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LAST 10 ENTRIES

It's Working?
Geek Moment
Creepin' Along
One Quick Post
Happy Birthday to Me
Trick Or Treat
France
As If You Need One
I Can Hear Them Now
What's Andy Up to Now?




« September 2004 | Main | November 2004 »



October 31, 2004

It's Working?

Seems to be. Maybe:

Osama bin Laden doesn't seem nearly so cocky in the unedited version of a videotape aired on al-Jazeera, complaining that the manhunt against him has hampered al Qaeda....

Officials said that in the 18-minute long tape — of which only six minutes were aired on the al-Jazeera Arab television network in the Middle East on Friday — bin Laden bemoans the recent democratic elections in Afghanistan and the lack of violence involved with it.

On the tape, bin Laden also says his terror organization has been hurt by the U.S. military's unrelenting manhunt for him and his cohorts on the Afghan-Pakistani border.

Of course, it could also be meant to lull us into a sense of complacency so that a massive, violent attack in the next thirty-something, pre-election hours goes off without a hitch.

Unfortunately, bin Laden has never struck me as one to modestly admit his weaknesses (or his love of the Olsen twins), so let's see what the next couple of days hold for the United States.

Posted by Andy at 09:25 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)




Geek Moment

Just watching Star Trek: Enterprise, and - hello! - the green women of Orion have changed.

For. The. Better.

Posted by Andy at 07:36 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)




Creepin' Along

Uh, is the blog really slow to load for anyone else out there? Just wondering if it's something to do with my connection or if it is a server issue I should ask Hosting Matters about.

Many thank yous, kind people.

P.S.: It also seems to not want to show when people have left some comments recently. They show up in my mailbox - I see them in the blog control panel - but the comments link shows nothin' on the main page. Hmmm.

Posted by Andy at 02:08 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)




One Quick Post

DNA evidence frees another innocent man.

And Ann Coulter is still an idiot.

Posted by Andy at 10:11 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)




Happy Birthday to Me

I'm 33.

Bleh. Phooey.

Posted by Andy at 10:07 AM | Comments (13) | TrackBack (0)




October 30, 2004

Trick Or Treat

Thanks to Dorkafork for dressing up my monkey*.

* Not nearly as arousing at it sounds.

Posted by Andy at 08:48 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack (0)




October 28, 2004

France

Once again doing its part to support terrorism.

Posted by Andy at 03:00 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)




As If You Need One

Here is another reason to drink:

Researchers say they may have found yet another health benefit conferred by red wine -- it seems to reduce the risk of lung cancer, at least in men.

The findings, published in the November issue of Thorax, echo previous research that found wine offers protection against some cancers.

Aside from the fact that I find that there is a journal called "Thorax" to be unsettling*, this is good news. Looks like it's once more to the wine fridge, boys!

* I just think it's a gross sounding word; it conjures up images of bloated insect bodies that crunch underfoot and other such nasties. Why are you backing away like that?

Posted by Andy at 02:59 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)




I Can Hear Them Now

"Oh, come now, evolution's not real, God was just practicing."

Posted by Andy at 08:26 AM | Comments (7) | TrackBack (0)




What's Andy Up to Now?

Reading

Last Breath: Cautionary Tales from the Limits of Human Endurance - Everything you ever wanted to know about how your body freaks the hell out when in life-or-death situations but were afraid to ask. The first bit on hypothermia, with such concepts as paradoxical stripping, was fascinating.

The Consciousness Plague - I gave up on this one not too far into it. Paul Levinson, from what I've read elsewhere, is supposedly a new star on the sci-fi scene; how that's possible given the contents of this book escapes me (but then, everyone has an off day).

The prose is agonizingly painful in spots, with sentences similar to "She gave me the lemonade. It was delicious." Also, if you're a fan of clumsily handled exposition, then this is the book for you. If Levinson had included blogs in his story, it might have gone something like this:

Character 1: I read that story on a blog last night.

Character 2: Ah, yes, blogs. Short for weblog, an internet-based medium for communicating ideas to others with relatively simple updates to a page on the World Wide Web. They range in content from the personal to the political to the technological. Some of them, such as Instapundit.com, get tens of thousands of readers every day. A potentially powerful force for fact-checking the mainstream media. Ah, blogs.

I shit you not. Avoid at all costs.

The Plot Against America: A Novel - just started this one, a fictional account of life in 1940s America under a Charles Lindberh presidency: it's bad news for our Jews.

Listening

"Living Things" - by Matthew Sweet. A hit-and-miss return to some of the sounds of the Girlfriend era. I owe his management folks a Blogcritics review of this album and "Kimi Ga Suki." Look for it in the next week.

Watching

The Day After Tomorrow. Good special effects. Really heavy-handed environmental evangelism tucked in between scenes of frozen New Yorkers and unrealistically pig-headed Vice Presidents with bad haircuts. I also doubt that, should half of our country freeze, we would ask Mexico for permission to move our people there; more likely, we'd remember the Alamo and annex the land that gave us tacos (and, on a more personal level, that gave me a lawn service).

Posted by Andy at 08:10 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)




A Vote for Bush is a Vote for Liberty?*

You've probably seen it by now, but the founder of the Libertarian party is endorsing Bush for President.

Thanks to reader** Eric Seymour for the pointer.

* So long as you overlook that whole steel tariff and gay marriage thing.

