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January 27, 2006

My Aiken-Breakin' Heart

Oh no, say it ain't so: American Idol runner-up, Clay Aiken, just might be gay.

As first reported here on January 23rd, singer and former American Idol star Clay Aiken has been “outed” by a popular supermarket tabloid.

The new issue of the National Enquirer features a story about the 27-year-old singer’s tryst with 38-year-old former U.S. Army Ranger John Paulus.

This is positively - positively! - shocking. To someone. Somewhere. Someone who has never seen Clay walk, talk, or pose for the television camera. I guess.

Paulus, who was paid for his story, tells the Enquirer he met Aiken online just before Christmas....

The two allegedly set up a meeting at a North Carolina hotel and, according to Paulus, spent the night having unprotected sex with the singer....

"I hope he comes out of the closet because he'd be a great role model for the gay man."

Yes, nothing says "role model" like unprotected sex in a hotel with a near-stranger you met on the internet just days ago. We should all aspire to such great heights of responsible behavior.

According to the Enquirer, Paulus provided text messages that the two exchanged and passed a lie-detector test. The tabloid adds that Paulus saved a washcloth with Aiken’s DNA.

I'm betting it isn't a lock of hair stuck to that washcloth. Well, maybe, but more likely it's the glue holding it on.

The New York Daily News reported Friday that Paulus insisted a week ago that he wasn’t going to "sell out" Aiken. The paper quoted him as saying: "They couldn't pay me enough to have my pics on the supermarket stand. I am not the type of guy that would make life difficult for anyone."

Apparently it wasn't that hard to find his price.

But, wow, Clay Aiken is not the studly, tuna-diving hunkmeister we all imagined. I'm so disenchanted by celebrity now.

(thanks to Jon for the heads-up)

Tags: Clay Aiken, American Idol, and tell me something I didn't know.