism I am secretly saying "C'mon, sweet momma, and do me right, right now."

And, most importantly, is she hot?

Update: Or rich? I'm not picky when it comes to stalker varietals.

* You know, if I were in the mental health industry. Which I'm not. However, I don't think you need a license to diagnose Ms. Nestler as a nutter.

Posted by Andy at 05:45 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack (0)

December 20, 2005

Judge John Jones, Poet

I own several books on the evolution / creationism debate, and have read many more courtesy of the magic of the public library, but I have to rank Judge John Jones' decimation of Intelligent Design in give or take 70 pages as one of my highest joys to read in this area.

Jones clearly and frankly demonstrates that Intelligent Design is not science, that its most vocal advocates are nothing but dishonest hucksters luring the stupid with shiny words and turns of phrase, and that, even if it were true, it has no place in the classroom.

A thing of goddamn beauty, that.

Some of my favorite excerpts below the fold:

Update: Science genius, Paul from Wizbang, has yet to comment.

Gimme gimme more more more »

Posted by Andy at 04:39 PM | Comments (8) | TrackBack (0)

Score: Intelligence 1 - Intelligent Design 0

No intelligent design nonsense for the school children of Pennsylvania:

"Intelligent design" cannot be mentioned in biology classes in a Pennsylvania public school district, a federal judge said Tuesday, ruling in one of the biggest courtroom clashes on evolution since the 1925 Scopes trial.

Dover Area School Board members violated the Constitution when they ordered that its biology curriculum must include the notion that life on Earth was produced by an unidentified intelligent cause, U.S. District Judge John E. Jones III said.

But, wait - it gets better!
Several members repeatedly lied to cover their motives even while professing religious beliefs, he said...

Said the judge: "It is ironic that several of these individuals, who so staunchly and proudly touted their religious convictions in public, would time and again lie to cover their tracks and disguise the real purpose behind the ID Policy."

I'm positively shocked! Why, I can't even begin to imagine these theocrat wanna-bes lying for the Lord!
Jones wrote that he wasn't saying the intelligent design concept shouldn't be studied and discussed, saying its advocates "have bona fide and deeply held beliefs which drive their scholarly endeavors."
Of course, that's the problem and the reason that ID is not science. The creationists decide on the result they want and selectively pick evidence they think supports it (while also lying about that which does not, e.g. transitional forms). They drive their *cough* "scholarly endeavors" on an agenda rather than facts and observation. Their beliefs inform their "research," rather than actual research informing their beliefs. They have it precisely backasswards.
But, he wrote, "our conclusion today is that it is unconstitutional to teach ID as an alternative to evolution in a public school science classroom."

Update: Small edits to the section on so-called ID research in order to properly characterize it. Thanks for the idea, Ron!

Update 2: More choice words from the judge are quoted over at In the Agora:

Those who disagree with our holding will likely mark it as the product of an activist judge. If so, they will have erred as this is manifestly not an activist Court. Rather, this case came to us as the result of the activism of an ill-informed faction on a school board, aided by a national public interest law firm eager to find a constitutional test case on ID, who in combination drove the Board to adopt an imprudent and ultimately unconstitutional policy. The breathtaking inanity of the Board's decision is evident when considered against the factual backdrop which has now been fully revealed through this trial.
Ouch! That's going to leave a mark*!

* Probably the mark of the beast! Oh no!

Posted by Andy at 10:44 AM | Comments (6) | TrackBack (0)

Still Alive

For the most part. Been a busy several days.

Friday, I made a lovely roast beef with red wine / ruby port sauce. Downside: good beef is really damned expensive. Upside: we had to drink a fair bit of red wine and ruby port before it was all over.

Saturday, I have absolutely no idea what we did. Stayed inside from the cold would be a guess.

Sunday, we watched "Michael Moore Hates America." Enjoyed it, as it was more focused on exposing the lies of the Twinkie King rather than bolstering the idiots in the fringes of the right-wing (in fact, it really never got into their nonsense) or exploiting the nimrods who make up the kooky left.

In short, most of us, Americans all, want the best for our country, even if we disagree on how to get there. Even if all of you rightwing and leftwing nutters are so off-base it isn't even funny.

Today, work. More of the same until Thursday.

Look for my thoughts on essays in C.S. Lewis' Mere Christianity soon.

God bless us everyone.

Posted by Andy at 12:35 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

December 15, 2005

The Apprentice

OK, one last reality television comment:

Randall, you're a glory-hogging shithead.

That is all.

P.S. My wife says "I just lost a whole lot of respect for Randall. I just think he's a selfish bastard now."

So there.

P.P.S. Yes, we should probably get hobbies.

