You Know What I Hate?

I hate when two stainless steel dinner forks get their tines entangled and, as you work them apart, there’s this grating, shiny* sensation. Makes my teeth ache.

I also hate the way it feels when you smooth a bed sheet with the flat of your bare hand. Oh, and the way it sounds. Hate it. Makes me cringe.

Yeah, like you’re not weird in any way or somethin’.

* Honestly, that’s about the only way I can describe it. Feel free to do better, though.

4 Responses to “You Know What I Hate?”

  1. Mr Lady Says:

    Reading that made my teeth hurt and gave me chills down my right arm.

  2. Blake Says:

    You think you have it bad, Andy? Before my cochlear implant a month ago, I couldn’t hear hi-pitch noises at all with my hearing aids. Then they turned on the implant and, holy fuck did the world explode in my head. Water running, crinkling of paper (let’s not talk about tinfoil!), oven timer going off, clocks ticking, rain falling, flushing toilets, and last but not least, pissing is loud, dude!

    I think that betters you, my friend. It’s gotten better every day since, but I almost went insane the first week or so.

  3. Doug Says:

    Blake, your article interested me. I am having the similar problems with my new hearing aids. Can you tell me what the frequencies are that needed to be changed to correct all of your running water, crinkling paper, and clock ticking noises? I have pretty much the same thing going on. I would appreciate it and so would a lot of other people out there. Will you make a new post? Thank you.

  4. Blake Says:

    Doug, I don’t know if I can really help you. I’ve worn hearing aids all my life (I’m 37) and only in the last few years did my hearing worsen to the point where I wasn’t getting much benefit from them. That’s why I went ahead and got a cochlear implant, which has radically changed my hearing in a way that hearing aids could never do (as I described in my comment above.) Hearing aids only provide power (or volume) and doesn’t do much for clarity.

    However, from your brief description, it seems like you are getting a benefit from hearing aids that I never got…namely, being able to hear hi-pitch noises so I can only surmise your hearing loss is not nearly as profound as mine is. I can tell you from experience growing up that whenever I did get new, more powerful hearing aids, there was an adjustment period because it did increase the volume of everything around me. It’s annoying for awhile, but eventually your brain learns to adapt and tune out background noise.

    If you have digital, programmable aids, you should be able to go to your audiologist to tweak the settings if the ambient noises continue to bother you. I assume you’ve had a hearing test, right? If so, your audiologist should be using that as a baseline to determine the proper settings for your new hearing aids. Give it a little more time and see if you adjust. Sorry I can’t be of more help.

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