Archive for November, 2006

No Yer Commandmunts

Thursday, November 30th, 2006

Especially that seventh one.

It’d be helpful if the dimwits of Cross City, FL could spell “adultery.”


adultry2.jpg

Whoops.

Who didn’t win the spelling bee as a child? Lindsay Lohan? Well, yes, but in this case it’s one Ben Barber:

Among the county businessmen involved in the project was Ben Barber, owner of Dixie Monument who spent two weeks engraving the monument.

I’m thinking an extra day spent with a dictionary might have been helpful too*.

* Yes, I have made spelling errors before. Just not on six ton monuments that I have been paid a large sum to engrave with the ever-so-holy words of someone’s God.

Lindsay Lohan: Lady of Letters

Wednesday, November 29th, 2006

Its with fondust wishes that I hope someday when I dyes or whatver that a famus person will right somethin this nice bout me.

However, I’m willing to overlook her rampaging slaughter of the English language now that she’s discovered the joy of eating like a normal person, thus resurrecting her boobies from Flatland.

That Which You Do Unto the Least of My People

Tuesday, November 28th, 2006

To quote the all-wise Cyndi Lauper, circa whatever decade that was, “I see your true colors shining through“:

The once-powerful Christian Coalition of America has suffered another setback.

The president-elect of the group has declined the job, saying the organization wouldn’t let him expand its agenda beyond opposing abortion and gay marriage.

The Rev. Joel Hunter, who was scheduled to take over the conservative group in January from Roberta Combs, said he had hoped to focus on issues such as poverty and the environment.

“These are issues that Jesus would want us to care about,” said Hunter, a senior pastor at Northland Church in Longwood, Fla.

Oh, sure, but who wants to go on and on about “feed the world” and “save the planet” when “shame and humiliate women” and “it’s Adam & Eve, not Adam & Steve” do so much more for one’s false sense of superiority?

Feeding people in the name of God is all well and good, but oppressing them? That, my brothers and sisters in Christ, is the shit.

Word to your Mother Mary, yo.