April 10, 2003

Hello, Nurse!

I've watched Nurse Betty twice now, and I'm still laughing my ass off. I mean, sure, the first time I watched it I was doped to the gills with codeine, antibiotics, and an inhaler. But then, if I really had gills, I wouldn't have had to worry about this bronchitis. I wouldn't have bronchi, you see... unless I was an amphibian, then I'd have both bronchi and whatever gills or vilii or things gills have on them.

Anyway, Morgan Freeman is one of my favorite actors, and it's a shame he gets overlooked so often. Chris Rock teams up with him and they're such a pair. Nurse Betty herself, who is played by someone almost as delusional as her character, is completely out of touch with reality, and I don't blame her. I was out of touch with reality for the first run of the movie, which made it all the funnier.

In fact, I laughed so hard, I bit through the thermometer. Isn't it amazing that we can realize that thermometers are a potentially poisonous and sharp object in our mouths, so we invent digital ones that can shock us to death instead or poison us with swallowed watch batteries?

After all that laughing, it turns out that I only bruised a rib and didn't crack one. Hooray for modern medicine! I'd give this movie two thumbs up, but I'm having trouble with blurred vision. Are these my thumbs and are there two of them?

Great! Enjoy the show, and try not to guess anything. You'll just be wrong and you'll only have to get your jaw off the floor that many more times.