Coors Implicitly Admits Its Beer Tastes Like Ass

On the long, rainy drive home today, I was listening to the radio when an ad for Coors came on. The spot highlighted Coors wonderful, new innovation in beer: subzero draught.

That’s right, they have outfitted some bars with taps that dispense Coors at supercooled temperatures. Below 32F. Subzero. Stupid.

Given that the flavors of good beer truly shine when served at the right temperature, which is nowhere close to being as low as 32F, why would they (a) do this and (b) think it was a good idea?

My best guesses are that people who drink Coors wouldn’t know a good beer if it shoved its above-zero bottleneck in their hineyhole, and they’re easily distracted by shiny objects and dumb marketing gimmicks.

Also, Coors tastes like poop, so maybe hiding the “flavor” is a good thing after all.

What next? Will Nickelback release an album that plays at 0 decibels?

Oh let us pray.

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