Hey there, fellow homeowners (or those who are simply in the know):

I’m guessing that the black plastic pipes that converge at a joint here and there in the attic and then take off through the roof are sewage / drain vents. They all seem to be coming from areas of the house where there might be toilets, sinks, and the like. Anyway, from Googling around, that’s my best guess.

The problem: one of them is leaking (or was at one point), as evidenced by a light ring stain we recently noticed at the join of the ceiling and wall in the master bath, right under where one of those pipes goes vertical.

I can’t tell if the joint is leaking or if it’s simply runoff from the roof creeping in and sliding down the outside of the pipe, mainly because I can’t get to it. The attic is covered in 9-10 inches of blown insulation, obscuring the joists from view, and I’d rather not drop through the ceiling - and the roof is the highest point of the second level, which I have no way of reaching to check (nor would I want to, as breaking my neck is not high on my list of things to do).

So, who do I call?

A plumber would seem the right choice if the pipe is leaking when rain enters it. It looks to be a simple repair.

A roofer would seem to be the man or woman of the hour if it’s a problem with shingles or flashing upon high, letting snow or rain blow into the attic.

Are there any roofing plumbers or plumbing roofers out there?

If you’ve recently received a letter informing you that you’re entitled to a class action settlement of credit card fees charged on overseas purchases in the last decade, it’s legitimate.

They really should make it look less like random junk mail, as I came close to ripping mine in half and throwing it away. However, I will instead be taking the straightforward $25 refund since I no longer have any reliable record of what we might have bought during our several trips to the UK (aside from pub grub and lots and lots of real ale).

As the article says, it’s entirely possible that some low-life phishing scam-humping jerk will try to capitalize on this with fake offers, but some phone calls or Googling should let you know if yours is safe to send in.

Update: I went to the website mentioned in the mailing, entered my refund code, and was presented with my own name and address. No request of any personal information at all. Just so you know.

Wow, was that Mitt Romney faith speech a load of crap or what? (here’s link to the CNN version of things)

Freedom requires religion just as religion requires freedom.

Freedom requires religion? I think one look at certain (most?) Islamic countries will prove that false without much effort, or at least show that religion doesn’t necessarily enable freedom.

Religion requires freedom? No, not really. There might be more varieties of nonsensical belief in a free and open society, but religion has always managed to stay around in the underground, even in the face of oppression. In fact, just witness the persecution complex of creationists in our free country, and you’ll see that oppression may even embolden religious belief, particularly the more ridiculous kinds.

Freedom opens the windows of the soul so that man can discover his most profound beliefs and commune with God.

He can also discover that his most profound beliefs and his communion with God run directly counter to the most profound beliefs and divine communions of many other people. It’s almost as if they’re all just, uh, making it up.

Freedom and religion endure together, or perish alone.

In a word: poppycock.

I do not define my candidacy by my religion. A person should not be elected because of his faith nor should he be rejected because of his faith.

Or lack of faith.

Although more than half the country disagrees.

Probably why Romney didn’t include atheists in his “Don’t Hate Me Because I’m Mormon” speech.

When I place my hand on the Bible and take the oath of office, that oath becomes my highest promise to God. If I am fortunate to become your president, I will serve no one religion, no one group, no one cause, and no one interest. A president must serve only the common cause of the people of the United States.

Mr. Romney, how - exactly - does one make one’s “highest promise” to their particular concept of God, and then - with a straight face - say he will serve no one religion?

You call yourself a Christian (fine by me, it’s all myth anyway), but you might want to check out the first commandment. Putting the interests of We, the People, ahead even if they run counter to the wishes of your deity, is a very bad thing (you know, if you believe that stuff).

Tsk tsk.

I believe in my Mormon faith and I endeavor to live by it. My faith is the faith of my fathers - I will be true to them and to my beliefs.

