Treasure Hunt: Laundry Room Edition

While furiously cleaning the house today, as we have a number of guests coming to entertain Child 1 and Child 2 while we’re off having Child 3, I took a whack at the laundry room (also home to our second pantry and a closet full of junk that just hasn’t found a good home elsewhere).

Being industrious – and a bit of a mop-wielding masochist – I decided to move the washing machine and give a good scrub under there, as it hasn’t seen daylight in several years. Upon moving it, I came upon:

  • A crisp one dollar bill – my lucky day!

  • A large patch of what was either dried up dog puke or dog pee, although were I a betting man with a crisp new one dollar bill (hey, wait…) I’d wager on the puke aspect, given the chunky bits. Adding to the esophageal ambiance was a metric ton of dog and cat hair fully caked into the former morass of goo that was now solidified nasty-ick.

Perhaps they were signs from above… the dollar to help me out with the avalanche of medical bills that will follow from tomorrow’s procedure (I picked a fine year to scale back my medical insurance to the cheap plan) and the goo as my own personal warm-up comedian preparing me for the hilarity that is those first few newborn diapers.

See, and that’s why I don’t believe in God, because, dude, that’s just mean.

We’re off to the hospital in the morning. Should have babydom by early afternoon. Updates then.

Out. Yo.

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