This is Not a Gay Post*

Just puttin’ this out there, is all:

Is Zappos the greatest online shoe store in the known universe, or what?

I’ve used them before, primarily because I have what one could lovingly call Jesus feet (that is, they’re wide enough for walking on water, not that they have nail holes in them or anything, because – well – shoes would be the least of my problems then). I suppose they’re not terribly wide, just an EE / XW, but for reasons unknown the brick-and-mortar retail shoe gods have seen fit to stock the shelves with nothing but medium.

For years, I just bought a size up, curing the width problem but – with one specific purchase, after a few weeks of wear – creating a funny clown shoe effect as one shoe would sort of slap back to the ground with each step.

*Stomp, slap, stomp, slap, stomp, slap*

Is it the soundtrack to a snuff film? Nope. Just Andy walkin’ down the hall.

Then I discovered Zappos. Shoes. Wide shoes. Affordable wide shoes. Lots of them. Even some rather nifty-looking ones at that.

My latest experience with Zappos was the best by far. I placed an order for two pairs of shoes one afternoon and – with no extra charge for shipping – they appeared on my doorstep the next morning. Hooray for magic shoe fairies!**

Alas, one of the pairs did not fit well, so I went online last night and, using the Zappos easy return policy, printed out postage-paid UPS labels to return the shoes the next day. Right after I submitted the return request online, I ordered a different pair of shoes to replace the ones I was sending back.

Lo and behold, hooray once again for magic shoe fairies***, a box was on my doorstep by midday today, bearing within its awaited podiatric prizes.

So, uh, what I really wanted to say is: Zappos is cool and stuff.

* But even if it were, what of it? Huh? We’re a very tolerant blog, see.

** Not any sort of gay reference.

*** Not this time either.

3 Responses to “This is Not a Gay Post*”

  1. Jody Says:


  2. andy Says:

    Oh, please, like you would know anything about what’s gay and what isn’t.



  3. Kaf Says:

    Hmm. Deciding who is better suited for picking out the gay post, Andy or Jody. Difficult, I know.

    But you know what they say about wide feet? No, no, not that they lead to wide stances. Always with the gay jokes…

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