The FCC strikes a blow in defense of scantily clad Victoria’s Secret models and the people who enjoy watching them (except for that newer one who looks kind of like a man, but that’s just our opinion).

Here’s a clue for the morons who wrote to the FCC to complain about the show in question - see that remote control? Learn how to use it. Whine about things that matter, like world hunger and global strife - and not things that don’t, like a bunch of models in their unmentionables.

And no, it’s not lost on us that there’s a certain irony in us calling you a bunch of whiners.

Anyway, we have to go do important things like watch Victoria’s Secret models in their unmentionables.

Egypt continues to dispute the findings of the NTSB’s report on the crash of EgyptAir 990.

The NTSB’s conclusion is that copilot Gameel El-Batouty caused the disaster by, while alone in the cockpit, disconnecting the autopilot, reducing engine power, and pointing the plane towards the ocean - all the while, calmly repeating the phrase “I rely on God.”

Egypt maintains that it was most likely a mechanical problem with the 767 - nevermind that there is no evidence to indicate such, and there is evidence to indicate that El-Batouty counteracted the captain’s efforts to save his doomed plane.

Maybe he just wanted to get a closer look at that beautiful Nantucket ocean view.

Not to paint Arabs with too broad a brush but a larger issue is why are Arabs so reluctant to think that another Arab could ever do wrong? Didn’t September 11 show that simply being Arab and Muslim isn’t some badge of honor that keeps you on the moral straight and narrow?

Oh, wait, that’s right - many of them think Israel carried out the WTC attack too… Admittedly, the Arab nations have gotten some pretty bad press of late, but this head in the sand routine grows old.

Homeland Security Director Tom Ridge is refusing to testify before Congress with regard to the White House’s anti-terrorism budget, claiming it would violate the Constitution’s requirements on separation of powers. That may be all well and good, but what strikes the folks at WWR as odd is this quote:

Ridge said he will continue to meet informally with lawmakers, but he has no intention of testifying because he is an adviser to the president, not a Cabinet member obliged to appear on Capitol Hill.

..when compared to this quote from President Bush’s 9/20 address to the nation:

So tonight I announce the creation of a Cabinet-level position reporting directly to me — the Office of Homeland Security.

OK, so the position reports directly to the President… so an adviser perhaps… but it’s a Cabinet-level position? If the two are so separate in the mind of the Administration, why the need for it to be a Cabinet-level position? The Reagans had “advisers” that were loopy astrologers, but you didn’t seem them getting Cabinet-level positions. So, which is it? Is Tom Ridge merely an adviser (who happens to have responsibility for coordinating spending by several federal agencies - a little bit beyond advising, we’d say) - or is he part of the Cabinet? We suppose that depends on the day of the week.

Today marks the 20th anniversary release of E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial. While we’re sure it’s still the same heartwarming tale of a squooshyheaded (see Ann Coulter reference below) alien turning on his heart light, Spielberg felt compelled to make some edits for this release. Edits which, in our self-important opinion, are silly.

Digitally removing guns from the hands of government agents chasing an alien to replace them with walkie-talkies? We’ve seen the X-Files, damnit, and we know that agents always break out the guns when they are chasing aliens, vampires, and other creepy-crawlies. Seriously though, what’s the harm in showing government agents properly using the tools of the trade? You may hate handguns - that’s perfectly fine - but agents do, in fact, use them. No wanted person has ever been stopped by pointing a walkie-talkie at them.

Second - this change had apparently been made for the video release as well - what is the point in having the mother tell her son he can’t go out on Halloween looking like a terrorist, and then changing “terrorist” to “hippie.” Spielberg says it’s due to the current post-9/11 environment, and while his heart may be in the right place, if the kid looked like a terrorist, he looked like a terrorist. Or is he saying that hippies look like terrorists?

Also, in this post-9/11 country of ours, it isn’t exactly cool to be a pacifist hippie either.

Peace, out, people.

It seems the Incompetent Naturalization Service has blundered again.

