American Idol: (Almost) Live Recap, April 24, 2007 – Idol Gives Back

Tonight is the charity event “Idol Gives Back.” Just watched Simon and Ryan poking about a poor African village.

Oddly, when Simon says that it’s horrible and wrong for people to live in such abject poverty, I’m reminded that he lives with millions and millions of dollars – he could bathe in the stuff. Of course, I am pretty comfortable myself, so perhaps that makes me a bit of a hypocrite – but it makes Simon like a million times bigger hypocrite. So there.

My conscience is eased, for at least the next hour.

Up first, it’s Curious George Richardson…I see he’s brought his trademark raised eyebrows, cheesy grin, and head wag. That doesn’t bode well.

Wow, who thought that changing the world could be so damned boring? Although the run at the end was decent I suppose.

Apparently the judges were piping in a different song than the one I was hearing.

Melinda Doolittle: OK, I missed all that because of the family. Was it any good? She’s a consistent performer, so I’m not too worried that she mangled anything.

Blake Lewis: Hmmm, did he just turn a classic into a lame version as if it were performed by Keane while stoned?

I think what “Imagine” really needs is some human beatboxing to communicate the essence of world peace and love.

Lakisha Jones: Decent performance, although I think her star has faded since the first weeks. Perhaps she shone so brightly back then because the comparisons were being made to, oh, Haley’s boobs and not Haley’s voice.

Phil Stacey: Sorry, Ewan is lying on the floor and screaming… not sure if it’s because of Phil’s performance or because we told the boy to quit playing with his peepee in front of the family. Must deal with this crisis…

…ok, emergency situation has passed.

Now, about Phil. Yeah, that was ok, although the song choice was dull. I guess “Friends in Low Places” isn’t really an inspiration-in-the-face-of-suffering ditty.

Jordin Sparks: Since Jordin is 27 feet tall, I’m guessing that set she’s on must be a good 30 feet. Now, about the performance: I like Jordin, but I must confess I only understood about 27% of what she was singing.

She could be the Michael Stipe of American Idol at this rate.

And that’s that…did I miss Bono?

If so, I shall console myself with the Ujena Bikini Jam airing on the channel next door.

2 Responses to “American Idol: (Almost) Live Recap, April 24, 2007 – Idol Gives Back”

  1. Julie O. Says:

    I see you haven’t blogged on the results show. Did you see it? Was that Kelly Clarkson in a long dress and single-colored hair? ‘Cause I don’t usually like Kelly Clarkson, but she sang the living shit out of that song.

  2. Jon Says:

    The Stayin’ Alive video is a prime indicator that Paula’s not the only person associated with American Idol who’s regularly stoned. “We have Helen Mirren… now we need Dolenz. And get that butler guy from the Nanny to dance with Kirstie Alley in a priest’s outfit. Is Britney Spears out of rehab? No? ‘kay fine, see if Helena Bonham Carter’s available, she’s the next best thing. And for God’s sake don’t get Hugh Grant unless he looks like it’s Day 5 of a 4 Day Drunk and only do Chris Kattan if Rob Schneider’s available because we need one’s superstardom to balance out the other.

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