Archive for May, 2007

Please Don’t Go

Wednesday, May 16th, 2007

While I think that the final two on American Idol should be Blake Lewis and Melinda Doolittle, I must admit that I would be sad to see Jordin Sparks (who is 27 feet and 2 inches tall) leave the show.

Because of her singing? Not so much.

Because of the way she makes Ryan Seacrest look like one of The Littles? Nope, not even that!

It’s because she’s been very good for this site’s traffic and revenue, with each week that she moves closer to the top spot making things that much better.

So – Jordin – you go, girl!

If you don’t, I guess I’ll have to find out what searches people are doing for Blake and Melinda and play that up too.

And that sounds like a modest effort. Ugh.

Update! Excellent, Jordin Sparks has made it through to the final round, which means I will see many of you good searching people next week. Hurrah!

Going Great Guns on God’s Goons (Golly!)

Wednesday, May 16th, 2007

I might have shown some restraint in my post below regarding the death of Jerry Falwell.

But, uh, Christopher Hitchens sure didn’t.

(found via PZ Myers)

RMBB 6.Something

Tuesday, May 15th, 2007

Coming (once again) to the Mile High City on 07/07/07.

I have proposed a start time of 7:07pm.

Now, you don’t have to follow my lead, but I like to set my drinkin’ clock to the Eastern time zone.

Location to be determined. Attendees to self-select. Shannon to table dance.

See you there.

American Idol Live Recap, May 15, 2007

Tuesday, May 15th, 2007

I missed Jordin Sparks’ performance, but caught the tail end of the judges’ comments. Not much for me to offer here except: man, that dress was not flattering to a 27 foot tall woman like Jordin (and, you know, she’s not unattractive).

Blake Lewis, Round One: I agree with Simon. The only way to sing “Roxanne” is to try to imitate Sting, because singing it normally would be bland and doing something different would earn Simon’s wrath. That said, it wasn’t a bad performance, there just wasn’t a whole lot of “there” there.

Melinda Doolittle, Round One: I think that’s your next American idol right there.


Jordin Sparks, Round Two: I was unimpressed until the end when she started belting out the song with some power and feeling. I’m still generally unimpressed with myself for writing about this show so often.

Blake Lewis, Round Two: Maroon 5 as performed by Jamiroquai? Not the best singer of the lot, but I figure there are millions of 12-year old girls who buy multiple copies of his stuff.

Melinda Doolittle, Round Two: OK, so maybe Blake will be your next American idol.

Update: And then I changed channels.


Anyway, my bet for next week is Blake vs Melinda in a heavyweight title match for the ages (10-14).

Jerry Falwell: 1933-2007

Tuesday, May 15th, 2007

As you’ve probably heard, the Reverend Jerry Falwell died today:

The Rev. Jerry Falwell, the television minister whose 1979 founding of the Moral Majority galvanized American religious conservatives into a political force, died Tuesday at age 73.

Falwell was found unconscious and without a pulse in his office at Liberty University, the college he founded in Lynchburg, Virginia, said Ron Godwin, the school’s executive vice president.

Though paramedics tried to revive him at his office and en route to Lynchburg General Hospital, “Those very timely and very efficient and effective efforts were unsuccessful,” Godwin said.

No word yet on what role pagans, abortionists, feminists, gays, or lesbians may have played in his death.

Seriously, though, while I don’t celebrate his death and would have never wished serious ill upon the man (maybe a cold sore or some sort of ironic venereal disease), I’m not going to dress it up all nice and say I will miss him, as I’m sure another mouthpiece for the Messiah will sprout up like a severed head from the Hydra. I will not applaud him for standing up for his beliefs in the face of criticism, because – well – I think he was wrong, and driven by beliefs based upon nothing but myth and magic.

Golf clap

That said, my condolences to his family, his friends, and his congregation. Taking a page from the Christians, I also hope that he saw the error of his ways before he closed his eyes for the last time.