** And nemesis, secretly working on a mind-control weapon to make me a Christian.

Posted by Andy at 07:45 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack (0)




October 27, 2004

Dumbing Down in Dover

Argh. Brain. Shrinking.:

Last week, a majority [of the Dover Area School Board] mandated the teaching of intelligent design in science class. A vaguely worded curriculum change reads as follows: “Students will be made aware of gaps/problems in Darwin’s Theory and of other theories of evolution including, but not limited to intelligent design. Note: Origins of life will not be taught.”
Interesting. While the theory of evolution only addresses the diversity of life, intelligent design most certainly begins with the "origins of life." I've never heard of an ID-proponent claiming that some kind of amorphous, yet living, blob was here on Earth and then a greater intelligence came along and played DNA-jumble with it.

So, we're left with a board that wants to introduce their pet religious belief, when they clearly don't even understand it themselves. Lord help the state of education (and, for that matter, religion) in Delaware.

The board has lost two solid members who resigned in protest of the curriculum change.
Maybe there's some hope after all, if those two are any kind of example.
Teachers say they have no training in intelligent design instruction — which will necessitate costly seminars.
They need training in how to teach intelligent design? That's about as silly as asking someone for the recipe for ice. Here's all you need to know, dear Dover teachers:

Goddidit!

...or, for those of a more flashy bent:

Abracadabra!

Now, if only one could wave a wand and raise the collective IQ of the Dover area by 10 or 20 points.

Posted by Andy at 09:15 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack (0)




October 26, 2004

A Killer in our Midst

This is no good:

A woman's body was found Monday morning near a dumpster at a strip mall at 7530 N. Sheridan Blvd. in Westminster.

The woman was naked and her hands were cut off, police said.

I'm not a psychologist or a forensic scientist, but I'll play one on the blog* and say that, given the removal of the hands, this could be the work of a serial killer.

Of course, it might very well not be. I'll be checking all the door and window locks against just to be safe.

I know, I'm very helpful with my astute analyses of such situations.

* I have, however, read a book or two on the subject, and have also fantasized about Jill Hennessey wearing little more than a pair of latex examination gloves.**

** OK, maybe not even with the gloves, because that just sounds kind of weird.***

*** Unless that's your thing, in which case, more power to you, bub.

Posted by Andy at 12:00 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack (0)




October 25, 2004

Spinning Now

Tonight's randomly-selected music selection includes:

OK, so not terribly helpful, but - my - look at the space it takes up.

Posted by Andy at 11:06 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack (0)




Dinner is Served

Or was served, a little while ago, and I found it quite delightful.

I took this recipe for "Chicken with Rosemary and Lemon Salt" and this one for "Fennel-Roasted Vegetables," combined them into a single-pan dish (using a large, oven-safe skillet), subbing butterflied chicken breasts for a whole chicken, and an hour later, it was good eatin'.

Topped it all off with a 1999 Adelsheim Vineyards Oregon Pinot Noir.

Perhaps I should get around to starting a Recipes category, but - first - the wee Fiona is screaming and I must take her to her crib.

Posted by Andy at 08:43 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)




Helen's Hope

Just got word from an associate that all of the Arby's restaurants in the Denver-Boulder area are doing a fundraiser for Helen's Hope on October 28.

Helen's Hope is a fund-raising effort initiated and chaired by First Judicial District Attorney Dave Thomas and his wife, Shirley. They are joined by dedicated community leaders from throughout the metro-Denver area who are raising $1.2 million by January 2005.

The money will be used to expand safe residential opportunities for families victimized by domestic violence. The effort is named in honor of Helen, the sister of Shirley, who was murdered by her husband.

Twenty percent of your purchase price will be donated to the organization.

So, all five of my local readers, this Thursday, go to Arby's and order as much as you can possibly eat in one sitting (or two, take some home). Mean people suck, but abusers suck big giant donkey balls.

P.S. Arby's curly fries rock my world somethin' serious.

Posted by Andy at 08:51 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack (0)




Judy Blume? No! Baby Jeebus? Yes!

Some people have a strange idea of "appropriate content."

To Margaret Young, vice chairman of the Charles County Board of Education, the required reading lists in her Southern Maryland school system are teeming with "profanity and pornography, fornication and adultery."

So when the Board of Education recently compiled a list of goals and suggestions for improving the school system, Young said she supported the recommendation that calls for "removing anything [from reading lists] that provides a neutral or positive view of immorality or foul language."

But this proposal, and others that recommend distributing Bibles in schools, removing science books "biased towards evolution" and teaching sexual education classes focused exclusively on abstinence, has upset those who fear some board members are attempting to impose personal religious and moral beliefs on the public schools.

Too funny: in a move to rid the schools of books that contain perceived inappropriate content, they want to introduce the Bible instead. Geez, people, if you want a tome chock full of wanton violence against men, women, and children; incest; and even erotic poetry, look no further than the Good Book.

I often think that if more Christians actually read the Bible, there'd be a lot fewer Christians in the world.

Hey, maybe handing out Bibles in the schools isn't such a bad idea after all...

Posted by Andy at 08:43 AM | Comments (13) | TrackBack (0)




October 24, 2004

Lessons, from Me to You

A great way to learn about how major appliances work is to take one of yours apart when something on it has apparently broken.

A great way to learn about how electricity works is, remarkably, exactly the same.

P.S.: So sorry about the lack of blogging, but I've been ever so busy with spending money we don't have on new toys for our kitchen, as well as finally giving the house a good Spring cleaning (only six months late) in anticipation of guests this week.

