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September 19, 2004

Jokes for Jesus

Yup, nothing funnier than a good old kill-a-fag joke courtesy of Jimmy "I have sinned...against you!" Swaggart.

"I've never seen a man in my life I wanted to marry. And I'm gonna be blunt and plain...if one ever looks at me like that, I'm gonna kill him and tell God he died."

Lying for the Lord, and being a gay-hating prick - it's only too bad we don't live in a universe where Karma would dictate a very large steel pole finding itself jammed right up Swaggart's ass.

Goodness, one wonders how anyone could ever think that right-wing Christian fundamentalists are a source of evil in the world.

Via the periodically sane Oliver!

Update: I'd like to take back everything I said above, because Swaggart has apologized:

On Wednesday, Swaggart said he has jokingly used the expression "killing someone and telling God he died" thousands of times, about all sorts of people. He said the expression is figurative and not meant to harm.

"It's a humorous statement that doesn't mean anything. You can't lie to God -- it's ridiculous," Swaggart told The Associated Press. "If it's an insult, I certainly didn't think it was, but if they are offended, then I certainly offer an apology."

Remember, folks: saying you're sorry means you never have to change.

Asshole.