Personal Effects: One yellow metal ring intact on left ring finger, one dildo
That it was the autopsy report of the Rev. Gary Aldridge, formerly of Thorington Road Baptist Church in my old hometown of Montgomery, Alabama, is just a bonus.
Not to speak ill of the dead, of course.
Note: He must have been doing this for some time, given that dildos were deemed penetrata non grata in Alabama in 1998.