Posted by Andy at 09:54 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack (0)




And then Noah and his sons carved Mt. Rushmore

So why exactly is this book (a Creationist tract claiming the Grand Canyon was carved by Noah's flood) being sold in the bookstore of the Grand Canyon National Park? Because God and the Federal government want it to be.
Next up: the Dinosaur National Park namechange to "Mythical Creatures That Couldn't Have Existed Because We're Only 6,000 Years Old Park".

Posted by Jon at 02:46 AM | Comments (6) | TrackBack (0)




October 21, 2004

Chicken, Meet Little

Little, meet Chicken.

GENEVA (Reuters) - The world is consuming some 20 percent more natural resources a year than the planet can produce, conservationist group WWF warned on Thursday...

"We are running up an ecological debt which we will not be able to pay off," Dr Claude Martin, director-general of WWF International, told a news conference.

The world has yet to end, despite the repeated assurances of its imminent demise over the last several decades from everyone from environuts to Jehovah's Witnesses. And - just like the religious kooks - each time that mankind finds a way to keep on keepin' on (hey, hey, let's hear it for science and market forces), the extreme environmental movement comes out with another warning, gnashing their teeth and wailing, "Yes, but this time we REALLY mean it!"

Yawn.

Posted by Andy at 01:01 PM | Comments (12) | TrackBack (0)




October 20, 2004

Political Party Least Likely to Be Asked to Speak at the Next Rocky Mountain Blogger Bash

These yahoos.

Poor, poor misguided fools.

Posted by Andy at 09:17 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack (0)




War Worries

If this is true, then George Bush is completely unfit to be Commander-in-Chief:

The founder of the U.S. Christian Coalition said Tuesday he told President George W. Bush before the invasion of Iraq that he should prepare Americans for the likelihood of casualties, but the president told him, "We're not going to have any casualties."
On the other hand, perhaps Robertson is just an attention-seeking religious wacko:
"I mean, the Lord told me it was going to be A, a disaster, and B, messy," Robertson said. "I warned him about casualties."
I know where I'm putting my money.

Posted by Andy at 08:29 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack (0)




October 19, 2004

Los Dumbasses

Well, what do you know, with regard to terror in Spain, I was right*:

It's not just about Iraq. As I said before, it's about being part of the wrong civilization. It's about not being a nation of Islamic zealots willing to blow themselves up to get some virgin tail. It's about thinking that the Alhambra is beautiful (and it is) but that you'd rather not have neo-Moors calling the peninsula home again anytime soon.
And, of course, the Spanish:
"The reason we've got terrorists on our doorstep is the war in Iraq, it's pretty clear," said Toni, a 40-year-old woman attending a demonstration in the suburb where up to six suspects in the Madrid train bombings blew themselves up at the weekend.
...were predictably wrong:
Also Tuesday, the interior minister said a radical Muslim cell broken up this week by police had been plotting to bomb the National Court, a hub of Spain's investigations of Islamic terrorism.
So much for appeasement, eh hombre?

* As were many other sensible bloggers, although Atrios, Oliver Willis, and Joshua Micah Marshall probably aren't included.

Posted by Andy at 08:12 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)




October 18, 2004

Like A Big Vitamin-Infused Enema to Stupidity

Is Oliver Willis intentionally dense*?

In response to prodding from Tony Pierce, Instapundit - for a change - lays his cards on the table. But it seems he still doesn't get it. You see, many folks around come clean about where their biases trend. For years now, Reynolds has - much like FOX News - acted as if he didn't have a dog in the fight when its pretty clear he does. And thats what annoys people.
Glenn acts like he doesn't "have a dog in the fight?" Granted, I do have reading skills slightly higher than that of a learning-disabled wombat who skipped out on reading class to engage in frottage with a splintery telephone pole, but it's been pretty clear to me that Glenn has (a) leaned to the right on a number of issues, (b) leaned to the left on some others, and (c) never made a secret of (a) or (b).

Kind of like yours truly, except with about a gazillion times the readership.

If that annoys you, perhaps you should spend less time engaing in frottage with splintery telephone poles and, instead, learn how to read**.

* Jeff Goldstein, no mention of Hostess snack cakes or "eatin' high on the hog."

** After that, back to the frottage, oh yeah! Who brought tweezers? These splinters smart!

Posted by Andy at 10:22 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)




Bow-Tied Bitching

Is it really a feud when only one of the parties is whining incessantly?

Update: There's a lot of jabs at Stewart going on in the blogosphere, and, sorry, I don't get it. Stewart has his own political views, and I know he injects them into his show, but - bottom line - it's still a comedic show. His views are one of many, and if it's a goddamn show on Comedy Central, out of so many more serious ones, that really makes you rethink your vote, then please - for the love of this great country of ours - stay at home and watch Crank Yankers on election day.

Posted by Andy at 10:06 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack (0)




Keep Out! No Gays Allowed!

You know, if it weren't that so many people irrationally followed religious dictates, this situation would have all the drama of a bunch of boys getting mad that a girl got into their treehouse.

As it stands though, I'm not sure that a group of people who believe they are earthly conduits to an invisible, magic, gay-hating sky faery should really be looked to as anything but mind-boggling entertainment, let alone societal role models.

Posted by Andy at 09:56 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)




Drinks On Me

Sorry, my mistake - that should read drinks for me. And from you.

Why? Because surely you'll be attending the latest and greatest Rocky Mountain Blogger Bash: RMBB 3.14159265358979...ad infinitum (at least to a million digits).