Yes, indeed, the faith of your fathers and their fathers and their fathers and their fathers (pausing at some point to rule out multiple wives and seeing black people as inferior, but keeping the magic underwear). Why, it’s fathers all the way back to 1830, when history was recorded well enough to show what a farce your religion actually is.

It’s bold of you, I suppose, to come forward in defense of your faith. What’s disappointing is that you actually believe in it.

Some believe that such a confession of my faith will sink my candidacy. If they are right, so be it. But I think they underestimate the American people. Americans do not respect believers of convenience.

Which is why we atheists never encounter “Pascal’s Wager” presented as a supery-dupery apologetics tool by believers. Never. Ever. Uh uh.

No candidate should become the spokesman for his faith. For if he becomes president he will need the prayers of the people of all faiths.

Huh?

The President needs the prayers of people praying to gods he considers false?

Does he also need people to ask rocks and trees and drywall and toads that their bestest wishes ever come true true true? It amounts to the same thing.

I believe that every faith I have encountered draws its adherents closer to God.

So, Islamic jihadists beheading innocent victims in the name of Allah (and Mohammed is his one true Prophet, peace be upon him) are getting closer to God?

ARE YOU NUTS?

And in every faith I have come to know, there are features I wish were in my own: I love the profound ceremony of the Catholic Mass, the approachability of God in the prayers of the Evangelicals, the tenderness of spirit among the Pentecostals, the confident independence of the Lutherans, the ancient traditions of the Jews, unchanged through the ages, and the commitment to frequent prayer of the Muslims.

The violent punishments for minor offenses in the Old Testament. The slaughter of adulterers and homosexuals in all the Abrahamic religions. The fancy pirate dress to honor the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

As I travel across the country and see our towns and cities, I am always moved by the many houses of worship with their steeples, all pointing to heaven, reminding us of the source of life’s blessings.

And life’s miseries, seeing as how your (or theirs or his or her) god made it all. Can’t take credit for the joy without also chalking up some sadness by your name. Tsunamis anyone? Oh, wait, must have been the free will of the victims to not swim better that killed them all.

It is important to recognize that while differences in theology exist between the churches in America, we share a common creed of moral convictions.

No, no you don’t!

If such were the case, you’d all agree on the matter of gay marriage, abortion, and theories of what is a just war.

You don’t agree on morality. You don’t agree on proper ways to worship. You don’t agree on the characteristics of the Divine. Again, it’s like you’re all just making this stuff up.

Whether it was the cause of abolition, or civil rights, or the right to life itself, no movement of conscience can succeed in America that cannot speak to the convictions of religious people.

Except that religion was also used to justify slavery (and, again, you might want to reference Mormon history on the treatment of black people, oh Mr. Mormon Faithful Guy).

Except that plenty of religious people support abortion rights, euthanasia, and the like.

Look, Mitt, buddy, everyone knows you’re just pandering to the religious right? OK? Just ‘fess up and say that and my respect for you will be at least slightly higher than it is right now.

But in recent years, the notion of the separation of church and state has been taken by some well beyond its original meaning. They seek to remove from the public domain any acknowledgment of God.

Which god? Your god? Someone else’s god?

As I have said before: a government which does not acknowledge your god is not a government that denies your god. It simply doesn’t address the subject of silly myth, leaving it to the individual to do that in their own special way.

Religion is seen as merely a private affair with no place in public life. It is as if they are intent on establishing a new religion in America - the religion of secularism.

The religion of neutrality on religion. How is that a religion exactly?

Oh, sorry, you’re just pandering again. Got it.

The founders proscribed the establishment of a state religion, but they did not countenance the elimination of religion from the public square. We are a nation ‘Under God’ and in God, we do indeed trust.

No mention of God or the divine in the Constitution of the United States, Mitt, so sorry, please read before next week as there will be a test. Your allusions to the words in the Pledge and on our currency are silly, as both were added well after our great nation was founded.

