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August 09, 2005

More Quick Links

• A new study finds that sabertooth cats are cousins of modern cats but not direct ancestors. Well, duh, that's the way they were designed! Silly evolutionists and your fancy shmancy "DNA" talk!

• Shuttle Discovery is back on terra firma. Congratulations and welcome home. Now, let's get around to scrapping the Shuttle program for something a bit more modern.

• Singer Marc Cohn is probably regretting his latest concert in downtown Denver, given that a carjacker shot him in the head as he was leaving. The suspected gunman was arrested last night.

  What I really want to know is how the man had a gun downtown, given Denver's laws against concealed carry. Maybe Publicola can help us out.

• Corruption at the United Nations? I, for one, am shocked.

• Jackson jurors regret their not guilty decision. Oh, and they both have tell-all books coming out. All coincidence, I'm sure.

• Ah, the joys of parenting a toddler:

  He's discovered the joys of owning a penis. For the last few days he's been looking at his with intense interest and giggling. Today he asked if he could play with it. "Er, sure," I said, "just go to your room and play with it." "Okay," he said, and trotted off to his room. A few minutes later he came out. "I'm finished playing with my penis now," he said casually, and carried on playing cars.

  Yeah, I wonder how much fun those cars will be when God punishes him and makes him blind! Did you think about that, Mr. Tony?

• You may not know Jack, but Rae knows squat. Ah, the joys of having a penis.

That's enough for now. Busy day ahead, capped off by the magic words "happy hour."