Archive for April, 2008

Well, Yeah, But They’re Not Real Jews

Wednesday, April 30th, 2008

The Anti-Defamation League blasts Ben Stein and the other cretins behind “Expelled.”

The film Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed misappropriates the Holocaust and its imagery as a part of its political effort to discredit the scientific community which rejects so-called intelligent design theory.

Hitler did not need Darwin to devise his heinous plan to exterminate the Jewish people and Darwin and evolutionary theory cannot explain Hitler’s genocidal madness.

Using the Holocaust in order to tarnish those who promote the theory of evolution is outrageous and trivializes the complex factors that led to the mass extermination of European Jewry.

God might have resurrected Jesus, but I doubt even He could bring back Ben Stein’s integrity or career.

(found, of course, via PZ Myers)

Update: Over at National Review Online, John Derbyshire – who, when not talking about homosexuals, displays an ability to be rational – also takes Stein to task for the “science leads to killing people” nonsense (see my post below).

He then asks:

And there are NRO readers who are on board with this dreck? I need a drink.

Better get a keg, John – I’m willing to bet that most of the far right is on board with this dreck.

You Will Be Hearing of Drinks and Rumors of Drunks

Tuesday, April 29th, 2008

I think I might have used that line, or something like it, previously when mentioning an upcoming Rocky Mountain Blogger Bash.

Regardless, I am using it again. It’s. Just. That. Good*.

So, Zomby and I were planning to meet up to discuss the next RMBB, but got interrupted by an email from someone who had some interesting ideas. We’re meeting with them this week to discuss. It could be pretty cool.

Stay tuned.

* And if it doesn’t make sense to you, you’re either not a very good Christian or you’re an atheist who really needs to read the source material.

Ben Stein Learns That When You Lie Down With Creationists

Monday, April 28th, 2008

you get up talking lies.


That’s right, he actually said:

“Science leads you to killing people.”

14:59:99.

*ding!*

Now go away, Ben, you senile, old, blathering fool.

Review: The Astronaut Farmer

Monday, April 28th, 2008

This past weekend, we watched “The Astronaut Farmer,” starring Billy Bob Thornton and Virginia Madsen’s chest. It was harmless enough, a feel-good tale of chasing your dreams despite the fact that you’re very obviously insane and probably a danger to those around you.

Two items of note:

  1. Virginia Madsen is still hot, and I’m as enamored of her today as I was when she first graced my brain (and nether regions) while watching “Electric Dreams” (which was soon supplanted by the shower scene in “Creator”).

  2. What was up with the MLK Jr. assassination conspiracy crap tucked into a throwaway line in a men’s room? Billy Bob’s crazy farmer, after being told by his lawyer that there’s no threat against him from the government, says something like “I don’t know. I hear they’re pretty good at assassinating people with dreams.”

    Pardon me, but WTF? Maybe I’m interpreting that incorrectly.

    Next time let’s just have Alicia Keys jump out and sing a song about how the white man created gangsta rap to keep a poor, black brother down.

    Hell, she can do a duet with Jeremiah Wright while she’s at it.


That said, sure, rent it. Whatever. It’s not going to wow you, might make you smile here and there, and – yes, Santa Claus, there is Virginia.

Sometimes I Miss Alabama

Saturday, April 26th, 2008

Sometimes I don’t.

Follow the link. You have to read it to believe it. It’s like they’ve put stupid in the water.

Update: For the short version, go here. And take note of the fabulous grammar and spelling.

Exercises in Futility, A Series*

Saturday, April 26th, 2008

The only person dumber than the guy who buys a lottery ticket**, is the guy who carefully fills out the choose-your-own-numbers Powerball card, takes it to the register to be scanned, and – when it won’t scan – actually takes the time to read out every number on 10 tickets so the cashier can punch them into the machine.

Because, you know, that extra effort (and annoyance for people in line behind him) is really going to change his chances of winning.

Plus, he was a redneck with very hairy ear canals and a truck.

He probably will win.

* OK, not really. Just seemed a good title.

** Like, say, yours truly.

There May Be No Atheists in Foxholes*

Saturday, April 26th, 2008

…but there was in a Humvee under fire in Iraq:

Like hundreds of young men joining the Army in recent years, Jeremy Hall professes a desire to serve his country while it fights terrorism.

But the short and soft-spoken specialist is at the center of a legal controversy. He has filed a lawsuit alleging he’s been harassed and his constitutional rights have been violated because he doesn’t believe in God…

“I was ashamed to say that I was an atheist,” Hall said.

