Well, Then Stop Breaking the Law Maybe…

Colorado motorcyclists are unhappy with a local DJ:

DENVER – For years, motorcyclist Dana Straw has been an avid listener of Alice 105.9’s morning show. That is, until, this week, when he heard something he could not believe.

He says one of the show’s three disc jockeys, known as “Howie,” was talking about an encounter he had with a motorcyclist on the road who was driving erratically.

“He said, ‘I wanted to open a car door on these guys who were passing me on the shoulder of the road on the right hand side of the road,'” said Straw. “And then today, during his broadcast, pretty much was inviting other listeners to call into the radio and tell their stories, and was kind of egging listeners on to explain they would like to do the same thing too.”

Since the broadcast Wednesday morning, word of what reportedly took place on the airwaves has sparked a massive campaign by local motorcycle groups to boycott advertisers and listeners alike from the station.

They are writing in by the hundreds, sometimes thousands, on Web sites like http://www.cosportbikeclub.org.

I’ve listened to Alice 105.9 on my morning commute for a few years now. Often, the subject of the morning show is what is annoying the DJs (or what they have decided they will say annoys them). And then they invite others to share. It’s not as if law-breaking motorcyclists are the first and only target of their shtick.

Hey, motorcyclists on the shoulder annoy me too, and in the fantasy world of doing mean things you’d never really do because they’re wrong, opening the door on them crosses the mind. As does slamming on the brakes for the tail-gater that doesn’t get the message. And how about a PIT maneuver on jerks who cut in on you with no signal and very little room?

Anyway, there are two important facts here:

1 – Humans, at least the ones I’ve known, tend to periodically daydream about striking out at people who annoy them for any of a variety of reasons. Whether it’s the woman in the cube next door who thinks everyone shares her love of FM Smooth Jazz or some guy splitting lanes on the highway, the mind drifts to creative ways of resolving the issue.

Most of us won’t do it, and the lone idiot who will probably isn’t acting out because some amorphous voice named Howie was mad about it.

2 – The motorcyclists are not following Colorado law. If you want to ride on the shoulder, go back to California, Ponch.

Dang, I hope that women who play FM Smooth Jazz in their cubes aren’t going to boycott my blog now.

Besides, if you want a real reason to be annoyed by the Alice morning show, just wait until Jennifer rambles on about how the nonsense behind The Secret and the “Law of Attraction” are just so wonderful and powerful and amazing. I damn near wrecked taking my eyes off the road to roll them every few seconds.

5 Responses to “Well, Then Stop Breaking the Law Maybe…”

  1. You know who Says:

    Nice rant. I guess if you are breaking the law it is ok for someone to kill you. It is amazing you are still alive assuming have ever been over the speed limit once in your life.

  2. andy Says:

    You might want to look up the term “straw man argument.”

    In the meantime, note that I never said it was ok to kill people breaking the law.

  3. Angie Says:

    That’s it! I’m going to rally the troops to boycott your blog for bashing California drivers! You could have picked any state, but no! You picked MY state!

    Consider yourself boycotted!

  4. andy Says:


    I did not bash California drivers; I instructed motorcyclists who like lane splitting and such to go to the only state in the Union where it is legal to do so (from my research). The mention of Ponch from CHiPs was just a stroke of literary genius.

  5. jed Says:

    >I guess if you are breaking the law it is ok for someone to kill you.

    Well, in some cases, yes.

    And I don’t care whether it’s smooth Jazz, Percy Faith, or White Zombie. If you’re playing music in your cube, loud enough for anyone else to hear, then you need to die.

    Also, movie studios that fail to uphold the traditional American image of the heroic general infantryman. Apple pie, or else. You know who you are.

Leave a Reply