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February 18, 2006

Take This Blog and Shove It

Come this time tomorrow, I won't need this stinkin' blog.

I'm going to be rich!

The Powerball jackpot has reached a high of $365 million -- making it the largest jackpot in U.S. lottery history.

OK, so I'll probably still be a middle class working man, but a boy can dream.

As a pre-emptive strike, I realize there are some of you out there who think you're clever and original when you say "the lottery is a tax on the stupid!" On its face, this is false, as a tax is an involuntary fee, and I don't recall anyone forcing me to throw $5 into the office lottery pool.

Also, I'm pretty smart. I've got the blog to prove it!

At best, for five bucks I've become obscenely rich - at worst, I've had a little fun daydreaming about what things would be like if they turned out for the best and that's about it, minus $5. Not much different really than plopping down five bucks for a tall beer, enjoying it for a little while, and then pissing it into a toilet without remorse.

So, unless you plan to wage your wee war of witticisms against every other purchase that leads to little or no tangible benefit for the buyer, please shut up as no one's interested.

Besides, tomorrow I'll be rich!

Update: Well, that was completely unexpected - looks like I still have to go to work.

A Powerball ticket sold in Nebraska has the winning numbers for the largest jackpot in the nation's history -- $365 million -- lottery officials said Sunday.

To the winner, let me just say congratulations and I hate you. In that friendly, jealous way that money so often inspires.