Exercises in Futility, A Series*

The only person dumber than the guy who buys a lottery ticket**, is the guy who carefully fills out the choose-your-own-numbers Powerball card, takes it to the register to be scanned, and – when it won’t scan – actually takes the time to read out every number on 10 tickets so the cashier can punch them into the machine.

Because, you know, that extra effort (and annoyance for people in line behind him) is really going to change his chances of winning.

Plus, he was a redneck with very hairy ear canals and a truck.

He probably will win.

* OK, not really. Just seemed a good title.

** Like, say, yours truly.

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