Depending upon who you are, you'll be celebrating, drowning your sorrows, or pondering why our ballots don't have a "None of the Above" box with some of the best and brightest bloggers that the Rocky Mountains can offer.

Oh, and beer. Lots of beer. Oodles of the stuff. Scads of it. All for me me me! Muwahahahaha!

So, come on out. November 6. Falling Rock Tap House in downtown Denver.

Posted by Andy at 09:50 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (1)




Couch Potato Overboard!

Whoops.

An Oregon man discovered earlier this month that his year-old Toshiba Corporation flat-screen TV was emitting an international distress signal picked up by a satellite, leading a search and rescue operation to his apartment in Corvallis, Oregon, 70 miles south of Portland.

The signal from Chris van Rossmann's TV was routed by satellite to the Air Force Rescue Center at Langley Air Base in Virginia.

On October 2, the 20 year-old college student was visited at his apartment in the small university town by a contingent of local police, civil air patrol and search and rescue personnel.

No mention if his television only sent the signal when he was viewing The WB.

Posted by Andy at 09:36 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (1)




Rich, Poor, Steal, Give

Problem:

The enormous wealth gap between white families and blacks and Hispanics grew larger after the most recent recession, a private analysis of government data finds.

White households had a median net worth of greater than $88,000 in 2002, 11 times more than Hispanics and more than 14 times that of blacks, the Pew Hispanic Center said in a study being released Monday.

Am I the only one imagining John Kerry as the Dunkin Donuts guy, walking out his door mumbling "Time to redistribute the wealth?"

OK, so I am. Fine.

Posted by Andy at 08:12 AM | Comments (6) | TrackBack (0)




October 17, 2004

Young Talent

History, or legend, seems to hold that the great composers displayed their propensity for musical arrangement at a young age. Well, my wee Fiona is no different.

Cut her some slack, she's only 17 months old - it's GENIUS!

Fiona's "Concerto in a Variety of Keys" was composed on a MIDI controller, hooked into our PC, using piano and cello soundfonts.

Posted by Andy at 09:59 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)




October 16, 2004

I don't even think you'd have to be gay...

to be in love with Jon Stewart. Did anybody see him on CROSSFIRE? Bloody brilliant (and boy has stones). They thought they'd get even for his snipes about them on his show but he quickly made it clear he was "not going to be your monkey" (obligatory monkey reference). I must admit that Tucker Carlson is really cute when he's majorly flustered and saying "butt boy".

Read the transcript or see the video (and buy his book- it's the one of the most hysterically and intelligently written things I've read since Confederacy of Dunces. (Viewers of The Daily Show are on average far more educated than Fox News viewers, incidentally.)

Posted by Jon at 04:15 PM | Comments (6) | TrackBack (0)




Paved with Good Intentions

The BBC asks a powerful question:

Why is Sarah Ferguson posing nude in high-heeled shoes?
Sadly, I'm at a bit of a loss for an answer that meets any rational explanation.
The Duchess of York is to pose for a charity book wearing only a pair of Jimmy Choo shoes and jewellery.

She has agreed to be among the famous faces appearing in the book Four Inches.

Money raised from sales will be donated to the Elton John Aids Foundation.

And just imagine what the four quid and twenty pence* raised will do to further the fight against AIDS.

* Not a large sum.

Posted by Andy at 12:23 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)




October 15, 2004

Changing the World

Just finished reading William Goldman's Which Lie Did I Tell? More Adventures from the Screen Trade. Enjoyable book, particularly if you're interested in - well - the screen trade.

Choice bit:

One quick example to be mentioned here -- Shakespeare in Love, art flick or Hollywood?

I might be tempted to say, my God, it's Shakespeare, how can it not be an art film? Plus those costumes, Dame Judi, all the other British accents. If ever there was an art film, doesn't it have to be this baby?

Not even close. Because what Shakespeare in Love tells us is that the love of a good woman makes everything wonderful. Well, I don't know about you, but I want to believe that. I want to have a shot at Gwyneth's sweet boobies, because I know they can change the world.

I don't know about the magical power of Ms. Paltrow's bosoms, but the book is full of such irreverent takes on Hollywood and screenwriting, and plenty of practical advice (to the aspiring screenwriter, at least).

Recommended. Ain't that 'bout all you need to know?

Posted by Andy at 11:53 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)




Universal Truths, First in a Series

Gentlemen, you will never be cool in Sansabelt slacks.

Remember: belts are good. So long as they match your shoes.

Oh, and don't forget that your socks should relate more to your pants than your shoes, but feel free to relate to all of your wardrobe, erring on the dark side of things.

In other words, no athletic socks with casual dress shoes.

No, I am not gay, so shut the hell up.

Posted by Andy at 11:38 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)




October 14, 2004

Fine Living Network

I love this show.

Who has the best job in the world? Meet Kevin Brauch, a.k.a. "The Thirsty Traveler," your host and guide to the world's greatest beer, wine and spirit-producing regions. Quench your thirst for knowledge and good times while also learning the customs and cuisines from the people who carry the traditions of these spirits.
Tonight's show was all about how Mexican feet can stamp out one smooth batch of Mezcal. Mmmm, beer Mezcal.

Posted by Andy at 10:17 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)




Dirty Tricks?

Dave Cullen takes us straight folks to task for the Cheney lesbian daughter debate debacle (known as CLD3 in some circles - at least ones comprised of, um, just me).

