Creationist “Science” Teachers Continue To Raise a Generation of Stupid

Heh.

Brian Benson, an eighth-grade student who won first place in the Life Science/Biology category for his project “Creation Wins!!!,” says he disproved part of the theory of evolution. Using a rolled-up paper towel suspended between two glasses of water with Epsom Salts, the paper towel formed stalactites. He states that the theory that they take millions of years to develop is incorrect.

“Scientists say it takes millions of years to form stalactites,” Benson said. “However, in only a couple of hours, I have formed stalactites just by using paper towel and Epsom Salts.”

I suppose that if little Brian Benson had put a fish and a monkey in a cage, and they never mated to spawn a fonkey (pronounced “funky” for you laymen), he’d have won the uber-First prize and a tour of the Discovery Institute.

Ooh!

Ahhhh!

Ook ook bubble bubble!

(that’s the mating sound of a fonkey, see?)

4 Responses to “Creationist “Science” Teachers Continue To Raise a Generation of Stupid”

  1. SeanH Says:

    Oh, sweet Jebus. This one’s so stupid it actually made me wince.

  2. Kevin Says:

    Don’t be mean to Brian, he’ll be flipping your burgers one day. Never piss off anyone who cooks your food.

  3. TeaFizz Says:

    “…he’ll be flipping your burgers one day.”

    Or delivering the state of the union address…

  4. Paul Says:

    Who taught that stupid kid that stalactites were made of epsom salt? Try disolving limestone onto a paper towel and making stalactites out of that. And they don’t even have anything to do with evolution. This is sad…

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