Why The United Nations is Laughable and Irrelevant

Saturday, May 12th, 2007

Reason number 9,283:

UNITED NATIONS (AP) — Zimbabwe won approval on Friday to head a key U.N. body charged with promoting economic progress and environmental protection despite protests from the U.S., European nations and human rights organizations.

Ah, yes, Zimbabwe, headed by brutal thug Robert Mugabe, a paragon of economic insight.

For close to seven years, Zimbabwe’s economy and quality of life have been in slow, uninterrupted decline. They are still declining this year, people there say, with one notable difference: The pace is no longer so slow.

Indeed, Zimbabwe’s economic descent has picked up so much speed that President Robert Mugabe, the nation’s ruler for the past 27 years, is starting to lose support from parts of his own party.

I’m thinking we foment a violent overthrow and install David to bring prosperity to his former home.

And then we celebrate with beer. Mmm, beer.

Next Rocky Mountain Bloggger Bash? Harare, baby.

Got Plans Tonight?

Saturday, May 12th, 2007

It’s short notice, I realize, but if you’re free tonight – say, not hanging out with the in-laws or the future in-laws, depending upon whom you are – might I recommend you visit the Mercury Cafe for Tellerpalooza?

Tellerpalooza IV: No school like the Old school!

Four years strong, TellerPalooza raises money to support Teller Elementary, Congress Park’s neighborhood school. TellerPalooza showcases incredible local Denver bands, including Teller’s own student band and the Denver School of the Arts Small Jazz group, in the intimate Mercury Cafe’ on 22nd and California.

It sounds like a good time will be had by all, with some good tunes and – of course – beer. Mmmm, beer.

If you do go, send along a friendly grope of the bottom from me to her*, if you would.

* Not that I’ve ever groped her bottom, but I’m all about living vicariously and not getting into trouble with Mrs. WWR.

Condi Does Damascus

Thursday, May 3rd, 2007

Seems like it was just a month ago that the Bush administration, and assorted right-wing pundits, were blasting Nancy Pelosi for meeting with the Syrians.

My how things have changed.

The Bush administration has ended its diplomatic quarantine of Syria by having the Secretary of State meet her counterpart from Damascus during a conference in Egypt that the US hopes will be a first step towards restoring stability to Iraq

I’m not saying Pelosi was right to go to Syria, because – well – I don’t think she was, and I don’t see much long-term value in engaging a terrorist-sponsoring government like that in Syria in the future of Iraq, given that their only response will be whatever increases Syria’s leverage in the region, whether that bode well or ill for the Iraqis.

It’s just the… you know… rank hypocrisy of the whole charade.

Double Your Fun

Tuesday, May 1st, 2007

Hey, did you just finish watching American Idol and are now desperate to shake off that semi-permanent cringe you adopted when Chris took the stage?

Might I suggest watching Bodydoubles: International Twins Search?

As with Chris’ performances, I would probably recommend the sound be down on this too so you don’t have to hear the inane banter of the hostess and hotties.

Did She Turn Anyone Into a Newt?

Tuesday, May 1st, 2007

Superstitious acceptance of religious myth strikes again!

A crowd of Guyanese villagers lynched an elderly woman they accused of being an evil spirit who drinks the blood of human babies, police said Monday.

Authorities in the South American country said the woman raised suspicions with unusual behavior and was set upon by villagers who apparently believed she was an “Old Higue”—the equivalent of a vampire in the local Obeah religion that blends folk magic and African rituals.

Some expressed surprise at the persistence of belief in Higues, a creature said to take the shape of an old woman who can shrink herself to enter victims’ homes through a keyhole.

Pfffft. Silly old beliefs.

Besides, everyone knows that the real problem is cranky, invisible demons that inhabit the bodies of humans, disparage the names of the triune God, and can only be removed by a proper exorcism.

Because that’s so much more sensible and realistic, see.