A Very Sophisticated, Educated Assessment of the Upcoming 2008 Campaign

Sen. Hillary R. Clinton: I like her, I’ll admit it. She’s sassy and not afraid to say out loud that she hates to ever-living crap out of George Bush. She loathes him and it shows. That’s pretty balsy for a woman in politics and I am drawn to it. Honestly, really, truly honestly, I must admit that my vote for her would really be my vote for getting Bill back in the White House. I dig Bill Clinton. I think he was a good president and set a fine example for the next admistration to follow. Can you imagine where we’d be right now if W just got a decent blow-job every now & then? My guess? Not Iraq.

Sen. Barack Obama: I really like him. Like, a LOT. He just seems like a for real person, an actual American. He does good things. I just like him, OK?

Sen. Joe Biden: He is from Delaware. I am from Delaware. That kinda seals my vote, now doesn’t it?

Rep. Tom Tancredo: Seriously?? This ass-hat is thinking about running? I will seriously carve out every part of me that has touched American soil with a spoon and move to Eritrea if he gets elected.

Rudy Guiliani: Here’s where my dilemma lies. Not that I am a Democrat or anything, but dear god in heaven I am certainly not a Republican. But this guy, he’s a bit o’ alright, he is. He is smart and clever and he, well, if you can keep New York in order through what he did, you just might sway my vote. Sometimes I worry that he is too far up W’s heiney-hole to do what is best for our nation and not just what is expected, but hey, he’s a New Yorker. Ain’t no New Yorker too far up anybody’s heiney-hole.

Blake, I’d love it if you took the next four.

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