Archive for September, 2007

Hey, How’s The View?

Wednesday, September 19th, 2007

Stupid. Very, very, very – very! – stupid.

They Come in Peace

Tuesday, September 18th, 2007

Pretend to Be a Time-Traveler Day is coming up soon!

OK, December 8, but that’s pretty soon when viewed from the perspective of a voyager from a distant time, you know.

‘Cause that’s how it is with time travel. All relative (so no hanky panky, we don’t want any fat-tongued offspring in the future).

Creationists Finally Document Scientific Research and Analysis to Advance Their Cause

Tuesday, September 18th, 2007

Evil, godless, puppy-kicking “intellectuals” like PZ Myers always complain – among other things! – that there’s no real scientific research being done by creationists and intelligent design proponents.

Well, to that I say: pish-tosh!

My daughter and I are going through Bob Jones University Press’s Science 2 this year. Today we did a science experiment. We made pudding to demonstrate that evolution is nonsense.

That’s right, they made pudding. Scientific pudding (it’s like regular pudding, but with glasses).

Are you listening, Myers? Dawkins?

It was a daring kitchenesque recreation of the Miller-Urey experiments, with Bill Cosby’s be-sweatered pitchman presence supervising in absentia!

Why, I can hardly wait for the peer-reviewed summary to make its debut in the learning disabled version of Highlights magazine, complete with pictures and very little text.

For further amusement, you can read the rest of her post in which she trots out tired creationist nonsense (junkyards and twisters, it’s a twister!) and suggests that the only transitional form that would count would be something like a “mousedogbird“.

While her five year old is a very cute kid, here’s hoping – as my grandma used to say* – “that the stupid don’t stick.”

Note: I wonder if Brooke realizes that, until the year 2000, Bob Jones University used their super Bible science to say that interracial dating was a big no-no in the eyes of blonde-haired, blue-eyed Jesus.

Note 2: Hmmm, reading other posts there made me think maybe this was just really good satire, but then you hit the posts talking about health insurance and the like, and it seems like a real person writing this stuff.

If it’s satire, I applaud the author for creating an individual who seems very next-door-neighbor real, and secretly completely nuts.

Bravo!

* She never really said, but it sounds neat.

Public Service Announcement: Good People of Peru!

Tuesday, September 18th, 2007

Do not fall asleep!

LIMA (AFP) – Villagers in southern Peru were struck by a mysterious illness after a meteorite made a fiery crash to Earth in their area, regional authorities said Monday.

If this is an alien invasion, taking over human bodies one by one, I hope the side effects of being possessed make people saucy and naughty and fun.

You know, make the best of the end of humanity, that sort of thing.

Every Once in a Long While

Tuesday, September 18th, 2007

…when I am missing eating good BBQ or watching the Crimson Tide at Bryant-Denny, I wish I was in Alabama. An event like this makes me wish I was there too:

Staunch atheist Richard Dawkins of The New York Times bestseller The God Delusion will square off in a debate with popular Christian apologist John Lennox next month.

The Oct. 3 debate, which takes place at the Alys Stephens Center in Birmingham, Ala., will tackle one of the world’s most critical and age-old questions – Does God exist? – and views expressed in Dawkins’ latest book.

If any of you happen to be within easy driving distance of Birmingham (this means you, Tom), you need to go and report back on how it turns out.

I’d trust the crack reporters at Australia’s “Christian Today” to give me the true scoop, but they say idiotic things like this in closing in the article:

Former atheist Lee Strobel, now a noted Christian apologist, released a documentary last year using science to prove the existence of God.

“Today, science is pointing more powerfully to a creator than any other time,” said Strobel in “The Case for a Creator.” “The most logical and rational step is to put my faith in the Creator that science tells me exists.”

Wow, he released a documentary that proved the existence of God. Who knew?

Apparently not the good folks at Case Against Faith.

Do As I Say, Not As I Do…

Tuesday, September 18th, 2007

Maybe Christopher Bevan is a modern Merlin, becoming more irresponsible as he ages backwards:

BLOOMSBURG, Pennsylvania (AP) — Bloomsburg University’s student government president was charged with drunken driving just weeks after saying the media has unfairly portrayed students as irresponsible.

Christopher Bevan, 21, was pulled over last weekend after a campus police officer said he saw the student driving more than 50 mph in a 15-mph zone.

A breath test showed Bevan’s blood-alcohol level was .147 percent, authorities said. The legal limit for drivers in Pennsylvania is .08 percent.

If we’re going to get technical, Mr. Bevan never said that he was one of the “responsible, mature Bloomsburg students who are an asset to the school and this community.”

Perhaps for good reason.

And perhaps someone should buy him this.

Did They Type Some Shakespeare Too?

Tuesday, September 18th, 2007

To quote Christopher Hitchens, religion poisons everything.