Posted by Andy at 10:10 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (1)




I'm So Sorry

... but what the hell?

Posted by Andy at 08:34 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)




What the FMA means to me

by Li'l Jonny Darby, age 454 months

Warning: (and I am completely serious)

While safe to look at from work, the following rant contains graphic descriptions of what is probably the most famous violent crime in American history. While I have chosen not to add links to the crime scene photographs and have not dwelt on gory details, if you are bothered by descriptions of senseless human suffering, do not read this.

Gimme gimme more more more »


Posted by Jon at 01:19 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (1)




October 13, 2004

Thank You, Late Night Television

Just shoot me now.

Please?

Posted by Andy at 11:47 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)




Liveblogging the Debate - Yes, Again.

Crankin' it up for you, the people and readers of the blogosphere.

Update: The wife made some tasty bacon and chicken with stir-fried veggies and rice noodles or something dish for dinner. Didn't much agree with me, tasty as it was. However, the bottle of Chardonnay is agreeing with me just fine.

Update 2: Kerry has a plan. Bush has results.

Update 3: Bush says we're doing everything we can to protect our borders and coastlines. If that's true, then God* help us.

Update 4: I love the way Bush just did a tonal quote-unquote on the word "exaggerations." Bee-yoo-ti-ful.

Update 5: Kerry says the solution to the healthcare issue in America is not the battle for tort reform, nor allowing the market to find ways to provide healthcare, but - rather - insuring we pay for equal access to equally shitty care. Well, amen to that, brother John.

Hey, Kerry has a plan. How 'bout them crabapples.

Update 7: OK, you got Bush on the pay-as-you-go thing. If there's one thing I loathe about the Bush administration (beyond the whole religious, gay-hating thing), it's the spend spend spend spend spend attitude. Kerry has got the Republicans on this one, and there's nothin' they can do about it.

Update 8: Gotta run upstairs for a beer as the wine well just ran dry. I suppose if I bought it by the box, it would last longer, but then there's also no upstairs in a doublewide.

Update 8a: Beer in hand. Let's get to it.

Update 9: OK, I like the Kerry speech on leveling the playing field in trade - at least so long as it doesn't mean increasing tariffs and being more protective, punishing our overall economy to save jobs that should otherwise go away (a la the Bush steel tariffs).

Update 10: Bush says, "The way my opponent talks is 'We're gonna spend the government's money,' no, it's YOUR money." Indeed.

Update 11 Don't talk to me about grants or Direct Loans. I have been intimately involved with the program and I have seen the ridiculous sums of money, to the tune of BILLIONS of dollars a year, that our government has spent on the program - large sums of it literally thrown away on bad risks in the late 90s.

An example - Student A gets four years worth of loans for beauty school to the tune of $35,000. Student A comes out of school and can't find a job except cutting hair at SuperCuts for $7/hour. Student A is about to default on the loan payment, so applies for a FastTrack consolidation through Direct Loans. Student A chooses the 25 year payment plan for the loan. If, at the end of 25 years, Student A cannot pay off the loan, it is treated as taxable income.

So, now the burden has passed from the Direct Loan program to the IRS - but the burden of the bad risk rests on the United States government, and - by default - on the United States taxpayer.

Quite the system, that.

Update 12: Shameless ping to Zomby. Priceless quote:

Affordable, accessible, cheap health care--I'll give you all of those things. Magic money fairy, magic money fairy, magic money fairy.
Update 13: Got distracted pinging Zomby. Must pay attention.

Update 14: No mention of monkeys. Yet. But it's coming. I can feel it in my bones.

Update 15: "We've got to have healthcare for all Americans." Riddle me this, Kerry - define the word "healthcare." Is it liver transplants for alcoholics? Lung transplants for chain smokers? Massive life-saving efforts for drug addicts who overdose? Sorry, I don't think I ought to pay for any of the above.

Update 16: Keep a high co-pay? Sorry, dude, but $15 ain't a lot.

Update 17: My solution to Social Security is simple and elegant. GIVE ME MY MONEY BACK.

Update 18: I think my liveblogging was better when I was just making stuff up.

Update 19: Who love the monkey? I love the monkey.

Update 20: No, George, our borders are still more porous than a sieve; and, Mr. Kerry, iris-identification isn't going to do a bit of shit in the middle of the desert, you idiot!

Update 21: Yes, John, raise the minimum wage - tell the market to pay people more than their skills are worth. Watch as the market digests this new information and raises real wages and real prices by an appropriate amount, once again leaving these folks where they were before. The minimum wage is naught but a political tool for getting the votes of those too ignorant to know they are being played for fools.

Update 22: I'm sorry - did Bush just say he tried to raise the minimum wage? Good lord, I'm going to have to vote for a Libertarian at this rate.

Update 23: Steve Green says:

Another idea. Let's get some funny-ass Colorado bloggers in the same room together, four years from tonight. Jeff Goldstein, Andy of World Wide Rant, and maybe myself. Hire a typist to do a transcript. And do Mystery Science Theater 3000-inspired debate coverage.
I'm all over that, but four years is a damn long time.

Can't we just get shitty every once in a while and pick on whomever is in office? I say yes.

Update 24: Kerry says:

I'm a hunter.
I'm a gun-owner.
I'm a midnight toker...
OK, maybe not. Piss off, you.

Update 25: So, am I the only one who is watching this thing naked? Surely not.

C'mon, fess up.

