Before the Lady Who Didn’t Swing Her Arms When She Walked

…there was the stand-up comedian who couldn’t modulate his voice when speaking.


Thanks to Scientology, Jerry Seinfeld knows how to speak like a normal person:

“In my early years of stand-up, it was very helpful. I took a couple of courses. One of them was in communication, and I learned some things about communication that really got my act going.”

“It was just things about understanding the communications cycle… Even the volume at which I’m speaking now is the right volume for where you’re sitting. I’m almost performing, in a way.”


Hey, Jerry, I could have saved you the $1000 the kooks of Scientology took from you when you were an up-and-comer.

If you’re speaking to someone and they are leaning away, covering their ears, and grimacing in pain, you are speaking too loud.

If you’re speaking to someone and they are leaning toward you, cocking an ear your way, and saying “What?” then it is a safe bet you are speaking too softly.

Normally, I charge $82.50 for that lesson, but – Jerry, for you – gratis.

(found via Pharyngula)

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