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January 29, 2004

Voices from the Grave

So maybe it's really a voice from someone who claims to be related to someone who is in the grave. From this post, on the passing of the "founder" of the Prattville, Alabama cross garden comes this bit of enlightened prose (please set KrazyCapsViewingSoftware to level -10):

TOO BAD YOU DIDN'T SPEND MORE TIME REALIZING THE FACT THAT WHATEVER THE VOICE HE HEARD WAS POWERFUL ENOUGH TO CHANGE HIS LIFE.

Yep, and the voices Son of Sam heard told him to go out and kill. Your grandfather had no corner on the market of "I hear voices and they tell me to do crazy shit."

I PRAY YOU HEAR GOD'S WORD AT TIME WHEN YOU STILL HAVE TIME LEFT TO LIVE.

So long as that voice doesn't instruct me to build a bunch of crosses and signs, whose only purpose is to freak people out, rather than actually work to help people, I might not mind hearing it.

I FIND THIS SITE VERY DISRESPECTFUL AND IGNORNANT.

That's ok. This site finds you pea-brained and nothing but a source for amusement.

IT IS QUITE APPARENT THAT YOU NEVER STOPPED AND TALKED TO MY GRANDFATHER.

You're right. Crazy, old people hearing the voice of their own special God in the middle of nowhere don't often pass my "stop and hope you live to tell the tale" test.

IF YOU HAD, YOU WOULD KNOW HE WAS NOT IN THE LEAST BIT INSANE OR IGNORANT. HE WAS VERY COURAGEOUS AND BRAVE.

Buy a thesaurus, my friend. Insane is not the opposite of courageous, and ignorant is not the opposite of brave. You can be brave and courageous for all the wrong, goddamn crazy reasons.

THERE ARE MANY LIKE YOU.

Not nearly enough, but we're working on it!

HE IS NO LONGER HAVING TO DEFEND GOD'S WORK HEAR ON EARTH ANYMORE. I AM THANKFUL THAT HE IS IN HEAVEN, LOOKING DOWN ON THOSE OF US WHO SUPPORTED HIM.

Actually, he's in the ground, decomposing as we all tend to do once we die, but you go on and believe what makes you feel good. Say, shouldn't you be out making some more crosses rather than, oh, helping others?

OH, BY THE WAY, THE ROADSIDE JUNK AS YOU CALL IT, IS GOING FOR A PRETTY GOOD RATE ON THE INTERNET.

So it's not about God but about money? Hmmm, I bet that pisses Jesus off. I have always found odd how Christians look for ways to profit from their god rather than spread his word and grace freely. Were Jesus alive today, I bet he'd kick the holy living shit out of you and the rest of the moneychangers in the temple.

THANKS TO A LARGE FAMILY CONSISTING OF SEVERAL YOUNGER GRAND CHILDREN, I EXPECT HIS WORK TO CONTINUE FOR GENERATIONS TO COME.

Good, I can use the material.

Amen.