It eventually came out in Iraq in 2007, when he was in a firefight. Hall was a gunner on a Humvee, which took several bullets in its protective shield. Afterward, his commander asked whether he believed in God, Hall said.

“I said, ‘No, but I believe in Plexiglas,”‘ Hall said. “I’ve never believed I was going to a happy place. You get one life. When I die, I’m worm food.”

As you can expect, this went over well. The article has more on what he has experienced and why he is suing. Check it out.

* Of course, there are. Don’t be stupid.

Attn: Reverend Jeremiah Wright

Thursday, April 24th, 2008

Cry me a river, would you?

In an interview on PBS set to air Friday, Wright expressed frustration with how his sermons had been portrayed by the news media and critics of Obama’s White House bid.

“I felt it was unfair,” he told PBS’ Bill Moyers according to released excerpts. “I felt it was unjust. I felt it was untrue. I felt that those who were doing that, were doing it for some very devious reasons.”

Speaking to PBS, Wright did not recant his past sermons. “The persons who have heard the entire sermon understand the communication perfectly,” he said.

…and then he may or may not have said:

“It’s not my fault you devious white devils don’t listen to a downtrodden black man who just can’t get a break anywhere in his 10,000 square foot home.”

Awesome! Two More Years…

Tuesday, April 22nd, 2008

of Larry King’s hard-hitting journalism:

Exclusive: Sources tell TVNewser that CNN and Larry King have agreed to a contract extension, which will keep the anchor with the network through 2010, beyond his 77th birthday.

His brain, which apparently died sometime in early 2000, was upset to have been left out of the negotiations.

So, in our time of war, an economy in a downturn, and with a Presidential election looming, Larry King will continue to bring us the keen insights of psychic frauds like Sylvia Browne.

Way to go, CNN!

American Idol, Live Recap, April 22, 2008

Tuesday, April 22nd, 2008

Hey, welcome back.

The final six will be taking on selected works of Andrew Lloyd Webber, famous for his grills (and who knew he wrote music too?).

Syesha Mercado is singing “One Rock n’ Roll Too Many,” a song I don’t think I have ever heard, and quite possibly have misspelled in some fashion.

Wow, who knew those yabos and twisty hips were hiding under there all this time? Listen, dog, that’s hot. And the singing wasn’t half-bad either; a very solid performance.

The judges agreed, and Paula almost got cut off in mid-sentence, but the cruel fates decided to go back to her so she could finish.

Aside: Why is Johnny-5 playing a cartoon robot named Wall*E in that new Disney movie?

Up next is Jason Castro, who thought really hard about washing his hair for tonight’s show, but then decided against it, singing “Memory.”

Well, it was… uh… a sickly sweet performance, and not enough to top Syesha at all. Randy didn’t dig it, y’all. Paula at least started out without saying he looked nice, but then Randy did. Simon calls it.

Aside 2: Netflix confirms that “Cloverfield” shipped to us today. Nifty!

Contestant number three of the night is Brooke White singing “You Must Love Me.” But not before getting ripped a second anus by Webber for not understanding the motivation behind the song. And, uh, not before screwing up the start of the song. Probably that second anus was kind of itchy or something.

All of that out of the way, not a terribly shabby performance for a chick with two hiney holes. I agree with Simon that stopping and then starting was the right thing to do… so does Randy, once again proving that Paula is a schlub.

David Archuleta will be taking on “Think of Me.” Andrew Lloyd Webber (named after Christopher Lloyd), indicates this was a song written for a woman, a diva, and – well – it sure seems like the right girl chose it tonight. Huzzah.

Now, for the performance… first observation: how quickly he forgot the two lessons he was taught (one for each eye). Second observation: this kid is so gonna win this thing. Somebody put on some Spice Girls, ’cause we need some girl power, y’all!

Third observation: wow, Paul Stanley looks… uh…. hmmm. Um, yeah, OK.

After the break, Carly Smithson. Did Andrew Lloyd Webber say she had a big chest? And does anyone else notice how her accent goes between Dubliner and Valley Girl on a whim? And does this song start off like the theme for “The Rockford Files” or what?

And, uh, that dress? Sure, it’s short, but what good is that when I’ve gouged out my eyes to avoid looking at it?

The performance was big and loud and generally good.

David Cook, who had some MP3s available on Amazon.com until he got the AI smackdown put on him, is singing “The Music of the Night.”

OK, fine, maybe he beats little Ms. Archuleta after all. And Paula loves his beautiful instrument. Which would be hot, if it weren’t Paula.

But now it’s time for some Ramsay action in the kitchen. See ya!