OK, moving along.

Posted by Andy at 10:59 PM | Comments (13) | TrackBack (0)

Not Just for Scoundrels

On the drive to work this morning, I was listening to the radio news regarding today's elections in Iraq (which, from what I've heard and read, are going well with little eventful news about things going boom). The woman reading the news then mentioned that a number of Iraqis were showing up at the polls wrapped in the flag of their country.

That immediately struck me as a beautiful and powerful image, a symbol of a people that believes in its country despite the threat of violence, that has hope for its future, and that longs for its return to sovereignty. Today's election is one step closer to that vision.

At the same time, I also felt some shame with respect to some of my fellow Americans: those who don't turn out to vote because it's inconvenient, because one vote doesn't matter. We take the gift of our representative democracy for granted too often.

And we turn our flag into boxer shorts and bedsheets.

While the Iraqis learn from us, I think we could learn a thing or two from them.

Posted by Andy at 09:31 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)

She Sure Talks Funny

The wee Fiona said a new word yesterday. Normally, this wouldn't be a big deal for a two and a half year old, but my lass is a late talker, so every addition is welcome. I can't imagine how frustrating it must be to understand everything being said to you, and then not having the words to communicate your own thoughts properly. So, yes, a new word.

That word was "nose."

Except, it wasn't quite "nose" like I would say it. It was more like "nah-ose," which is as close I can get to approximating the accent with which it was said.

A British accent.

Oh lord.

I suppose it had to come to this, what with her mom being a limey and the two of them spending the better part of each day interacting while dear Dad works away at an office where everyone speaks normally (unless they speak Spanish, and had she come out with "nariz" instead of "nah-ose" I'd be having a small chat with the guys who mow our lawn).

Now that the British in-laws have arrived for the holidays, I suspect it's only going to get worse. Argh!

(note: seriously, I think the accent is darn cute)

Posted by Andy at 08:59 AM | Comments (7) | TrackBack (0)

December 13, 2005

The Amazing Race

Attention Weaver family: Jesus. Hates. You.

Granted, my opinions could be the victims of creative editing on the part of the show's producers, but it pleases me to watch sanctimonius, hypocritical Pharisees end up with winning precisely nothing.

Hooray for Jesus!

Another take: From Dummocrats:

Thank you God for abandoning the Weaver family in their hour of need. And thank you, Amazing Race producers, for editing out any footage you may have had of the Weaver family trying to do the final geography puzzle. Since the family thought that Lake Pontchartrain was one of the Great Lakes, I can't imagine how long it actually took them to differentiate between, say, Kansas & Colorado.
That's easy: Kansas is the state you suffer though to get to Colorado.

Posted by Andy at 11:16 PM | Comments (8) | TrackBack (0)

December 10, 2005

Richard Pryor Dead at 65

No details. Just saw it as "breaking news" at (yes, CNN, because I'm clearly a commie pinko lefty kook).

Posted by Andy at 03:28 PM | Comments (9) | TrackBack (0)

December 08, 2005

Assorted Stuff

Busy day here, and I'm feeling a tad under the weather as well, so some links to help you pass the time:

  • Iran's President doesn't believe in the Holocaust. It's unclear how the AP reporter writing the story feels about the topic:
    Historians say six million Jews were killed in the Nazi Holocaust.
    Right, right, all based on the word of a few historians rather than the evidence of murder camps, mass graves, and several million Jews that mysteriously vanished.

  • They've since corrected it, but I noticed that CNN, in the headline to this storyabout Ann Coulter, could not even quote her accurately, let alone use proper grammar.
    Conservative columnist Ann Coulter cut short a speech at the University of Connecticut amid boos and jeers, and decided to hold a question-and-answer session instead.

    "I love to engage in repartee with people who are stupider than I am," Coulter told the crowd of 2,600 Wednesday.

    The original headline (currently available here) read: "Ann Coulter to audience: You're stupider than me."

    I think Coulter's a histrionic shrew, but at least she understands the rules of English.

  • Wow, now that's creative Judaism:
    Machines will perform euthanasia on terminally ill patients in Israel under legislation devised not to offend Jewish law, which forbids people taking human life.

    A special timer will be fitted to a patient's respirator which will sound an alarm 12 hours before turning it off.

    Normally, carers would override the alarm and keep the respirator turned on but, if various stringent conditions are met, including the giving of consent by the patient or legal guardian, the alarm would not be overridden.

