May 09, 2003

A cure that's full of beans

REUTERS: Sars? Pass the Green Bean Soup

Terrified that the deadly SARS virus is about to hit their country, Cambodians have been gulping down bowls of green bean soup, rumored to ward off the disease.

Bean prices in markets across the country have sky-rocketed ever since word first began to spread this week that the thick sweet brew could beat the disease.

The poverty-stricken Southeast Asian nation so far remains free of Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome (SARS), which first reared its head in China and has killed hundreds of people worldwide.

Rumor that bean soup worked to ward off and even cure SARS spread so quickly it jammed the country's telephone networks as terrified Khmers phoned loved ones to pass on the message.

'My mother-in-law forced me to eat a bowl. I don't believe in it, but I don't mind because I've always liked green bean soup,' one 29-year-old Cambodian television reporter told Reuters.

The Official Third World Cure for SARS now stands at throwing a firecracker at a statue of Buddha while wearing a bra on your face and eating green bean soup. Watch for the World Health Organization to ask the United Nations Printing Office to print up a million brochures detailing this cure in Najavo, Afrikaans, and Esperanto.

Andy says: Just let them try those quack remedies here - the FTC and FDA are cracking down on bogus cures. Personally, I think allowing stupid people who buy into the really extreme quackery to do so would encourage natural selection. Darwin Awards, anyone?