March 14, 2005

God's Little Helper

The Man Upstairs^TM keeps on working his voodoo magic in spooky ways. Today's installment comes from Georgia, where Ashley Smith, held hostage by courthouse-killer Brian Nichols, says the spirit of God was moving across the waters Buckhead, down the highway, and right into downtown Hotlanta.

I said, "Do you believe in miracles? Because if you don't believe in miracles -- you are here for a reason. You're here in my apartment for some reason. You got out of that courthouse with police everywhere, and you don't think that's a miracle? You don't think you're supposed to be sitting here right in front of me listening to me tell you, you know, your reason here?"

I said, "You know, your miracle could be that you need to -- you need to be caught for this. You need to go to prison and you need to share the word of God with them, with all the prisoners there."

Shooting a judge, deputy, and customs agent? Three consecutive life sentences.

Having Jesus tell you your reason for being via a self-help literature-lovin', Bible thumpin' woman you've kidnapped and tied up in a curtain? Priceless.

No offense to the mentally handicapped, but it takes a special level of retardation to think that your god wanted four people to die violent deaths just so you could give some down-and-out waste of skin a boost to his self-esteem.

With friends like god...

Update: Michele has similar thoughts.

Update 2: Interesting what people can read into things (see Crosblog's comment below or some of the comments at Michele's site) isn't it? I said nothing about the woman's actions, only her beliefs. I think it's great what she did - I just think her claims to pretty much being the Earthly hands of Jeebus are silly.

If she had claimed publicly that Binky the Magic Space Clown had guided her, I can almost guarantee that each and every one of you would be rolling your eyes at how nutty she is. But, oh, she said it was God, a being with no more evidence of its existence than Binky, and suddenly you want to defend her beliefs?

You're silly.

Update 3: If you think I'm bad, just read this or this. Oh, sure, but no one gives The Raving Atheist grief for mocking the periodic cognitive inadequacies of certain people. Feh.