Update 26: Nary a mention of monkeys. This is tragic.

Update 27: Bush says "I never want to impose my religion on someone else..." - he left out the part about "...but I'll do it anyway, 'cause I can. Hyuck, hyuck. Durn homos"

Update 28: No, John, we don't ALL measure things on the words of the BIBLE. Jesus H. Christ on a Pogo Stick, could this turn any more sickeningly and superficially religious? Such pandering, particularly from Kerry, who - I imagine - is only slightly less religious than I am (and I'm an atheist for those of you not keeping score at home).

Update 29: This just in - Jesus loves Dubya.

Update 30: Sorry, John, if the only time we are "all Americans" is when we're under attack by the enemy, when thousands of our countrymen have been murdered while we all watched, then I will happily live with our current divisions if it saves the lives of any of us, regardless of the side on which we each may fall.

Update 31: Hey, wow, Michael J. Fox and some dude in the audience.

Update 32: Kerry said "idear?" What the hell?

Update 33: Kerry fought for our country with a passion... in some land... somewhere. He didn't say where. Anyone got any ideas? I'm stumped.

Update 34: You know, even though I'm an atheist, something just tugs at the ol' heart strings when someone says, "Thank you. Goodnight, and God bless the United States of America." Maybe it's the patriotic sense behind it, or the sense I project onto it, but either way, there you go.

No, God does not exist, so get over it.

Update 35: Phone rang. Friend's kid is really sick. Missed the rest of the debate. Please send positive vibes to our friends though.

-----------

I'd trackback to Steve's liveblog post, but this will have to do.

* Figure of speech.

Posted by Andy at 08:06 PM | Comments (9) | TrackBack (1)




Hey Colorado Voters

Given the voter fraud that Denver's 9News has uncovered in the last couple of weeks, you might want to validate your voter registration information to ensure it has not been altered.

You can do so by visiting Fair Vote Colorado.

Posted by Andy at 08:40 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)




October 12, 2004

I Do Not Think It Means What You Think It Means

Yet more evidence that Alan Keyes is one confused wacko:

Nonetheless, Mr Keyes is confident his message will prevail.

"I think it's perfectly clear if you ask people are you going to vote against God or for the Democratic party they will stand with God," he says.

So, the choices are (a) vote against God or (b) vote for the Democratic party. Thus, voting for Republicans - that is, for Mr. Keyes - is voting against God.

Sounds like even Alan has given up on his own sorry campaign.

Posted by Andy at 10:08 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)




The Horror! Oh, The Horror!

In today's installment of Our Society Has Strange Priorities:

The Federal Communications Commission is said to be preparing to levy a fine of $1 million or more against Fox Broadcasting Co. and its affiliates for running afoul of indecency regulations in April 2003 with an episode of the reality show "Married by America," sources said.

...sources said the content in question involved lascivious banter among "Married" contestants and a segment that involved contestants licking whipped cream off each other's bodies.

Meanwhile, showing people punching, biting, slapping, stabbing, and shooting one another garnered a collective yawn from the American people. Televised lying, cheating, and stealing didn't even register.

In a related story, the FCC said they were more than happy to babysit the American people lest they end up psychologically scarred from seeing a naked boobie or two or four.

Mmmm, boobies.*

* As always, this comment made for our pal Zombyboy, and to offend the all-too-easily offended. Boobies boobies boobies.

Posted by Andy at 12:37 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)




October 11, 2004

Colorado, The Next Florida?

Part 2:

9News has documented 719 cases of potentially fraudulent forms at county election offices across the metro-area that show fraudulent names, addresses, social security numbers or dates of birth in Denver, Douglas, Adams, Boulder and Lake counties. Information from other counties is still coming in. Some voter registration application forms are completely bogus. Others belong to legitimate voters, who have had one or two facts changed that could affect their registration when they show up at the polls November 2nd.
Well, that's just fantastic.

Posted by Andy at 10:09 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)




Sweet Land of Liberty

Yeah, whatever.

RIYADH, Saudi Arabia — Women may neither vote nor run in Saudi Arabia's first nationwide elections, the government announced Monday, dashing hopes of progressive Saudis and easing fears among conservatives that the kingdom is moving too fast on reforms.
Hell, their fundamentalist Islamic kookery is several hundred years behind the watered-down, do-as-I-say-not-as-I-do, not-so-murderous-except-in-rare-cases-of-gays-and-abortion-clinics, a la carte version of Christianity we enjoy here in the West, so perhaps it's not so bad that their view of women and voting is only off by 84 years.

Progress, baby, progress.

Posted by Andy at 08:43 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)




we'll still call you Superman

Even if you're not alive and well and we can't hold your hand.

Most celebrity deaths don't bother me- I liked/disliked/was neutral to X's movies, but I didn't know him/her, so... meh.

But this one did. I so wanted him to walk again. Major heart goes out to his family and to Robin Williams.

Posted by Jon at 12:04 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack (0)




October 10, 2004

Colorado Campaign Crap, Part II

Just saw a newish Pete Coors ad, part of which tries to paint Ken Salazar as a bad, bad man for trying to let go of 200 people right before Christmas. I know, the horror, how dare he wreck their Christmas holidays with some sort of a business decision!

Why, yes, it would be much better to let them go spend hundreds of dollars on Christmas presents for family and friends, only to let them go come January 1. Now, not only do they not have jobs - they also have credit card bills they can't pay, and money that could have gone to keep their house is now sitting under some nephew's Christmas tree.

