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October 31, 2006

Motivate The Base

We are a nation at war, facing threats at home and abroad.

Maybe someone should tell the President.

President Bush has for months cast the midterm elections as a choice about just two issues: taxes and terrorism. Now, with polls predicting bleak results for Republicans, he is trying to fire up his party by decrying gay marriage.

"For decades, activist judges have tried to redefine America by court order," Bush said Monday. "Just this last week in New Jersey, another activist court issued a ruling that raises doubt about the institution of marriage. We believe marriage is a union between a man and a woman, and should be defended."

We have thousands of our servicemen and -women overseas, fighting a war that we may not be able to win thanks to Bush's adoration of Can-Do-No-Wrong-Rumsfeld.

We have tens of thousands of dead Iraqis, whose deaths will be for naught if we do not win.

We have a madman in Tehran rushing to build the bomb, speaking of the end of Israel and the defeat of the West.

We have a mad midget in Pyongyang who, despite our efforts, seems to already have a bomb. Even a small nuke kills a lot of people.

We have a worldwide association of Arab-trained terrorists and European-grown extremist Muslims looking to kill each of us when given the opportunity.

And what brings Republicans to their feet? What stirs President Bush's base to get out to the polls?

Gay people in love*.

I've already voted, and I don't regret one bit filling in a few ovals for Democrats. If the Democrats don't get out to vote, then they have no one to blame but themselves (although I suspect they'll more than likely whine that someone stole the election).

* Not to be confused with Loverboy's "Hot Girls in Love," although I think a slightly altered remake might be in order as a PR move for gay marriage.