August 13, 2003

A Hole Found in the Godfather's Family Tree

Today's weirdest celebrity news: DNA testing has allegedly proven that alleged singer and actress Courtney Love is the granddaughter of superstar turned icon Marlon Brando. Love's mother was Brando's lovechild, born when he was a 20 year old struggling actor- this is obviously the result of a well planned Bene Gesserit youthful seduction (which could explain the levitators around Marlon's girth of late).

So consider the genealogy of Frances Bean- she's the daughter of Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love, the great-granddaughter of Brando (who supposedly has thirty children, several of them younger than his great-granddaughter), and the niece of Christian & Cheyenne Brando- otoh, her maternal grandmother is a respected psychotherapist, so let's hope for a genetic longshot. By the time she's a teenager, she could well be the opening act for Lisa Marie and Jett Williams.

Trivia: the twins who played Adam, son of Samantha and "Durwood" on BEWITCHED, were adopted at birth and later discovered their biological father was Tony Curtis, to whom they bear an astonishing resemblance. At the height of the success of Northern Exposure, star Barry Corbin had just finished shooting an episode in which his character, Maurice (one of my favorite TV characters of all time, incidentally, if only because he's the only one who could ever relate to my then passions for both showtunes and guns) learned he was the father of a 35 year old Korean son when in real life he learned he was the father of a 35 year old daughter. Point: The rolling stone doesn't fall far from the tree.