Archive for March, 2008

Are You Looking for the Best in Colorado Blogging?

Tuesday, March 25th, 2008

Well, you’ve come to the right place.

But you could also do a lot worse than visiting Planet Colorado, an intermingled stream of Colorado blogging joyousness and happyosity, which includes yours truly.

It was also nice to see that the WP Anti Leech plugin really doesn’t work for poop. Ah well.

Maybe It’s A Miracle from Marvin

Monday, March 24th, 2008

the patron saint of extraterrestrials*:

Would you believe aliens have landed in North America?

Well, neither did Global television station CICT in Calgary, Alberta, Canada.

The station got word that alien images had shown up on the exterior wall of a home in the southwest part of town. So they went to check it out…

There’s no doubt why people are so puzzled and shocked by the out of this world discovery. The image looks like the heads of two aliens.

There’s no doubt why people are so puzzled and shocked because people are not puzzled and shocked…

Most everyone believes the images are not real aliens but the sun’s reflection off a nearby window.

…which would explain why there are no science nerds holding candlelight vigils around the house, all the while chanting equations dealing with planetary orbits, re-entry temperatures, and the speed of light.

Had this looked even remotely like a bearded man of indeterminate ethnic origin, there’d be Catholics lined up around the block, crying for their chance to touch the miracle wall.

Maybe he could market it as “Space-Faring Jesus and Friend” and then make a buck or two.

* Or the Martian variety, at least.

Raising a Generation of Stupid

Monday, March 24th, 2008

Christian homeschoolers take their kids to tour the Denver Museum of Nature & Science:

We have a membership to the museum and I have heard, on the odd visit, some creationist muttering to a companion about how wrong the museum is. That’s fine; they were adults, supposedly capable of thinking for themselves (despite all evidence to the contrary). This, however, is simply wrong. Children rely on authority figures to help them interpret the world, and teaching them that man’s knowledge of science, acquired through centuries of observation and experimentation, is inferior to a internally-inconsistent book of demonstrably false fairy tales is sickening.

At least when I take the wee Fi to the museum, she expresses real interest in learning about the exhibits, rather than regurgitating some idiocy spouted by a cretin from BC Tours, lest she be set upon by the Devil himself (because, surely, if there be devils, they’d call a science museum home).

(found via Ben Stein’s Enemy #1, PZ Myers)

I’m Guessing That’s a Thumbs Down

Friday, March 21st, 2008

PZ Myers goes to the movies and hilarity ensues.

You have to read it to believe it.

Unless you’re an intelligent design advocate, in which case it just makes y’all look kind of dumb and dishonest (which, truth be told…).

Note: When you’re done laughing at the ceaseless stupidity of the yahoos behind the “Expelled” movie, you can also marvel at their rampant dishonesty. I wonder, does a cock crow when creationist Kevin Miller lies?

Someone should get that poor bird a throat lozenge.

Note 2: It’s hard to be sure, but I’m thinking that Richard Dawkins didn’t like “Expelled” either.

The whole tone of the film is whiny, paranoid — pathetic really….

What a shoddy, second-rate piece of work….

Quite apart from anything else, it is drearily boring, the tedium exacerbated by the grating monotony of Stein’s voice….

And those were the high points.

New Age Marketing Genius!

Thursday, March 20th, 2008


The Nexus Journey Stone is one of the most innovative tools for self-improvement available anywhere. It looks really cool (your very own rollie poly little alien friend).

Because the first step in self-improvement is to wear a cheap, useless stone amulet that some guy selling it says “looks really cool.” And, no, honey, those pants don’t make you look fat.

The process is unique and simple. All you do is wear the amulet and let the energy of the stone connect you with the Oracle. You will connect in your own time, in your own way. Until you decide to make the connection, you can have a lot of fun just wearing the darn thing and enjoying how good and alive you feel. You will become a more positive person and a stronger and happier one too.

Wow, that’s amazing! How does this wondrous magic happen? I wonder, what with it being so wondrous!

The Journey Stone vibrates at a high, very healing, frequency. You raise your own personal energy vibration to match it by holding or wearing the amulet and focusing on the energy. Then you just be still and listen.

Can you imagine if the Journey Stone vibrated at the all-too-common, low, tissue-damaging frequency? Why, no one would buy the thing! Haven’t we all had enough of rocks that vibrate in such a way that they kill us?

The Nexus Journey Stone is a truly inspiring meditation tool that can take you to places you’ve never been before and show you the larger reality in which you exist. You can wear it as often as you want.

As opposed to those lifeless rocks you can only wear on Tuesdays, I guess.

You are the guiding intelligence for matters that pertain to yourself. By working with the Journey Stone you begin to tune in to yourself at the “being” level. And when you’re there, the answers just come to you – naturally.

I believe most of us call this exciting process “thinking.” And I’ve been doing it for 36 years without the benefit of the Journey Stone. I must be a truly gifted soul!

Which is a good thing, because…

One of the most unique and wonderful things about the Nexus Journey Stone is that I cannot tell you how to use it.



“Instructions not included.”

What is this, “The Greatest American Hero?”

I simply must know: are people stupid enough to buy this crap?

Perhaps I Just Test Well

Thursday, March 20th, 2008

I took the Pew Research Center current events quiz and I did quite well:

Here’s Your Score: You correctly answered 12 of the 12 possible questions along with approximately 3% of the public. You did better than 97% of the general public.

Uh, duh… of course I did.

Just one more reason you good people should default your opinions to mine, no matter the topic!

You can take the test right here.

(via Wheels)

For Your Consideration

Monday, March 17th, 2008

The theme from “The Rockford Files” is the greatest television theme song in history.

Related: Other items of interest (or not).

And a Hand Job for Good Behavior

Saturday, March 15th, 2008

Perhaps this study explains the many vicious hordes of rampaging dorks overrunning our cities, looting, pillaging, and making off with our innocent womenfolk*.

* In imaginary dungeons at least.

The Way I Feel

Saturday, March 15th, 2008

This might explain it.

ATLANTA (AP) — The flu season is getting worse, and U.S. health officials say it’s partly because the flu vaccine doesn’t protect against most of the spreading flu bugs.

The flu shot is a good match for only about 40 percent of this year’s flu viruses, officials at the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention said Friday.


The Tornado Gods Grow Angry!

Saturday, March 15th, 2008

Apparently the regular sacrifice of trailer parks to our tornadic overlords is no longer pleasing in their sight:

ATLANTA, Georgia (CNN) — A trail of uprooted and broken trees, downed utility lines, peeled-off roofs and collapsed brick walls marked the path of a tornado that tore through downtown Atlanta.

The National Weather Service confirmed late Saturday morning that an EF-2 tornado with winds up to 130 mph struck the city Friday night.

Best wishes to the people of Atlanta. Being from Alabama, I spent many a weekend in Hotlanta while growing up.

Blogger Michael Demmons was out of town at the time; he reports that both he and his house are safe.

To make matters worse, the Mississippi State vs Alabama SEC tourney game was able to resume play after the all-clear, with Alabama losing 69-67.