Oh, by the way, nice job of excluding every atheist in the country as part of this nation. But, then again, you were introduced by George “atheists can’t be patriots” Bush, Sr. So, I guess it sort of follows.

We should acknowledge the Creator as did the Founders - in ceremony and word.

But not in the Constitution. Odd that, for a nation under God.

(Never mind that pesky Treaty of Tripoli either, Mitt).

OK, that’s enough. I need to go make dinner for my kids.

I’d pray for it to magically appear (and, yes, the prayers of people of all faiths are welcome), but - um - we know just how well that works.

Update: PZ Myers calls the speech “an appalling piece of dreck.” Not exactly winning over the atheists, Mitt.

It doesn’t seem to have gotten much play in the blogosphere (at least not in the small circles about which I wander), but Kevin DuBrow, lead singer of 80s two-hit wonder band Quiet Riot, was found dead recently.

Former Quiet Riot bassist and Las Vegas photographer Kelli Garni has revealed the circumstances surrounding the death of Quiet Riot lead singer Kevin DuBrow, however a cause of death remains undisclosed. According to Garni’s lengthy statement, police at the crime scene “found no signs of foul play and are ruling this an accidental death.” Police also believe that DuBrow was dead for roughly six days before being discovered.

There go my dreams of a Quiet Riot / Kingdom Come / Great White tour of musical awesomeness.

Alas, I must admit, that way back in 1983, “Metal Health” was one of my first records, probably one of the first four, taking its honored place next to Paul McCartney & Wings’ “Band on the Run,” Queen’s “The Game,” and Asia’s “Alpha.”

Hey, I was only 12 at the time. I got better.

Although I do have most of those albums in MP3 format somewhere now.

Anyway, rest in peace, oh Man-in-the-Metal-Health-Iron-Mask. I really do hate this getting old business.

* I was tempted to title this either “Metal Health will drive you dead” or “Cum on feel the corpse,” but my sense of decency got the better of me.

You sit down, breathe deep, and your nasal passages fill with the mouth-watering, smoky sweet tang of barbecued pork, beef, and chicken.

And this is two hours after you got home from the restaurant.

(thanks to Brickyard BBQ for another great visit)

Because the big ones require effort*, I guess:

BARTLETT, Tenn. — Tabitha Cain has fed a feral cat she calls Wild Oats for several years, but now she’s thinking of changing its name to Survivor.

That’s because she said the cat survived for 19 days with a peanut butter jar stuck on its head…

Dr. Gerald Blackburn, a veterinarian at Gentle Care Animal hospital in Memphis, said he’s heard similar stories of pets getting trapped for days or even weeks at a time and surviving.

Blackburn said the cat may have lived off of its excess fat, but Doretha Cain had another explanation.

“God will take care of animals just like people because that cat is really a miracle,” she said.

Tell me, Ms. Cain, why does your God hate cows and pigs and chickens and turkeys?

I know, yes, he also looked the other way while six millions Jews perished in Germany’s old national pastime.

He saves a cat dumb enough to get its head stuck in a jar, while completely ignoring the racial abattoir that has unfolded in Darfur.

Seems an odd fellow, that one.

* Yes, I know that the concept of “effort” is meaningless to an omnipotent being. Makes you wonder about that “rested on the seventh day” stuff, doesn’t it?

Evil Knievel is dead:

CLEARWATER, Fla. (AP) - Evel Knievel, the red-white-and-blue-spangled motorcycle daredevil whose jumps over crazy obstacles including Greyhound buses, live sharks and Idaho’s Snake River Canyon made him an international icon in the 1970s, died Friday. He was 69…

Longtime friend and promoter Billy Rundel said Knievel had trouble breathing at his Clearwater condominium and died before an ambulance could get him to a hospital.

“It’s been coming for years, but you just don’t expect it. Superman just doesn’t die, right?” Rundel said.

Take a moment to bow your head and remember the man, the daredevil, the really kick-ass toy.