Sorry, Coors campaign, but letting people go before the holidays, while emotionally painful, makes fiscal sense for all involved. Of course, that little segment wasn't meant to apply to a person's ability to reason, now was it?

Posted by Andy at 06:22 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack (0)




Colorado

...the next Florida?

With less than a month until Election Day, Colorado's registration rolls include as many as 6,000 felons who should be ineligible to vote.

Election officials have failed to prevent state prisoners and parolees from registering or casting ballots. Records show felons have voted as recently as the August primary, despite a law forbidding it.

Whoops.

Update: OK, now we're really off to lunch.

Posted by Andy at 12:02 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)




Blogging to Resume Later

We're off to our weekly church services.

Correction: We're off to lunch.

Posted by Andy at 11:56 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)




October 09, 2004

Squatter's Rights

Still guestblogging here and there over at Protein Wisdom for the next day or so, with a bunch of other folks of ill repute.

Now, many of you have e-mailed to ask thought to yourself, "How do I score a sweet gig like that?"

Well, dear friends, the answer is simple:

Photographic evidence of Jeff and a random assortment of barnyard fowl and a liter of WD-40.
Which means that the WD-40 is in the photos, not that I somehow used it on Jeff. Honest.

Don't be nasty.

Posted by Andy at 11:36 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)




Dear Food Network

Why are you and Emeril incorrectly stating that water boils at 212F on your latest commercial? That might very well be true down by the sea, but here in the north Denver metro area, it boils at 201-202F. Get it right!

Yes, it's the little things that annoy me most.

Posted by Andy at 05:26 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (1)




Coors / Salazar Debate

Colorado folks who are interested can catch the Coors / Salazar debate here. It begins at 9:22 into the video stream.

Also, 9News will carry it tonight at 6pm.

Posted by Andy at 05:23 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)




We Just (Finally) Beat the Hell Out of You

Well, it's about time.

Posted by Andy at 05:14 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)




A Bright Spot in a Sad Story

Maybe there's some hope for some of these people yet.

Murdered British hostage Ken Bigley tried to flee from his captors shortly before his death, according to reports.

Mr Bigley is thought to have escaped for around half an hour, with the help of one of his captors.

Of course, until they decide to lay down arms, reject the madness of murdering in the name of Islamic fundamentalism, and work toward a peaceful, stable, and secure Iraq, we should keep blowing the hell out of them every chance we get.

Posted by Andy at 05:05 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)




October 07, 2004

The Eye of the Beholder

Instapundit says:

JAMES LILEKS is photoblogging, and, as usual, his efforts are far more profound than mine.
Hmmm, perhaps it's just me, but I'll take photos of blonde co-eds over power lines and political lunacy any ol' day.

Don't worry, Lileks, we still love you*.

* We often get e-mail and phone calls from him, begging us not to leave, to just give him one more chance, because he didn't really mean all those things he said in the heat of an argument. For some reason, we always go back. Love is a battlefield**.

** Heartache to heartache, we stand. No promises. No demands.

Posted by Andy at 08:40 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack (0)




October 06, 2004

Notice

In case posting seems light here over the next few days, you're officially on notice that I (and several others) will be partying over at Protein Wisdom while Jeff is away. We'll be trashing the place, gettin' all kinds of sloppy drunk, and having intimate encounters* on surfaces normally reserved for eating or food preparation.

Or whatever.

So, uh, yeah - that's where I'll be, to some degree.

* Some of them with llamas or gnus, from what I know of these other folks.

Posted by Andy at 08:46 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)




Ted Nugent

Spelling champ, grammarian, public asshat.

Posted by Andy at 09:21 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)




October 05, 2004

In the News

No point, really, but I think our very own Adele Arakawa is an attractive woman, who doesn't look her 46 years.

Just so you know.

Also, she'll be moderating a debate between Coors and Salazar, if what I just heard is correct. I did not, however, hear the words "bikini" or "oil," so stay tuned as you see fit. Not that I want to see Coors or Salazar in oiled up bikinis, but Adele...

...uh, so, anyway.

Nope, no point. I blame the wine.

Go on, drink up.

Posted by Andy at 11:08 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)




See Ya, Rodney

A little respect.

Posted by Andy at 10:31 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)




Quotables

While in the other room, playing with the new VoIP softphone, I swear I overheard the following from last week's episode of "The Apprentice:"

"Are you the meat vendor?"
No comment. But do you take deliveries in the rear?

OK, that was beyond even me. Move to strike.

Posted by Andy at 10:23 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)




One Nation, Indivisible

Article VI, Clause 3: The Senators and Representatives before mentioned, and the Members of the several State Legislatures, and all executive and judicial Officers, both of the United States and of the several States, shall be bound by Oath or Affirmation, to support this Constitution; but no religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States.Unless, that is, you call Estes Park home.

Gimme gimme more more more »


Posted by Andy at 09:07 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack (1)




Liveblogging the Veeps

And away we go...

Update: Sitting. Nice change. More like they're in my home, probably drinking all my liquor (or, in the case of John Edwards, a Shirley Temple perhaps).

Update 2: I prefer beer or wine myself.

Update 3: I'm sorry, what was the question?

Update 4: Cleveland is a wonderful city, except for that whole "poor people" thing. Damn dirty beggars.

Update 5: What's with Edwards and the "Clinton thumb pointing?"

