A little late to the game but thanks to the magic of my DVR, you’ll never know the difference. Amen.
So, the celebrity guest for tonight is Gwen Stefani. Alrighty. Not much to say, as she’s quite popular, and yet I can’t really say I’d pay for anything she’s ever recorded (my wife, on the other hand, would and has, so it’s a good thing she’s loveable in so many other ways).
On with the show…
Lakisha: Sorry, Ewan was bugging me for a cup of milk during the performance. Sounded ok to me though, and the judges liked it. Paula didn’t cry, so that’s a nice change.
Chris Sligh: Gwen looks better on this show than I think she has ever looked. Also, refreshing, she’s honest with the Idol-wannabes, unlike every other superstar who has tried to find something nice to say.
“Every Little Thing She Does is Magic.” Hmmmm. Not his best.
Did Randy just say the problem was Chris’ “package?” Oh my.
It’s looking like Chris’ fat guy underdog charm is wearing thin for the judges. Too bad, I had high hopes. Heh, I said “fat guy…charm” and “wearing thin.” I slay me with my unintentional humor. Or not.
Gina Glocksen: She’s looking kind of like Chrissie Hynde tonight. Well, if Chrissie was considerably younger, hotter, and waiting tables in a gentleman’s club. Hubba.
Once again, I was distracted by Ewan, but from what I heard it sounded like one of her better performances.
“Chalk and cheese?” Must be a Britishism. Must ask the wife.
Commercial Break: Crikey, did you see Sanjaya’s hair? The dude is just daring us to kick him off, knowing that “Vote for the Worst” has got his back.
Sanjaya Malakar: I suppose if you can’t pass yourself off as an American Idol, there’s no harm in trying to sneak by as a giant Indian rooster.
Although, you know, the chorus is probably the best singing this guy has done all season.
And what a long season it has been so far.
In other news, Ewan just now learned to say “bye bye.”
Haley Scarnato: One of her better performances, I think, complete with legs. Delightful legs.
Weak ending though…it just faded out into…whatever.
You know, when Paula says “pretty girl,” you know you’re in trouble.
When I say “hubba,” you know… well… what I might be doing later tonight (at least it won’t create yet another baby).
Phil Stacey: Good performance of “Every Breath You Take.” I tend to lean toward the stalker interpretation of the lyrics, not because I like to stalk or anything – well, at least not stalk you – so it wasn’t quite creepy enough for me.
Paula says the verses aren’t very lively. Uh, yeah, Paula, see, that’s how the song was written. If he had done runs and put puppies on his head, it wouldn’t have worked.
Melinda Doolittle: Sorry, was dealing with a diaper from the boy that makes the Exxon Valdez look like a little roadside litter. Sounded powerful though (the singing, not the diaper filler).
Blake Lewis: Wow, it’s Blake Lewis doing 311 doing The Cure.
Say, am I the only one to notice that he and Kevin Covais have the same eyes? And the same outstretched hand gesture? …insert Twilight Zone theme…
Paula loved what Blake did with the song. Uh, 311 did it first, you yahoo. And it was dull then too.
Jordin Sparks: One initial note – frumpy plaid country outfits make big girls look bigger.
I can’t be fair judging this song because – well – I hate it. I’ve liked a lot of Jordin’s performances, girl can sing. I just wish she didn’t sing that.
Curious George: Chris has a good voice, as long as he’s not asked to step outside of his comfort zone. For the most part, though, *yawn*.
So, when the hell does Sanjaya go home??