When not off and about frightening young children with the threats of hellfire and damnation, it seems evangelicals have taken a likin’ to another captive audience: inmates.

Life was different in Unit E at the state prison outside Newton, Iowa.

The toilets and sinks, white porcelain ones, like at home, were in a separate bathroom with partitions for privacy. In many Iowa prisons, metal toilet-and-sink combinations squat beside the bunks, to be used without privacy, a few feet from cellmates.

The cells in Unit E had real wooden doors and doorknobs, with locks. More books and computers were available, and inmates were kept busy with classes, chores, music practice and discussions. There were occasional movies and events with live bands and real-world food, like pizza or sandwiches from Subway. Best of all, there were opportunities to see loved ones in an environment quieter and more intimate than the typical visiting rooms.

But the only way an inmate could qualify for this kinder mutation of prison life was to enter an intensely religious rehabilitation program and satisfy the evangelical Christians running it that he was making acceptable spiritual progress.

“Acceptable spiritual progress?” What, exactly, is the metric by which one evaluates such a thing? Ah, yes, “is the prisoner parroting the same nonsense I’ve been spewing at him for six months?”

Hey, I’m fine with prisons teaching skills that are valuable on the outside, for the drive to rehabilitate rather than just punish and release, but this is one of those cases in which “god is for suckers” comes to mind. Let’s see, I pretend to have found Jesus and I get special treatment; I don’t find Jesus and it’s time to piss in a shiny metal bowl every morning and stare at cinder blocks for fun.

Tough choice.

The prisons are already full of self-professed Christians. Perhaps if we want to see a real change, we should be teaching them that god is a myth and all we have is one another.

Nah, the churches would never allow that: no money in it.

Tonight’s meal, prepared once again by yours truly, was Malabar Spice-Crusted Steaks with Gingered Carrot Puree. I didn’t do the called-for hanger steaks, opting instead for a single sirloin to divvy up among the wife, myself, and wee Fiona; and I didn’t have any unsweetened coconut flakes on hand, so I used the sweetened variety (last seen in this Coconut Pudding Triangle recipe, which I used on Thanksgiving).

It all turned out well.

By themselves, the steak and the carrot puree were blandly one-sided, but together they complemented each other perfectly.

As it was a bit of a last minute decision, I threw together some brown rice and green beans for sides, and served a 2005 Estancia Pinot Noir as the wine of choice. I think it all turned out quite well, and there was just enough left over for my lunch on Monday, sure to lead my fellow employees into the bitter depths of sadness whilst they compare their bologna sandwiches to my delectable meal.

If you’re looking to buy a Playstation 3 - and, really, who isn’t? (aside from me, because I’m going to wait until sometime next year, and only because I want the Blu-Ray DVD player inside of it) - then check out PS3 Seeker, a website that will let you, based upon your ZIP, look for the best deals in town and online.

You can also look for the Nintendo Wii, but that seems to be such a wimpy machine (relatively speaking; I’m sure it blows away this 4 yr old PC on which I am typing).

Anyway, if you were looking to get me something for Christmas, a radically-overpriced PS3 would be most welcome.

Amen and may the good Lord bless you.

Keywords: housing bubble, home mortgage, home loan, Denver

Interesting article on the Denver real estate market at The Housing Bubble Blog; unless, you know, you don’t live in Denver.

But if you do… and own a home… or want to buy one… or sell one: have a look. The news isn’t so cheery, especially if you took out a “crazy person loan.”

When I say “crazy person loan,” I’m talking those no-interest-this, no-down-payment-that, and ARM yourself, because you’re gonna be mighty pissed when that interest rate adjusts to something in the stratosphere.

I’m a fan of the 30-year fixed loan, as you can guess (unless you can swing payments on a 15-year loan, in which case, knock yourself out).

My neighborhood has been pretty flat for the last year, with our house staying steady in the $270K range (which is probably unrealistic considering we have two kids, two dogs, two cats, and what used to be good carpet and a nice hardwood floor in the kitchen… but then we did put in landscaping and a patio… so, in short, what I am saying is “I have no clue what it’s worth but I err on the high side to make me feel good.”)

