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April 07, 2005

More Papal Coinkydinks

They don't just stop with an eclipse. No sir!

• The Pope will be buried on April 8 - which just happens to be the birthday of GAUTAMA BUDDHA in the year 563! Of course, just like the Christians, the Buddhists have played around with dates and moved holidays and generally fudged things when it suited their needs, so there's no telling if it is really his birthday. But we know for sure it's the day of the Pope's burial and that counts for something!

• Also - on April 8, 1935, Congress voted to approve the Works Progress Administration, part of Roosevelt's "New Deal" program. By creating jobs for the unemployed, the WPA reached out a helping hand to the downtrodden and needy - just like the Pope!*

• On April 8, 1994, Nirvana's lead singer Kurt Cobain was found dead from a self-inflicted gunshot wound. He had been dead for three days. Three days is how long Jesus took to rise from the dead. And do you know who follows Jesus? That's right - the Pope!

  Spooky!

• On April 8, 1986, Clint Eastwood was elected Mayor of the city of Carmel, California. Carmel looks a lot like the word "caramel," which is particularly tasty when paired with milk chocolate. And do you know what they make from milk chocolate? Easter bunnies! And do you know who the Easter Bunny is hop-hop-hoppin' to see? Jesus! And do you know who loves Jesus and milk chocolate and fuzzy bunnies? That's right - the Pope!

• On April 8, 1899, Martha Place became the first woman to be executed in the electric chair. Do you know who was against the death penalty? Go on, guess. That's right - the Pope!

Yes, I do have some time to kill before going out to face rush hour. Why do you ask?

Update: Positive Liberty has some thoughts on the gullible.

* Please ignore all the gold and stuff around the Vatican. It's not like poor people can eat gold or something. Dummies.