We’re Not So Good at Math

When Mrs. WWR and I first found out we were expecting #3, all of a couple of weeks ago, we sat down and attempted to figure out how far along we were. She had only just started showing noticeably, and with Fiona and Ewan she was showing around eight weeks.

OK, that was one clue.

We thought about those nights in the last few months where perhaps our human desires overwhelmed the daily stress of work and family and the minute-to-minute tension of “24,” not to mention the anxiety caused by the odd seasonal breaks in “Heroes” and “Battlestar Galactica.”

I think if you have a hard time figuring out when you conceived, it’s because you either have sex too often (if there is such a thing) or not often enough (which most certainly there is). Given that we’ve been married over nine years, I leave it to you to guess which was the cause of our conceptual confusion.

So, after a careful consideration of the facts before us, we decided we were probably 8-12 weeks into the pregnancy, which would give us our newest family member sometime in late October / early November. Plenty of time to put money aside to buy a larger car for Mrs. WWR, a little extra to cover the copay on the delivery, etc. No problemo.

We can do this!

Alas, there’s an old military saying, translated from the writings of Prussian Field Marshal Helmuth von Moltke:

No battle plan survives contact with the enemy.

Not that little fetus “Sanjaya” is the enemy, of course, but we had our first encounter with him / her today via the invisible magical waves of ultrasound (each of which is directed and reflected by the loving hands of Jesus, no lie).

They measured the head. They measured the torso. They measured the waist.

The arms. The legs.

The machine gurgled and clanked and spit out a number:

23

As in, 23 weeks. Not eight. Not 12. No, 23.

Change in plans. The October / November baby just became an August 7 baby.

S’pose I better get down to the family room and start scouring the sofa for loose change.

10 Responses to “We’re Not So Good at Math”

  1. Angie Says:

    You realize if there was a god, he would be laughing at you right now. But since there isn’t, I’ll go ahead and do the laughing.

    With you of course. Always with you. :)

  2. Shnakepup Says:

    Congrats, man! Although the timing DOES suck a little bit…I can’t imagine having to prepare for another child in such short time. Jeez.

    My son’s due date was August 8th. He was born July 31st. Not that your kid will be early or anything like that…

  3. Roger Fraley Says:

    Congrats and best wishes for the future. I have three children, who are aged 22, 21 and 20 right now, all in college (and I’m so poor now I can’t even pay attention). But for the first 18 years it was all sweetness and light, or at least that’s what I recall now in my dotage.

  4. Angie Says:

    lol Shnakepup … my youngest was due Aug 11th, born Jul 30th. I swear he did it to annoy me cause everyone knows I hate the month of July. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr 12 days early. They say plus / minus 2 weeks, but really now!

  5. mr lady Says:

    HAHAHAHAHAHA!

    (To Andy that is. To the Mrs, I couldn’t be more happy for you and your shortened pregnancy.)

  6. wheels Says:

    I happen to be fond of August birthdays, personally, but I realize that this one came as a shock to you. I hope the doctors are right about the short remaining term, or else that’s gonna be one BIG baby.

  7. Diane Says:

    Wow. Seriously? The Mrs. is that far along and you guys just found out?

    The doctor could be wrong?

  8. andy Says:

    Not unless there’s record of a 12 week old fetus being 11 inches long and 1.5 pounds.

  9. Diane Says:

    Andy,

    I’m happy for you and the Mrs., but I find this amazing.

  10. PatrickP Says:

    Dorks.

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