« Turning Japanese, I Think I'm Turning Japanese | Main | Uh, Hey Baby »

November 17, 2004

He'd Have Preferred a Burqa?

FCC Chairman Michael Powell is scratching out his Puritan eyes after seeing a woman's bare back during the opening of ABC's Monday Night Football earlier this week:

"I wonder if Walt Disney would be proud," said Michael Powell....

The opening, which has generated complaints to ABC and the FCC, featured actress Nicollette Sheridan in the locker room, supposedly dressed only in a white towel. She drops the towel and jumps into the arms of Philadelphia Eagles star Terrell Owens. Sheridan was shown only from behind and above the waist after dropping the towel.

Powell, continuing his support of America and its bizarre moral priorities, made no mention of the rampant violence to be found on primetime television, let alone the idea that the skin of a woman is more harmful to the national psyche than a bunch of grown men slamming the shit out of each other over a little, brown ball.

Rumor has it that he's waiting on getting letter #23 regarding the incident so he can fine ABC a ridiculous sum of money, a proper punishment befitting his role as national nanny.

He closed by saying, "And don't sit so close to the television; you'll ruin your eyes!"