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April 13, 2005

The Dumbing Down of America

Next stop: East Porter County, Indiana.

Concerned board members delayed the approval of biology textbooks for East Porter County Schools on Monday evening because the books contained only material on evolution and excluded other theories.

Asked to name one other scientific theory that should be included, the board members each cocked their head to the side and made the face that a dog makes when it hears something it doesn't understand.

"I personally believe that creationism" -- the belief in the literal interpretation of the Biblical story of creation -- "ought to be, I think that ought to be out there as something that's taught," board Vice President Tim Bucher said. "I think our students oughtta be aware of it."

Because, surely, religion is something that is never touched upon in church. Never the sort of thing that is pounded into a child's head nearly from the moment of birth so that when they are introduced to science and the real world, they can confidently stick their fingers in their ears and sing "Oh What a Friend We Have in Jesus."

"Not to dismiss other explanations for how the world works," Rogers [science consultant for the Indiana Department of Education] said, "but, within the realm of science, we would be doing students a bit of a disservice to not stick to the scientific part of science and get into other realms."

Oh, enough with the mollycoddling* of these yahoos!

"Not to dismiss other explanations?" What? Why the hell not? Why on Earth should we elevate ancient mythical storytelling to the level of science?

Hell, let's just package up Paul's "super-duper-scientific" posts from Wizbang and call them a biology textbook while we're at it.

I did it again, didn't I? Sorry 'bout that.

Anyway, if the religious right is going to fight so hard to get their myth into the classroom, then I am going to start a valiant crusade to get the Finnish Kalevala myth in there too, explaining how a growing movement of scientists are beginning to accept that, yes Virginia, the world was made from broken eggshells.

Hey, it's no crazier than that Garden of Eden nonsense.

* Yes, I conjugated the verb "mollycoddle" and I'll do it again if need be!