Maybe It Will Involve Another Coloring Book

The Pope is gettin’ serious about man-boy love in the Church:

Traveling on his first papal journey to the United States, Pope Benedict XVI confronted the clergy sex abuse scandal, saying Tuesday that he was “deeply ashamed” of the problem and vowing to keep pedophiles out of the priesthood…

“It is a great suffering for the church in the United States and for the church in general and for me personally that this could happen,” Benedict said. “It is difficult for me to understand how it was possible that priests betray in this way their mission … to these children.”

Just a guess, but it probably had something to do with bishops helping the priests hide in plain sight, an evil and corrupt bureaucracy so enamored of mammon that it would sacrifice our young people to keep the money flowing.

Benedict pledged that pedophiles would not be priests in the Catholic Church.

“We will absolutely exclude pedophiles from the sacred ministry,” Benedict said. “It is more important to have good priests than many priests. We will do everything possible to heal this wound.”

What, are they going to implement something like the questions the ticket agent used to ask you at the airport?

“Mr. O’Malley, have you ever fondled a boy’s wiggledy-woo? No? Very good, very good.”

Wink wink nudge nudge.

That’ll do wonders.

Pedophilia is “absolutely incompatible” with the priesthood, Benedict said.

Uh, dude, I think the last several decades have shown that to be a falsehood. It made for strange bedfellows (you know, old men and young boys), but compatibility sure wasn’t the problem.

One Response to “Maybe It Will Involve Another Coloring Book”

  1. Tom Says:

    I love GWB’s response. “Awesome speech.”

    At least he didn’t say, “Awesome speech, brah!”

    Numbnuts.

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