Update 6: I don't much miss Southern accents. Well, I do when they're attached to hot sorority chicks on the University of Alabama campus in their ever-so-nicely-fitting shorts, but it's a whole 'nother ballgame when it's John Edwards.

Update 7: Hmmm, is this the first VP debate in which the incumbent is a euphemism for male genitals and the challenger is somewhere you pee*? Questions, questions.

Update 8: Pause for more wine.

Update 9: Kerry and Edwards trying to have it both ways? Not something I want to picture. But, if that's your thing, you go right ahead.

Update 10: Cheney has adopted the compassionate hand-clasp. Nice touch.

Update 11: Something about 54-40 or Fight... or fifty percent of something. Or whatever. Hope it wasn't important. Are we going to invade Canada or something? They have DOOR-TO-DOOR BEER DELIVERY! Woowoo!

Update 12: No one has mentioned monkeys. This really chaps my hide.

Updayte12a: So does spanking. Mmmm, spanking.

Update 13: The Democrats have a healthcare plan. Time to put a lock on my wallet. Or hide it. Maybe I can outsource my wallet.

Update 14: Cheney just demonstrated he doesn't understand "structural unemployment." Well, I'm sure he does, but saying "Hey, some folks will always be out of work for a period of time" doesn't sell a whole lot of cookies.

Update 15: Did Cheney just allude to the Gettysburg Address with his "now we find ourselves..." line? I think he did. Nice touch. Probably too subtle for most of the populace though.

Update 16: Cheney has a big ol' melon head.

Update 17: More wine. Please hold.

Update 18: Ah, hell, it's over. OK, move along.

Update 19: Looks like Zombyboy is wingin' it again with his debate coverage. Has the man no shame?

* And poop.

Posted by Andy at 08:52 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack (4)




Dude

She is, like, so punk rawk!

Kind of makes you want to vomit, doesn't it?

Posted by Andy at 07:04 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)




DebateGate III

Nothing new to add; I just happen to believe that, as with interior decorating*, odd numbers create a harmonious balance. I'd also invoke some Feng Shui babble, but we all know that's a big ol' load of poop.

* No, I am not gay. And, even if I were, I probably wouldn't be interested in you.

Posted by Andy at 08:15 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)




October 04, 2004

DebateGate II

Let's just hope that the Democrats don't get a peek at Bush's notes or he's finished!

(ed: do we really have a "ninja bom?" - that'd be cool)

Posted by Andy at 03:55 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)




DebateGate

My thoughts, as originally stated at Vodkapundit's site:

You know, when tin-foiled frothing from the right begins to match that of the left, I find myself compelled to just vote a straight-party Libertarian ticket.

And that says a lot, because, you know, those guys are fucking nuts*.

* At least their candidates are, anyway.

Now, don't get me wrong - if he did violate the rules, please, point it out. Make sure it doesn't happen again. Power to the people and rah-rah-rah.

However, if you decide to jump on the conspiracy train and rant about how Kerry lies, cheats, and steals - about how each and every Democrat is a criminal or terrorist just waiting to be caught - or any other bit of postively absurd partisan nonsense - then you're an idiot wasting valuable oxygen that the rest of humanity could put to better use.

With all that is going on in the world right now, with all of the action our soldiers are seeing, with all of the innocent lives being lost in this important war, it's clear to me that some folks can't see the forest for that little, tiny sapling sprouting up just over to the left.

Posted by Andy at 02:46 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)




Time Flies

Hey, hey, hey, seven years ago today - October 4, 1997 - Mrs. World Wide Rant and I tied the knot, for better and for worse, richer and poorer, etc.

And you know what that means, don't you?

That's right, somebody is gettin' lucky tonight!

Not me, of course, because - come on - we've been married for seven years and have a kid, but surely somebody out there will score.

Whoever you are, I salute you.

Posted by Andy at 09:45 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack (3)




October 02, 2004

Hey, How About That Crimson Tide?

Just shut the hell up, would ya?

You know, unless there's an unexpected change in their fortunes against South Carolina.

Update: So, who do you think will be coaching Alabama next year?

Posted by Andy at 07:29 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack (1)




October 01, 2004

Colorado Campaign Crap

Those of you in the great state of Colorado might have seen the new ad that Senate candidate Ken Salazar has put out, one in which the Salazar campaign laments that Pete Coors is out of touch with the middle class. As evidence, they roll a clip of Coors giving a speech and saying "I don't know what a common man is."

This might have been pretty damning stuff, except for the facts that (a) it would have been a ludicrous thing to say by itself and (b) the editing was so choppy and piss-poor that only a blind, deaf, and dim-witted MoveOn volunteer* would have found it convincing.

So, did Coors really say that he doesn't know what a common man is? Yes he did. But...

Mr. Coors made the remark at a League of Women Voters debate, but then continued with, "A common man is somebody who lives in this country that works hard to provide jobs for others, who works either providing for others or working for someone else. I've done both."
In other words, a common man is pretty much all of us. Yeah, Mr. Salazar, that view of Pete's sure is a problem.

I'm not supportive of all of Coors' positions, but sleazy tactics like the one pulled by the Salazar camp have all but guaranteed the crappy-beer magnate will get my vote.

The ad works, but not like Ken hoped. Dumbass.

* I do realize that "dim-witted" and "MoveOn volunteer" are a bit redundant.

Posted by Andy at 06:22 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack (2)




Boobies!

...and all for a very good cause.

Posted by Andy at 09:34 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)






MONKEY BUSINESS








THE BLOGROLL