Regardless, it’s big enough for us now and I’ve grown accustomed to my 30 mile commute across downtown Denver each morning, and - well - it’s home. Until I become stinking rich and then it’s just a ghetto, yo.

* As always, extra-super-special bonus points for naming the source of the title.

Speaking of changes, I think it’s about time this site had a redesign. And an upgrade or change of blogging software. And a wine cellar, because that would be nifty.

Yeah, I’m thinking I should think about thinking about getting around to doing that sometime soon. Really soon.

Maybe.

And stuff.

You know, I think I’ve grown tired of blogging in a style that is mean, insulting, mocking, and cynical toward my fellow humans. Perhaps I need a break, a change of pace, some posi-blogging.

Rainbows sure are pretty.

OK, that was fun. Back to being me.

Wait, wait: Maybe that brief pondering of rainbows has left me a changed man (no, I’ve not turned gay or nothin’, so don’t you ladies worry your pretty little heads, ’cause I heard that collective sigh of grief when you read that first bit and, you know, it touched me in lots of ways tingly places).

Uh, anyway, so yeah - I’m out and about, stopping off at Total Beverage (pronounce that like it’s French - “bev-er-’�zh” - sounds posh that way) to buy some of this when I notice that the cashier, a woman probably about my age, has a GED study guide at her register.

The old me would have thought “Wow, little bit late for that, sister.” But - no! - the new me thought “That’s really great to see someone trying to make up for the bad decisions or misfortunes of their youth. Good for you!”

I would have said it out loud, but then that would be just another one of you womenfolk crushing on me, and - well - there are only so many manhours in one Andy-day.

See, I’m a new man!

Wait, Wait… Wait: I think I need to do a quick flip back to the old me, to point out this further bit of DonSurberian Wisdom in response to some of his lefty commenters supporting the Iraq Study Group’s findings:

So lefties support imperialism, a bunch of white-haired old men 10,000 miles away deciding what is right for brown-skinned people

I am totally not surprised.

Whereas the Bush administration deciding what was right for the people of Iraq was… um… hmmm.

And pulling OUT of a country is imperialism in the sense of… errr… ummmm.

Also, it’s more like a little over 6000 miles from Washington, DC to Baghdad.

Such dazzling powers! Did you ever know that you’re my heeeeerrrooooo….?

OK, back to the “nice” me.

The recent polarization of American politics has been a tragedy for all involved, if only because one has to witness such mental disconnects as this:

On December 2, oft-linked blog-pundit Don Surber said this in regard to the “Rumsfeld wants change” memo:

But the machinations of the White House don’t matter because what happens in Iraq is up to the Iraqis, and has been for some time.

…and…

Let the lefties have the Rummy memo to drool over. Bush is in the Middle East, telling the boys that with a Democratic majority in the House and Senate, fun time is over. They either kiss and make up now, or they kiss their nation goodbye.

Something tells me that will get Maliki to throw caution to the wind and actually make a decision.

So, here we have the assertion that the future of Iraq is up to the Iraqis, and that the real driving force behind it all is that the Democrats have enough power to stop putting up with Bush’s “stay the course” idiocy.

Granted, I don’t think that’s what Surber intended, but when dealing with blind partisans, they tend to lose the tune after three or four sentences. Hey Jude, don’t make it bad. Take a sad song, and make it better. Blah blah, blah blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah. And blah blah blah. Hey Jude…

Now, a mere four days after that statement, what is Surber saying in response to the Iraq Study Group Report? This:

The Iraq Study Group just does not get it. This is not about the United States; this is about Iraq.

What is best for Iraq should be of paramount importance, not what makes the U.S. look good to our Saudi oil suppliers, or our French chefs, or our U.N. drinking buddies.

This is not Vietnam. This time we stay. Real men do not quit. Real friends stay. Real American patriots stand up for freedom.

All men are created equal.

Not all Americans — all men.

How dare James Baker and company show their faces in public after delivering these 79 recommendations for abandoning our allies in Iraq.

We have no right to leave now, to abandon Iraqis to the chaos we helped bring.

