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August 14, 2005

Would You Like Your Name in Lights?

Of course you would, but I can't help you there. However, if you're interested in being in a book (my friends need not apply as they will all make an appearance in my own novel when I get around to writing it), then these auctions might interest you...

First Amendment Project: Your Name in an Upcoming Book

Some of those participating:

Peter Straub

What he's offering:

"The name of a minor character who will appear in my next full-length work of fiction, which will probably be published in 2007. Bidders are asked to submit their own names only, preferably without middle name or initial, and should be advised that the fictional person who winds up bearing his or her name may be of dubious moral character."

Stephen King

What he's offering:

"One (and only one) character name in a novel called CELL, which is now in work and which will appear in either 2006 or 2007. Buyer should be aware that CELL is a violent piece of work, which comes complete with zombies set in motion by bad cell phone signals that destroy the human brain. Like cheap whiskey, it's very nasty and extremely satisfying. Character can be male or female, but a buyer who wants to die must in this case be female. In any case, I'll require physical description of auction winner, including any nickname (can be made up, I don't give a rip)."

Lemony Snicket

What he's offering:

"An utterance by Sunny Baudelaire in Book the Thirteenth. Pronunciation and/or spelling may be slightly 'mutilated.' An example of this is in The Grim Grotto when Sunny utters 'Bushcheney.' Target publication date is Fall 2006."

John Grisham

What he's offering:

"Your name or a name of your choosing will appear as a fictional character in my next novel. The character will be portrayed in a good light. My next novel should be published either in 2007 or 2008. The name you choose cannot be that of a real person other than yourself."

Neil Gaiman

What he's offering:

"My next novel will be called THE GRAVEYARD BOOK. It's a children's novel, and will be published, er, when it's published. Maybe in 2007 or failing that, 2008. It will have lots of gravestones in it. Your name, or the name of someone you love (who won't mind) can be on a gravestone."

Dave Eggers

What he's offering:

"The winner will be featured in a strange illustrated story I'm working on called The Journey of the Fishes Overland. The winner, or someone of her/his choosing, will be encountered by the traveling fish in question, as they travel over land. It could also be a family, a house, an address, whatever. I get to decide why the fishes see this person/place, and what's said by/to or done by/to the person/place. This story will be finished and published in the fall. The name/s have to be tasteful and be undisruptive to the narrative. I reserve the right to refuse using a name I find offensive."

And several more, all for a good cause (you know, defending that pesky First Amendment that liberals and conservatives alike would die to defend until it doesn't help their argument on whatever issue they happen to be discussing).

It's like those "your child's name in a book" advertisements, except that your name (probably) won't be printed in a font and type size completely different from the rest of the book. The one I had involved Snow White and the Seven Dwarves, and something about me and Dopey saving the day. No nudity. Rated G for all audiences.

(found over at Neil Gaiman's journal)