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September 30, 2004

It's Late, But Here, Enjoy...

Steve links to the Bleat which links to this article:

And as for being a political stooge, unlike the bloggies, I don't give money to politicians...

Clever, now we're "bloggies." Hey, dipshit, how about do us the respect of calling us by the name we generally prefer - "bloggers."

Hee hee, if we can get that, we're one up on those damned geeky "Trekkies!"

As for not giving money to politicians... well, then can I call you an "idiot." You see, as a journalist, you're allowed to have opinions, thoughts, and desires. You're even allowed to express them as a private citizen with your own funds. However, when your job comes along, then you play by the rules (hard as you folks find it to do). Really, most of us can separate our personal and professional lives - why do journalists find it so difficult?

Do bloggers have the credentials of real journalists? No.

Uh, nor did they ever claim to have the same credentials. They only claim to fact-check your self-righteous, blowhard, and credentialed asses.

Bloggers are hobby hacks, the Internet version of the sad loners who used to listen to police radios in their bachelor apartments and think they were involved in the world.

Except that, unlike scanner hobbyists, bloggers have a nasty tendency to change the landscape, be it Trent Lott's racist idiocy or Dan Rather's partisan bullshit. Crikey but you're a fearful, jealous idiot.

Bloggers don't know about anything that happened before they sat down to share their every thought with the moon.

Because we live in a vacuum and know nothing at all, you see. We can't possibly observe the mainstream media. We can't possibly be on-site at important events. Damn, does Instapundit know that he is but a moon with some hundreds of thousands of moons orbiting him on a daily basis? If not, he should. And he ought to be fucking proud of the fact.

I wonder how many people bother to read Nick Coleman* (you know, aside from when we bloggers in our pajamas, briefly distracted from talking to the moon, link to his sorry ass).

We are not dealing with journalism, people. We are dealing with Internet chat rooms: sleazy and unreliable, with no accountability.

No, deep-throat-my-mainstream-fuck-buddies, our accountability lies in the same thing that makes us powerful: speed, information, and wide-ranging expertise. You know, the things that once-upon-a-long-ago were considered the domain of mainstream media. The things upon which your pride rested, but which they rather (heh, get it? Probably not.), now teeter.

Blogs may not break a story, but we'll sure as heck blow holes in your story to hell and back. I'm sorry this makes you cry. Boo hoo Media Baby Jeebus.

Most bloggers are not fit to carry a reporter's notebook.

Most would not want to, given that recently they are full of leftist lies. OK, fine, send a copy on over to Atrios, but even he'd want a little wiggle room on what he can chuck in the recycle bin. Yes, it's that bad!

That's the job of journalism -- to scrutinize the actions of those in power.

Errmmm...what about those aspiring to power? You see, that attitude is what let the fake Bush memos get their start as the Truth^TM. None is so foolish as he who will not learn. If that's not a Chinese proverb, it damn sure ought to be.

So, how is it that nakedly partisan bloggers who make things up left and right are gaining street cred while the mainstream media, which spend a lot of time criticizing themselves, are under attack?

Food for thought, lil' Nicky, food for thought. When you have the answer, maybe we'll give you a pat on the head and a lil' lollipop for your troubles.

* Who?

Update: Steve says I'm angry. Nah, don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry. Especially because me little pants get all kinds of revealing when I Hulk^TM out. OK, so some of you might like me angry.

Update 2: Fat Tire seems to give me the incredible ability to string together rants that, while full of holes you could push Michael Moore through, still seem to make an elegant sort of sense. Neat.

Update 3: While you're here, you really ought to check out the rest of the blog. It's full of ranty goodness (as well as a fair bit of crap, the odd bit of cheesecake, and assorted rambling). Just be sure to read the fine print.

Update 4: Remember, bloggers are not journalists. Except when they are. Bill continues to impress.

Update 5: Lynn says:

Bloggers are just people talking. Ever since the day the first newspaper came out people have been sitting around the breakfast table talking about how full of crap journalists are. The only difference now is that there are millions of people sitting around the same breakfast table together talking about how full of crap journalists are and we're making enough noise that some of the journalists are finally starting to hear what is being said about them.

And they don't much like what they're hearing I imagine.