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November 18, 2004

The Fine Print (Redux)

Based on various comments, it seems like as good a time as any to redirect everyone's attention the rules of the blog. Here you go:

Pursuant to absolutely no law anywhere, the management of The World Wide Rant (hereafter, "the blog") has documented the following policies and procedures for the operation of the blog. The content below details what you may expect from the blog, and what the blog may expect from you, as conditions of continued use of the blog. Failure to abide by the policies and procedures below will probably not result in much aside from the mocking derision of the authors and regular readers.

Content of posts: Posts on the blog will vary in their subject matter. Some will amuse you. Some will offend you. Some will have you shake your head in agreement. Some will simply have you shaking your head.

Somewhat militant atheist small-L libertarians with a few neoconservative tendencies will probably feel most at home here. Those who (a) believe in God, (b) support either major political party dogmatically, (c) really really believe in God, (d) accept creationism or intelligent design as legitimate science, (e) think that more taxes are the answer to everything, (f) think that bigger guns are the answer to everything, (g) see every issue as black and white, (h) no shit, believe in God, and (i) are overly sensitive to any commentary on whatever their pet issue may be (and damn they need to thicken up their skin), will probably - at one time or another - be offended by something said on the blog.

Should you find yourself offended, please consider that this is due to one of two conditions - (1) it was intentional, and your offense makes us happier than a little dancing dwarf (or monkey, even), or (2) you have completely missed the point of the post and should probably re-read it before you hit "enter" on your comment and are then subjected to the aforementioned mocking derision.

Yes, even the cute monkey has been known to deride and mock as necessary.

Comment Policy: Comment all you like, but keep it relevant to the topic of the post. Random political statements, insults toward the management of the blog, etc. will be deleted, edited, altered, or responded to in whatever manner the management deems most appropriate for making you look silly. The management welcomes disagreement and debate, but not doodyheads. So, don't be a doodyhead.

While you're busy not being a doodyhead, the management asks that you include a valid e-mail address in your comment so that correspondence, should it be necessary, may occur - and that you consistently use a name that allows you to be identified between and within comment boxes. Of course, you need not use your real name, but the internet is full of people named "nobody" and "noone" and "half ass monkey," so be creative - and consistent.

Of course, if one really had the courage of their convictions they'd use their real name and stand behind their words. It's not like the management has death squads at their disposal, ruling the internet with an iron fist. But if they did, that would be pretty damn cool. However, the management promises only to use such power for good and not for punishing people who are e-chickens.

Trackbacks: If you want to Trackback to something you see here, please, feel free. However, when the management follows said Trackback to your post, the management would like to see a link to what has been written on the blog. Empty Trackbacks will first be brought to the attention of the offending party. Should that party add a link from their own site to the relevant post on the blog, the Trackback will be allowed to stand - after all, not everyone knows how Trackback should and does work. However, should said Trackback be present merely to mooch from the blog's (albeit limited) traffic, the management shall delete said Trackback and also make very nasty faces at their computer screens, with possible hand gestures to complement. This would also be a place where the death squads might be used if they were available.

The management reserves the right to edit, amend, delete, or just wing it when it comes to said policies and procedures. Thank you for your time and attention.

P.S. God does not exist.

P.P.S. The Trackback portion of this was inspired by Zombylicious.

Thanks once again for your time, attention, and undying love and admiration.

Smooches all around.

Posted by Andy at 03:43 PM