October 07, 2005

Everything I Needed to Know I Learned From Oprah

For reasons inexplicable, my mother enjoys watching The Oprah Winfrey Show.

I have, much to my dismay, been required to sit in the same room while it is on. You see, my parents have dial-up internet and I have an inherent aversion to things from the technological stone age; however, two of their neighbors have a wireless broadband connection (both wide open with no security settings - not even a change to the admin password!). The downside is that I can only pick up the signals when I'm in the same room as the television.

So, yeah... Oprah.

Here's what I've learned:
From yesterday's show on racism, with a panel discussion involving the stars of the movie Crash, I learned that I will never - NEVER - fear a group of wealthy celebrities, be they black or white, walking toward me at night in an alley.

I have overcome my irrational fear of stinkin' rich people, and I owe it all to Oprah! Thanks!