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August 18, 2004

Buh-boing!

Alan Keyes is flip-flopping worse than John Kerry on a particularly well-lubricated tramponline upon which Teresa Heinz Kerry* had just double-bounced him.

Alan Keyes was against carpetbagging, until he wasn't. Alan Keyes was against reparations, until he wasn't.

Verily, I say, the Republican party has lost its way. And its mind.

Now, if only they would lose their Keyes.

Update: An interesting observation:

So how do they handle the dilemma? They hand Alan Keyes a nice, long rope and he'll make like Judas, leave town and hang himself. They can't think of a more graceful way to fire an obviously disastrous employee.

One can hope, but be careful with the "hanging" reference. Given Keyes' bizarre behavior of late, he's liable to rant about how you want to put together a lynchin' posse. Racist!

Anyway, I think it would be much, much cooler if instead of hanging himself, Keyes made like Judas and - during a stump speech - fell over and exploded his guts out.** Maybe too messy though. But cool.

* Or perhaps one of her houseboys, as trampolines are so proletarian.

** Yes, the inerrant Word of God can't make up its mind on how Judas died.