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March 14, 2005

God's Little Helper

The Man UpstairsTM keeps on working his voodoo magic in spooky ways. Today's installment comes from Georgia, where Ashley Smith, held hostage by courthouse-killer Brian Nichols, says the spirit of God was moving across the waters Buckhead, down the highway, and right into downtown Hotlanta.

I said, "Do you believe in miracles? Because if you don't believe in miracles -- you are here for a reason. You're here in my apartment for some reason. You got out of that courthouse with police everywhere, and you don't think that's a miracle? You don't think you're supposed to be sitting here right in front of me listening to me tell you, you know, your reason here?"

I said, "You know, your miracle could be that you need to -- you need to be caught for this. You need to go to prison and you need to share the word of God with them, with all the prisoners there."

Shooting a court reporter? 25 years to life.

Shooting a judge, deputy, and customs agent? Three consecutive life sentences.

Having Jesus tell you your reason for being via a self-help literature-lovin', Bible thumpin' woman you've kidnapped and tied up in a curtain? Priceless.

No offense to the mentally handicapped, but it takes a special level of retardation to think that your god wanted four people to die violent deaths just so you could give some down-and-out waste of skin a boost to his self-esteem.

With friends like god...

Update: Michele has similar thoughts.

Update 2: Interesting what people can read into things (see Crosblog's comment below or some of the comments at Michele's site) isn't it? I said nothing about the woman's actions, only her beliefs. I think it's great what she did - I just think her claims to pretty much being the Earthly hands of Jeebus are silly.

If she had claimed publicly that Binky the Magic Space Clown had guided her, I can almost guarantee that each and every one of you would be rolling your eyes at how nutty she is. But, oh, she said it was God, a being with no more evidence of its existence than Binky, and suddenly you want to defend her beliefs?

You're silly.

Update 3: If you think I'm bad, just read this or this. Oh, sure, but no one gives The Raving Atheist grief for mocking the periodic cognitive inadequacies of certain people. Feh.

Posted by Andy at 01:36 PM