May 16, 2006

American Idol Live Recap

OK, here we go, once again:

Did Elliot sing? Guess I missed it while unloading the car.

Katharine McPhee: looks absolutely stunning, top to bottom, yabos to - uh - bottom. Randy and Paula are drug-riddled idiots, obviously, criticizing Katharine for her song choice when she didn't even choose the goddamn song. Simon was right on this one.

Taylor Hicks... well, I kind of missed this one as the wee Fiona was shakin' it in front of the screen and wanted to dance with her daddy. So, no comment. Sounded good I s'pose.

Elliott Yamin... well, ok, kind of missed that one too as Fiona insisted I dance with her once again (when the music kicked in, the wee Fi said "Ohhhhhhh...." and dragged me to the dance floor).

Crouching Katherine, hidden boobies.... I like it. I'd like it better if she were in a dress with a slit up to here, sitting atop a baby grand, and offering to buy me drinks. Sorry, but my good friend David is deaf if he thinks girl can't sing.

She makes me tingle in my special places.

Oooh, Taylor doing a Joe Cocker song... he better nail this. OK, not quite Cocker, but pretty damn good.

Elliott...it'd be swell if the band was as swingy loosey goosey as he is with the rhythm. Right now, it kind of feels like a shell of a song, a singer trying to bridge the gaps in his band.

Katharine, looking like a navy blue popsicle of tasty goodness, takes the stage. Sorry, I got distracted with impure thoughts. Sounded fine to me. I think the judges are on crack. Has Paula cried yet, or did that stop when Daughtry went home to sing for Fuel?

Taylor - doing "Try a Little Tenderness." I just don't think anyone will ever top the version from the movie "The Commitments." And that dude was like 16 with lungs going on 47. But, still, damn fine version.

I'm thinkin', hopin', but not prayin' (being the atheist) that my prediction from weeks ago will come true: Taylor and Katharine, in the finals, AND MAKING HIPSTER BEAUTIFUL BABIES!