    Apparently afixing a special timer knowing it will kill the patient is somehow different from, say, giving an overdose knowing it will kill the patient. For some reason. They seem pretty sure of it.
    Similar timing devices, known as Sabbath clocks, are used in the homes of orthodox Jews so that light switches and electrical devices can be turned on during the Sabbath without offending religious strictures.
    You know, I think that's one of the most ridiculous things I have ever read. In a world full of suffering and mayhem, God worries about whether or not you turned on a reading lamp.

    People are nuts.

    Posted by Andy at 01:54 PM | Comments (6) | TrackBack (0)

    How Safe Are We?

    You tell me:

    Officials say a 50-year-old Egyptian man was stopped six days ago at New York's John F. Kennedy Airport. Sources say he had a suspicious pair of shoes that tested positive five times for the explosive substance TATP on the interior of his shoes between the heel and sole.

    Federal officials say the man's shoes are remarkably similar to those used by shoe bomber Richard Reid, who attempted to blow up an American Airlines jet over the Atlantic four years ago.

    The Egyptian man's destination was Des Moines, Iowa, sources say, and he claimed he was a student at Iowa State University in Ames.

    Strangely, after holding him overnight, airport security in New York released him. The FBI was notified after he was released. Now the FBI has put out a nationwide alert.

    Hey, at least the various agencies are talking - that's progress!

    Posted by Andy at 08:16 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)

    December 07, 2005

    Big Whoop

    Drudge's headline:

    1 Degree in Windy City
    Impressive. It's currently -5 degrees in Denver, and our expected high is 5 degrees, a full 13 degrees lower than the expected high in Chicago.

    Where's our screaming, Drudge-ified headline?

    Does the Mile High City matter not?


    Note to Denver Drivers this Morning: It's kind of ugly out there in spots. Remember, just because you have four-wheel drive doesn't mean you aren't four-wheel stupid.

    Posted by Andy at 07:48 AM | Comments (6) | TrackBack (0)

    December 06, 2005

    And We Are Merely Players

    Just caught Maureen Dowd on the repeat of last night's "Colbert Report" on Comedy Central, where she was promoting her new book, Are Men Necessary?.

    I'm happy to say that she's just as funny in real life as she is in the pages of the New York Times.

    She was also quite reserved and yielding in the interview, nothing like her printed-page persona, which might have been refreshing had she at least been funny.

    Update: Another blog (unlinked because it appears to be an ad revenue generating blog that has hijacked the material from a real blog) says:

    What we learned: Maureen flips her hair a lot. Stephen doesn't get Top Gun jokes.
    Well, yeah, but that's only because Maureen doesn't get Rikki-Tikki-Tavi references. Sorry, you probably needed to see the exchange.

    Posted by Andy at 11:29 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

    December 05, 2005

    One Word


    The latest ABBA compilation to hit the record stores will be its final record release, a former member of the Swedish group predicted, but fans' dream of seeing the pop quartet get back together would never come true.

    Posted by Andy at 06:17 PM | Comments (8) | TrackBack (0)

    December 02, 2005

    'Tis the Season...

    For misguided activism:

    We are excited to be launching the opportunity today...between now and Christmas we are asking you to send the ACLU direct "MerryChristmas" cards.
    This might make sense if the ACLU was out to put a stop to private expressions of religion; however, they're not. In fact, I'd be willing to bet that many people within the ACLU - gasp! eek! oh no! - celebrate Christmas at home.

    People are silly.

    Update: One minor correction for you. It turns out the ACLU is comprised solely of secular, religion-hating atheists who eat Christian children, especially on holidays. I apologize for leading you to think otherwise.

    (Hey, might as well let the religionuts keep their delusions).

    Posted by Andy at 10:36 PM | Comments (19) | TrackBack (0)

    December 01, 2005


    South Africa didn't get around to racial equality until the mid-1990s, some forty years after we here in the United States stumbled upon the idea, which makes it all the more depressing that they're so far ahead of us on other matters of equality:

    South Africa's highest court ruled Thursday that same-sex marriages enjoyed the same legal status as those between men and women, effectively making the nation one of just five worldwide that have removed legal barriers to gay and lesbian unions.
    Hey, if institutional bigotry can be defeated there, maybe the same can be done here.

    Posted by Andy at 06:30 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack (0)

    Some Things...

    ...we probably don't need to know about:

    An Enumclaw-area man has pleaded guilty to criminal trespass Tuesday in a case in which a Seattle man died having sex with a horse.

    On July 2, James Tait and a 45-year-old Seattle man went onto a neighbor's property to have sex with a horse, charging papers say. The Seattle man sustained a perforated colon and died from his injuries.

    Authorities say Tait helped run a nearby farm where people had sex with animals.

    Well. OK.


    Posted by Andy at 07:07 AM | Comments (8) | TrackBack (0)