So, you see, the future of Iraq is all about Iraqis, unless someone other than Dubya suggests it. And real men stay, goddamnit, even if it means staying right behind their keyboard or the loaner car in a hometown parade. Those damn Iraqi insurgents can have my NumLock key when they pry it from my cold, dead fingers!

I’m not saying that everyone who supports a war has to be on the frontline any more than I would say that anyone who approves of the fire department should be willing to charge into burning buildings. However, if someone sat around outside each burning house saying “Booyah! Go get’em, hombre!” I’d probably knock their f’ing block off.

There’s a reason a number of independents fled from the Republicans last time around: we’re tired of you just making shit up to fit whatever the meme of the hour happens to be.

Iraq depends on the Iraqis, and has for some time!

But let’s not abandon them, because Iraq depends on us!

….errrr… ummm… and why don’t they believe in Jesus anyway?

This is, at least in the scope of my 35 years of life here on Planet Earth, a remarkable bit of right-wing stupidity. I expect this idiocy from the Daily Kossacks, the Huffington Posters, the Deaniacs… but such mouth-breathing nimroddian dipshittism from the rightwing does little but convince me that I am, truly, a man without a country, when it comes to politics.

We, the thinking, are surrounded by idiots.

Millions of them.

Note: Hmmm, Don’s “links to this post” used to have my blog entry listed. Now it’s gone. Echo echo chamber chamber.

Yeah, what I said up there.

Raise a beer!

Note: That’s essentially “Happy Independence Day” to my Finnish friends. To this day, Finland remains a country I love, for sauna, sisu, and Salmiakkikossu as a start.

I lived in Oulu, Finland in 1994-1995, went back in 96 and 98, and yearn to go back for another visit soon, if only for the nad-curdlin’ joys of jumping into avanto.

OK, maybe not:

An American Airlines flight was forced to make an emergency landing Monday morning after a passenger lit a match to disguise the scent of flatulence, authorities said….

The FBI questioned a passenger who admitted she struck the matches in an attempt to conceal a “body odor,” Lowrance said. She had an unspecified medical condition, authorities said.

I have inside sources that tell me the unspecified medical condition is, get this, “Farty Arty Syndrome.” I shit you not (no pun intended, amen).

Our potential next Secretary of Defense says we’re not winning:

Robert Gates, the White House choice to be the next defense secretary, conceded Tuesday that the United States is losing the war in Iraq and warned that if that country is not stabilized in the next year or two it could lead to a “regional conflagration.”

Gates, 63, said he believes President Bush wants to see Iraq improve to the point where it can govern and defend itself, while seeking a new approach. “What we are now doing is not satisfactory,” Gates said.

“In my view, all options are on the table, in terms of how we address this problem in Iraq,” he added.

Asked point-blank by Sen. Carl Levin, D-Mich., whether the U.S. is winning in Iraq, Gates replied, “No, sir.”

However, past evidence has shown that this administration doesn’t let bad news get in the way of spin - and this time is no different, to wit:

At today’s meeting with reporters at the White House, the major topics for Press Secretary Tony Snow, as expected, were the pending release of the Iraq Study Group’s report — and today’s surprise, the admission by Robert Gates, at his confirmation hearings as new Pentagon chief, that the U.S., indeed, is not winning the war in Iraq.

Snow said that, as far as he knows, the president has not backed away from his recent statement that the U.S. is actually “winning” in Iraq. He also suggested that Gates, elsewhere in his testimony, seemed to say that maybe we weren’t losing and we weren’t winning. And he charged that the press was being too negative about all this: “What I think is demoralizing is a constant effort to try to portray this as a losing mission,” he said.

“We weren’t losing and we weren’t winning?”

Huh? What’s that then, here I am, stuck in the middle with you?

Good lord, but this administration has become a caricature of what real leadership and real responsibility look like. One would think that the electoral thrashing they received a few weeks ago might have been a wakey-wakey call, but no… they’re going to sleep clear on through 2008 by the look of things.

I don’t look forward to voting for more Democrats, but when the Republicans, even after a defeat, continue to strive for public image idiocy, what’s a boy to do?