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March 01, 2005

Why 1000 Lawyers at the Bottom of the Sea is a Good Start

Exhibit A:

Teenagers in Orlando, Fla., are leaping between 80-foot high public parking garages in a new trend called "garage jumping," according to a Local 6 News investigation....

Tim Bargfrede told Local 6 News that he was following friends when he attempted to garage jump and did not make it to the other side. Bargfrede fell six stories and was knocked unconscious on impact....

D'Assaro [the dumbass kid's attorney] is filing a lawsuit against the city of Orlando and the private garage owner for making little effort to correct a potential deadly risk.

How the City of Orlando is supposed to correct the error of Tim Bargfrede being a complete fucking idiot is up for debate.

Update: Jeralyn Merritt, of Talk Left, says - according to unnamed sources - that she'd refuse to represent such a client if only I would spank her soundly on her firm, firm bottom.

Lots.

As always, I don't make this stuff up.