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March 24, 2005

The World Wide Rant Guide to Being a Partisan Hack

As issues from the war in Iraq to the Schiavo right-to-die case surely inspire more and more of our young people to follow a path into politics, expressing their desire to help shape our nation to their own visions, the World Wide Rant Committee for Partisan Hackery has put together this helpful guide for them.

As time permits, new items will be added. Feel free to leave your own in the comments.

  1. When any court ruling does not go your way, scream "judicial activism" as loudly and often as you can.

    Sounds pretty, doesn't it?

    Go on, do it again.

  2. When a state court ruling does not go your way, petition the Congress to get involved. Private family matters are especially good times for this.

    Two weeks later, after all the hoopla is over, be sure to espouse the value of federalism and state's rights.

  3. Flip-flop freely. Vote for things before you vote against them.

    Almost half the nation will nod their heads as if what you said just made sense.

  4. The Constitution is sacred. Except for those Amendments you don't really like. From freedom of religion to the right to bear arms, trample on them every chance you get, saying "That's not what the Founding Fathers meant!"

    No one can ask them.

    Because they're dead.

  5. Small government is best.

    Unless it's something to do with baseball. Because baseball, by God, is as American as Mom, apple pie, and Chevrolet!

More to come. Maybe.

Submitted to the Beltway Traffic Jam, 'cause it'd be neat-o-spoleeto to break 1000 hits today. And because I like to share.

Posted by Andy at 09:16 AM





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