The Indian government has withdrawn a controversial report submitted in court earlier this week which questioned the existence of the Hindu god Ram.

The report was withdrawn after huge protests by opposition parties.

The report was presented to the Supreme Court on Wednesday in connection with a case against a proposed shipping canal project between India and Sri Lanka.

Hindu hardliners say the project will destroy what they say is a bridge built by Ram and his army of monkeys.

Scientists and archaeologists say the Ram Setu (Lord Ram’s bridge) – or Adam’s Bridge as it is sometimes called – is a natural formation of sand and stones.

Technically, yes, scientists and archaeologists say that the Ram Setu is a natural formation, but they say that because (a) it is a natural formation and (b) believing an army of monkeys made it is really, really stupid.

In their report submitted to the court, the government and the Archaeological Survey of India questioned the belief, saying it was solely based on the Hindu mythological epic Ramayana.

They said there was no scientific evidence to prove that the events described in Ramayana ever took place or that the characters depicted in the epic were real.

Huh. Imagine that.

Mythological stories, for which there is little to no evidence, being used to counter mountains (or land bridges, even) of scientific knowledge and understanding, with the end result inhibiting progress.

How bizarre!

In the last two days, the opposition Bharatiya Janata Party (BJP) has launched a scathing attack on the government for questioning the “faith of the million”.

They have Republicans in India? Wow!

It’s nice to know that myth-driven stupidity isn’t limited to the United States. However, it’s also disappointing to know the same.

Roll Tide!

Sunday, September 16th, 2007

That was a nail-biter last night!

Overlooking, for the moment, that the Tide gave up a 21-0 lead to be losing in the final seconds, the game had a beautiful ending.

The Alabama offense raced out to a 21-0 lead Saturday against Arkansas and scored a game-winning touchdown with eight seconds left in the game to cap a come-from-behind shootout win against the Razorbacks (1-1, 0-1 SEC), 41-38, at Bryant-Denny Stadium.

I watched the game with the local alumni group (and a British friend of mine who likes football and beer), and the place just erupted with the win, thoroughly annoying the natives who don’t get Southerners and their college football (honestly, Hughes Stadium, where the CSU Rams play, looks like something one of our high school teams might call home).

Ending the evening with more beer, two plates of chili cheese fries, and a Latina whose assets kept wanting to tumble out the top of her dress was a nice bonus.

Update: You can see the game winning play here, for the time being.

Lysa Harding Hates Her Vagina

Thursday, September 13th, 2007

Well, not really (I think), but she sure hates books that talk about sex, even when they are cautionary tales about the problems that can follow sexual activity at a young age:

BROOKWOOD — Lysa Harding, 15, couldn’t believe the sexually charged prose of the novel she checked out from the library at Brookwood High School. Her grandmother was offended, too.

Now they’re refusing to return the book, “Sandpiper” by Ellen Wittlinger, saying other teens shouldn’t be exposed to it…

The novel tells the story of a 15-year-old girl named Sandpiper Hollow Ragsdale who is on a “sexual power trip and engages in random hookups,” according to a review by the School Library Journal.

The book has been favorably reviewed and is intended for older teens, said Jane Smith, library media specialist for the Tuscaloosa County School system.

“It’s a cautionary tale for teenagers that oral sex is sex,” Smith told The Tuscaloosa News.

Oh, sure, Jane Smith (if that is your real name), let’s just teach the kids about the emotional, physical, and social aspects of sexuality by including sex in the discussion. Riiiight.

What kind of hippie free love freak are you?

Everyone knows it’s best just to tell the girls they can get preggers from kissing, and to tell the boys that women have teeth down there. Like a snapping turtle. A blossoming snapping turtle. With teeth.

Snap. Snap. Snap!

Lysa, who checked the book out at random last week for a book report, said it goes into too much graphic detail for high school students.

“I honestly believe that it should not be at school, because at my school they teach abstinence and no sex before marriage, but then all the book is teaching is how to do those things,” she said.

Which tells me that, rather than grasping the message of the books she reads, Lysa writes book reports that read like so: “This book was good. I liked it a lot. It made me happy. I like ponies. And baby Jesus. Baby Jesus on a pony would be nice. The end.”

Just charge her for the damn book and put a new one on the shelf.

Bang, Zoom, Straight to the Moon!

Thursday, September 13th, 2007

Google, not content with ruling our planet and harvesting our organs to power their mighty computer centers, is now looking to the moon:

LOS ANGELES, California (AP) — Google Inc. is bankrolling a $30 million out-of-this-world prize to the first private company that can safely land a robotic rover on the moon and beam back a gigabyte of images and video to Earth, the Internet search leader said Thursday.

If past trends continue, the first gigabyte of images from the moon to Earth will be lunar porn*.

* Little known fact: lunar porn is 1/6 as pornographic as Earth porn. Now, Jupiter porn, that’s some nasty sh*t.