Right now, four Pakistanis have disappeared into the American landscape - their motives unknown - one of whom is listed on a terrorist watch list.

The article goes on to say:

Once the men were discovered missing, the INS checked their names in its Interagency Border Information System and found that at least one had violated his visa status in the past.

Maybe it’s us, but that strikes us as putting the cart about two miles in front of the horse. It’s time to roll some heads, raze this organization, and begin anew - after the events of September 11, gaffes like this are beyond comprehension.

The Democrats think the government should, as the Democrat-controlled Senate Health, Education, Labor and Pensions Committee passes legislation that would limit the amount of employer stock you can have in your 401(k). If there’s anything we learned from the Enron debacle, it’s that investing is risky business and that it DEMANDS that investors understand what they are doing. Big Brother telling you how and when to invest your money isn’t the answer.

If you’re too dense or too lazy to read a book on the risks inherent in the game, then stay out of the market.

Now, was that so difficult?

Ha, ha, fooled you - didn’t we? Alabama’s Judicial Inquiry Commission has dismissed a complaint by the Lambda Legal Defense and Education Fund, filed in response to Alabama Supreme Court Chief Justice Roy Moore’s 45-page decision declaring a lesbian woman an unfit mother. The uproar was over Moore’s decision to include his uncalled for personal views on homosexuality alongside any legal issues which impacted his decision. The eloquent Chief Justice described homosexuality as “detestable,” “abhorrent,” and “an inherent evil.” However, as detailed in the story, in a letter to the LLDEF, the Commission said they do not act against judges for statements made in their opinions unless there is evidence of “ill will.”

Perhaps here at WWR we’re a bit slow, but disparaging the sexuality of perhaps 160,000 of his constituents strikes us as a pretty clear sign of - if not ill will - at least some serious loathing which might remove any and all vestiges of impartiality. As a judge, Roy Moore has an obligation to remove himself from any case in which he deems he cannot be impartial - and, alongside that, the Commission has an obligation to not talk out of their backside.

Somehow, we doubt either of those is likely to happen.

The Pope finally addressed the problem of pedophilia in the Catholic Church…sort of. Actually, we think he responded in the worst possible way. In fact, it was almost worse than no response at all. It seems as though someone had to pester and prod the Catholic Church into any sort of position at all, and when the Pope finally bothered to address the hundreds of millions of Catholics under his power, it came out as an almost resentful “Yeah, yeah, OK. It’s bad.”

There was no recommendation for strategies to deal with the problem, just a meaningless “let’s all get out there and try harder. Rah rah rah for the Lord!”

After the US moved to impose tariffs on steel imports to protect its dying domestic steel industry, we were a bit confused as to why a conservative President - who should be, typically, in favor of free market capitalism - would go the way of erecting barriers to free trade. The optimist in us would like to think it was to protect American jobs, and not to curry favor in steel-producing states which as this article suggests might be the case.

Of course, optimism about political motives is usually foolhardy. So, in a countermove that we consider brilliant, the European Union is set to impose import tariffs on products produced in those states which only narrowly went Republican in the last election - in what could prove to be a swift kick to the political groin of President Bush. Normally we would boo and hiss about trade barriers - but retaliatory measures are acceptable if they return us to a more free marketplace in the long run.

Now it gets interesting…

The verdict is in, guilty on all counts in the canine mauling death of Diane Whipple. Our favorite piece of the article:

“It’s not my fault,” Knoller said in a TV interview that was played for the jury. “Ms. Whipple had ample opportunity to move into her apartment. She could have just slammed the door shut. I would have.”

That’s right - blame the victim! And if shooting victims had just dodged the bullets, they’d be alive - after all, I would certainly dodge. It couldn’t possibly be your fault, Ms. Knoller, for owning two huge dogs known for their ferocity, that had menaced neighbors in the past, and that were trouble waiting to happen, now could it?

If complete stupidity were a crime, we’d slap that on to the offense of which you’ve already been convicted.

Good riddance.