The sweet, sweet voice of calm and reason is alive and kickin’ it in Texas:
STEPHENVILLE, Texas (AP) — In this farming community where nightfall usually brings clear, starry skies, residents are abuzz over reported sightings of what many believe is a UFO…
“People wonder what in the world it is because this is the Bible Belt, and everyone is afraid it’s the end of times,” said Steve Allen, a freight company owner and pilot who said the object he saw last week was a mile long and half a mile wide. “It was positively, absolutely nothing from these parts.”
Well, duh, unless it was a flying tractor or pick-up with ridiculously large tires, how could it be?
As for it being a sign of Biblical end times, I guess I must have missed the “Book of St. Predator to the Cat from Outer Space” in my copy of the Bible.
Update: The excitement continues as more details come in about the UFO sighting:
Pilot Steve Allen saw the object when he was out clearing brush off a hilltop near the town of Silden. Allen described the unidentified object as being an enormous aircraft with flashing strobe lights â€” and it was totally silent…
The veteran pilot said the UFO, an estimated half-mile wide and a mile long, was “bigger than a Wal-Mart.”
Bigger. Than. A. Wal-Mart.
That there’s purty dang big, y’all!
All we need now is a report that it landed on the outskirts of a trailer park and aliens carrying Miller Genuine Draft streamed out.